saturday night live medical sketches
round two you ready
[Music]
happy mother's day mommy oh
honey
this is so great i am so lucky to be
your mommy
the day you were born was the best day
of my life
what was it like
the day you were born
it was amazing
i never know why in like medical dramas
and movies and tv shows they have the
doctor underneath the drape like the
drape is elevated so you can see just so
everyone else doesn't have to see okay
only a few more centimeters and you'll
be ready that's true you do have to be
fully dilated in order to start the
delivery process how much bigger can the
whole get 10 centimeters i had a big
smile on my face the whole time
guys we're gonna have to perform an
episiotomy
oh it's like cutting the butthole but my
question is why are we performing an
episiotomy if the patient is not fully
dilated yet
were you scared why does it look like
that
we always make sure that one of the
nurses is watching the father if they
catch a visual of anything they
oftentimes get lightheaded need to pass
out and then she told me to give one
little push
a lot of women poop it's okay one push
is impressive that usually happens on
the second baby maybe third and you were
the most beautiful baby in the whole
world
[Music]
why does he look like that why is he
yellow is that normal
ugly generally if the baby's okay we
like to bring the baby to the chest the
mother's chest right away because we've
seen better outcomes with that
[Music]
[Applause]
facts big facts
[Applause]
my husband and i have been feeling a
little under the weather poor gary has
been sneezing all day if you ever
wondered why you sneeze it's because
your nasal passageways have small little
hairs on them yeah but those hairs are
very susceptible to chemical changes to
foreign substances dust allergens etc
and then your body releases histamines
which cause swelling bring inflammatory
cells cause your blood vessels to start
leaking mucus comes out and then your
body wants to expel all that reset your
entire nasal passageway and you expel a
lot a lot of gross stuff including viral
particles that's how viral illnesses
actually spread that's why we need to
call him ow
he said oh
that's why we need a cold medicine that
works and works fast many leading
also if you're gonna sneeze will at
least dab
and ha
that's why our family always chooses the
brand
you sound like a lunatic he's also
sneezing only through his mouth which is
kind of strange so try new one a day
extra strength nasal flu and don't get
slowed down by a little sickness
he's the one sneezing why is she
drinking it it's so bad with all these
over-the-counter medications for cold
and flu they just dump a ton of
ingredients active ingredients into
these things and people don't realize
that there's tylenol in some of them
acetaminophen benadryl in some of them
like nyquil diphenhydramine in others
like dayquil there's caffeine in there
and people don't know the entire
ingredients list they start taking other
things in addition to and it can become
quite problematic to the point they can
cause toxicity so be careful if you take
a combination over-the-counter medicine
for a cold or flu
from the makers of the fault in our
style oh we reacted to this comes an
all-new film about heartbreak
and teenage love against the odds
[Music]
i'm sticking with you no matter what
kind of cancer you have no i don't have
cancer right
i have ebola
i did not expect that term highly
contagious illness through bodily fluids
that is basically like a hemorrhagic
fever that you get a fever and then you
have a blood clotting disorder that
causes you to bleed internally and
that's why you see movies where like
people are bleeding outside their nose
and their ears that's ebola can you hear
me you're so far away
i'm good i'm still trying to piece
together why she has an oxygen tank if
she has ebola there's a bigger problem
going on than the need for nasal cannula
oxygen according to the cdc cases of the
sexually transmitted diseases chlamydia
syphilis and gonorrhea are all at all
time highs because of dating apps with
more on this obviously is pete davidson
i really want to know if that's true i
haven't heard recent statistics on it
but yeah barrier protection is the way
to go i don't see the problem colin
these are all uh things that you can
cure with a shot
i don't know how this is even new really
like i don't know i understand people
can be worried about stds you know i get
tested all the time because you know i
look like i have all of them well first
of all everyone that's sexually active
should be getting screened for stis not
stds while yes they are treatable with
antibiotics either oral or injection you
need to know that the more often you end
up treating these bacterial illnesses
specifically gonorrhea chlamydia
syphilis the more likely they are to
become super stis where they are
resistant to the antibiotics that we
have and then we can no longer cure them
mr p davidson i'm saying to people like
you should you know wear you know wear a
condom but since you won't
you know
call your doctor and get antibiotics no
get screened abstinence protection get
screened jake and i rode our bikes to
target to buy mario one and we rode so
