[Applause]
we look good uh what's wrong with me
uh well happy new year first of all yeah
how do you celebrate the holidays tell
me what's the
what's the chalk tradition the chalk
tradition this year i went back up to
canada my mom is from germany so we do
german christmas which is
kind of the same but you just do
everything on the 24th wait so the
germans do theirs early
is that it's like german efficiency
how is like describe a german what are
the german traditions on christmas i
have no idea
um it's it's very similar but being
german traditionally and everything just
kind of sounds really
intense and dark and angry like if i
were to wish you
merry christmas it's really beautiful
conan
i surrender yeah that's what it sounds
like
it sounds terrible he comes early german
efficiency and so he comes on the sixth
and you leave out your shoes and he
comes what do you mean you leave out
your shoes
you leave all your shoes and he comes
along with this book of sins and sinners
and if you are
good then you get like weird german
candies that are they
taste like pepper and they're disgusting
and then what's a german what do you
mean a german
they fill your shoes which are sweaty
and gross
and then you put it in your mouth with a
peppery german candy
does it really taste like pepper um yeah
they're they're uh lip corn
and it's like like coriander and like i
don't even know cloves i don't even know
what's
sausage
and so then you eat this no you don't
yes well
unless you're bad then you get twigs
what you get they put twigs in your shoe
they put twigs in your shoe and then you
do it all over again what's wrong with
europe
they have such kooky you know whenever
they're like what's you know what's
whenever you ask them describe their
holiday it's always this
sadder more muted version of what we're
doing i'm sorry i'm gonna get letters
about that but it's true it's always
like we put out a hat
and then someone puts mud in it thanks
happy boxing day eat your warm bread and
go right to bed at four in the
afternoon it's always this kind of
meaner too
like another name for christmas eve in
german which is highly happened is um
is dickbaugh and um dick signed me up
i'm sorry i don't know what i'm doing
out here anymore it's the first day back
lay off
i told you you need to hold that
applause
dickball is not as fun as it sounds dick
means in german
and um so fat stomach is dikbo and what
it is it's a nice
holiday tradition for if you eat too
much on christmas eve
then all the demons will come and visit
you in the night
what is what is wrong with these people
i mean i know people will sometimes get
down on america but i think we got
christmas right
i really do i really i think it's about
toys and consumption
and you know plug it in and watch it
light up and
get drunk and do what you want you know
what i mean that's real usa usa
i say that's the way to do it i know
demons will get you in the night
have a twig here's mud in your hat
time for why let's get behind this
country we can do better
it's true it's true and all the yummy
things that you guys eat like
pumpkin pie instead of having you know
marzipan
in the shape of a potato they have
marzipan in the shape of a potato
yeah it's called matzipan catuflim which
is mars potatoes i don't know why
it's in the shape of a potato i never
either candies are even in the shapes of
things that no one wants
no child wants to eat i know we made a
delicious candy it's in the shape of a
radiator
[Laughter]
the shape of a bomb now uh you live in
los angeles
of course and uh you work in los angeles
what tell us what does sarah chalk do on
her down time like you've got some time
you like to relax
i like to hike with my dog um
that doesn't always work out so well i
was recently going for a hike with my
fiance and we and the dog and we stopped
to get
gas i think i just had like too much on
my mind i was too stressed out and i
wasn't
thinking clearly i realized we're low on
gas we pull over i go to pump the gas he
goes to get the water we get back in the
car we're driving away and he yells
stop the car and i have no idea what's
wrong and i slam on the brakes
and i end up looking in the rear view
mirror and i've like dragged and ripped
out the entire hose
and the nozzle and the pump and i'm like
driving away with the entire thing
trailing gasoline behind you that's
really funny you know someone's like wow
that's sierra tron
throws us what uh
wait do you rip i mean no what what so
you left and that's what i said so you
didn't take it out obviously and
it's not like it attacked your car uh i
think it did i took it out and attacked
me
so what are you doing that did the
police come do firemen come what happens
well i i felt really bad and and the guy
said to me um
it happens every two to three days i
mean i thought nobody did this except
for like movies like the jerk but
he said every two to three days someone
does this i don't know if he was just
being
nice or if every two to three no he was
being really nice
you're really pretty it happens every
day
hold me i've been around
for a while does klutzy stuff happen to
you a lot are you someone who
you know does things like that in
general is that unusual for you
it's starting to happen on a daily basis
i um
at scrubs i started to have to wear a
bib when we ate lunch all together
because i was staining my scrubs and
then i fell asleep on a sharpie and then
um it kind of got worse and more
embarrassing like the most recent one
was there was an extra
um at scrubs who i saw and i knew him he
went to film school with a good friend
of mine and so i knew him from parties
from a long time ago i hadn't seen him
went over to say hi
and uh i'm talking away and he
interrupts me and he's like
um i'm so sorry to
stop you i don't know how to tell you
this but your shirt is around your waist
and we were doing a night shoot and i
was wearing this like strapless shirt on
this mini skirt and it had just come
undone it was so cold out i didn't
realize it was like sitting
so i didn't know what to do like do you
like pull it up and keep telling your
story
or do you just like go to your dressing
room and start bawling
i think you just stand there and commit
to
i meant to do that first of all who's
this guy telling you i should
you should know you know
um it's terrible uh terrible yeah i'm
sorry uh that's so strange did you but
you see you got he's a friend he
all got over it yeah but i didn't know
him that well so it took me a long time
i didn't get over it i'm still not over
i'm still i
i think i probably have like this sewn
shut with like nine safety pins right
now so that it won't
fall down interesting i don't know what
that is what can go wrong
now you know what you needed after that
to cheer yourself up a potato shaped
marzipan
that's what you needed i'm going back to
my trailer for some sliced loads of
sleep
uh what are you working on what are you
working on next what's your next project
um i'm gonna do a mini series called
man-eater uh shiji lavonji grazer who
wrote the starter wife her other book is
man-eater so i'm gonna go be a man-eater
oh cool that's great yes you're shooting
that yet or no um we just had a meeting
for it a couple weeks ago and actually
um one of my new bosses said to me were
you at the corner of beverly in las vega
a few weeks ago
i was like i don't know why and she said
because i was
getting gas and i saw this cart
and then i saw this blonde girl get out
laughing her head off which isn't the
correct response though no no i've had
yeah to impress my new boss very good
that's me that's what you'll be working
with
well scrubs uh now on abc it premieres
tomorrow at nine on abc
uh always a really funny show and i'm
glad that show is still with us
sarah thank you so much really cool
having you on the show you're great
sarah chalk everybody we'll be right
back
and debbie