The Course is really teaching us,
Spirit is teaching us,
that we have to bring the illusions to the Truth.
You can’t bring God, Jesus, the Holy Spirit, into this world.
You can’t say “I have a crazy life, would you please fix it?"
It’s more like the Spirit is saying, “Bring everything you believe about your life and
this world, and time and space back to me and it will disappear."
Bring all of your crazy beliefs to the Light and you will see it was just your imagination."
It was just this dark dragon, this crazy, tiny, mad idea you had buried and kept hidden,
and then you kept trying to fix it in form.
You’ve been trying to smooth it over, make it work out.
“It’s going to get better, I’ll just give it one more try,”
and after 25 years of "one more try", you’re all stressed out and anxious.
It’s just been false empathy, and the Holy Spirit is basically saying, “Come to
me, lets do this with true empathy, lets bring the darkness to the light."
So, I really feel that both what played out before, and in the dream that the Bible had taught us,
“Let your yea be yea and your nay be nay.”
And for some of us we have associated “yes” with God, and “no” as a bad word.
But actually not so to the Holy Spirit.
If you authentically go on this journey you’re going to end up having the Holy Spirit say
"no" to a lot of things.
I’ve had to say "no" a lot in this parable, and I could feel the joy of the presence of
the Spirit behind the no’s.
It wasn’t a no in the sense of dismissal, there was no sense of rejection,
there was no sense of putting down or wrong doing.
I remember the first time I started practicing with this was years ago when I would be praying,
meditating,
I’d be getting into these deep mystical states and my mother would come and invite
me to all kinds of different things,
and the way the Spirit would come out would be, “Thank you so much for asking me.”
or, "Thank you so much for including me, thank you so much for inviting me."
The graciousness of the Spirit was always there with a thank you,
and “No, I don’t think I’m going to be coming."
Or sometimes it would even be, “I’ll just have to be in the moment."
Because I was living more in the moment instead of doing so much planning.
That was the old way, everything was planned out days, and weeks, and months in advance.
I was allowing myself to be more spontaneous and just let the Spirit guide me moment by
moment,
which seemed to be reflected back as just, “Come on, just give me a yes or no."
Sometimes I would have to say, “I will have to see," and leave it at that, and stay
in the strength of that.
And sometimes when the time came I would go or not go.
I really started to become 100% intuitive.
100% in alignment with Spirit.
So that took away all of the conflict.
But, I did go through what you're describing where,
I followed what I truly felt was in my heart,
and then I would see the role of the accuser rear up.
I would see fear, doubt, guilt, all these accusations.
We’re all going to have to walk through it, we just have to be able to see all that.
When we really get into the strength of choosing with the Spirit there’s nothing that can
threaten us at all.
The fear leaves.
Now I live in just a completely fearless life.
There’s just no fear whatsoever,
but it’s just been allowing all the darkness to come up and say,
“I’m not going to hide and protect it.
I’m not going to use any kind of defense mechanisms.
I’m not going to stuff it down anymore.
I’m just going to let it fully come up."
And really come and go; go back to the Light.