fast home we're like passing cars like
move people we gotta play mario
never peddle fast yeah well maybe too
fast cause jake got like major air off
this little jump off and when he hit the
ground he missed the seat and he landed
with all his weight onto the crossbar
and he like demolished his nuts
i didn't demolish him yeah you did dude
they popped i think what they mean is
ruptured testicular rupture is the thing
at times the damage could be so bad that
you need a full removal of the testicle
testicular trauma requires a urologist a
surgeon right away stat they definitely
pop dude we heard them pop dude and the
reason they quote-unquote pop is because
they're actually largely spongy so they
don't normally pop but if you get them
crushed in between whatever hard surface
you're landing on and your pubic bone
that's when the trauma can get so bad
that they can rupture they popped they
did okay
point is mario's an amazing game and you
could live a completely normal life and
be able to procreate with a single
testicle we played mario 3 nonstop we
were mario maniacs
we played every day except the days uh
jake had physical therapy to relearn how
to pee
wasn't a big deal it kind of was uh jake
now pees through a small hole just below
his belly button so he has to lie
horizontally i'm pretty sure he would
have a super pubic catheter they insert
a catheter directly into your bladder
not plank on the toilet
life special moments are meant to be
enjoyed not spent worrying about your
irritable bowel syndrome the funny thing
is i already knew it was a fake pharma
ad just because of the music and the vo
i'll be right back but ryan's solo is
coming up it can strike at any time all
right irritable bowel syndrome is
actually a problematic condition because
those who have it struggle with it and
also struggle getting it diagnosed
because oftentimes they'll go to doctors
and they'll get scammed they'll get
blood tests done and nothing shows up
and it's really a clinical diagnosis
based on subjective criteria what the
patient is saying and the symptoms that
they're experiencing so a lot of doctors
will say oh your cat scans good you're
good to go bye but that's not the
end-all be-all of medicine we have to
talk to the patient too and for ibs
there's really three types that we can
diagnose one is diarrhea predominant
second is constipation predominant and
third is mixed it's not an easy
condition and because of the stigma that
exists around it and the poor
misunderstanding that exists around it
it makes it even harder so you can enjoy
more of life's special moments oh my god
who did this consult your doctor before
use side effects may include something
wrong with you you sick son of a beauty
side effects man you just lit up the
turtle you just lick the whole damn
thing up side effects i have kids and by
the way ibs patients who have ibs have
normal poops i mean maybe there's
diarrhea there's constipation but the
smell shouldn't really change also the
medications that do exist for ibs are
targeted at the cholinergic system in
terms of slowing down the gut decreasing
spasms and the pain that can be
associated with ibs sometimes probiotics
are thrown in there but they're not as
evidence-based as i'd like for them to
be there's actually even some
antibiotics that have been used for ibs
symptoms and flare-ups we now return to
the thrilling conclusion of gen z
hospital oh my god is this going to be
dixie dimiglio's show i feel like it's
going to be dixie damilia's show i'm so
pressed right now bro
don't be impressed the doctor will be in
shortly bro dead ass
yo if this doctor keeps leaving us on
red he's gonna catch hands on gang this
reminds me of um the girl from dr phil
test me outside how about that doctor
please tell us what's up with our bestie
is that elon musk y'all might want to
sit down what i have to say right now
might be a little cringe elon i'm pretty
sure everything you say slash tweet
becomes cringe bestie's going to be okay
right
i'm sorry but uh at this particular time
that's looking like a cap
bro can we see her
unfortunately not right now bro
you know the vibes
but i promise if anything changes i'll
pull up this is so funny to hear because
i'm so used to having these
conversations in such different
languages i can see how a older doctor
trying to sound hip could just come off
so cringy it's painful facts no postal
mail is that what the kids say i'm a hip
i'm cool which your kid cool kids up to
hey guys
so
big guys
while i was out here chopping up with
you your bestie took a turn for the
worst
bro
you captain
unfortunately no cap she's literally
dead
this is supreme urn oh my god all right
let's get it picked come on crowded
that's actually the worst thing i think
of influencer culture is like taking
selfies at the wrong time and before i
used to think like oh we're just not
understanding this is how gen z
expresses themselves sometimes it's a
really wrong time they started taking
selfies at auschwitz with like smiles
and all this and i was like okay there's
limits and i think that's the limit
the other snl commercials were hilarious
to click here to check that out as
always stay happy and healthy the rock
nuva bling the stuff in this video wow