[Dunk] YouTube comments can be a curse and a blessing.
Uh... I think in my case...
Uh... I really have to be appreciative!
You guys really are the best fans a guy could ever have!
and I love that you can just type in "Knack" on YouTube,
no matter what video you click on, there's gonna be you guys in there going:
"KNACK 2, BABY!"
"KNACK IS BACK, BA-!"
No matter what you guys are saying,
I want you to know that I'm always thankful for your comments.
That being said...
By using math
we can actually deduce
that only 0.7 percent of the world's population is actually subscribed to my channel.
Which is terrifying!
This means that more than 99% of people
are completely fucking brain-dead!
And sometimes, these mole people sneak into the comments and say some dumbass shit.
Like this: [He starts reading comments]
"This Assassin's creed's actually good"
"When you talk all high and mighty on a shitty game like Cuphead"
"and prefer it over this"
"or a game like Uncharted"
"your view and opinion is invalid."
"Especially when your channel is trying to be funny"
"TEYING being the key word." [He made a typo]
"I want bookworm adventures deluxe."
Uh... You know...
I...
Mayb-...
I don't know!
"If E3 is so great, why isn't there an E4 yet?"
This is a great question!
Uh... I think what it really boils down to is...
You know, Reggy is just scared. [Reggie Fils-Aimé]
"E3 described in one shortened word..."
"Social"
"Social Justice"
"Social Justice Warrior."
"The funniest video I seen so far."
"Dunkey's videos just aren't very entertaining-."
Who do I believe?
Who's- Who's telling me the truth?
"I would rate this video as the worst-"
God!
Uh...
Fuck!
Wait a minute!
Best YouTube ever?
Oh f-!
Shit!
Wait a minute!
I'm back in the game, baby!
[Laughs]
Here we g-!
Damn it!
"Not both of Armand's parents were white. Kappa"
I want to believe...
that this guy is trolling out here... [Game Critics video]
But math says that he is not.
Math says that this guy actually believes
he is making a grand revelation by telling us that
Armond White
...pictured here...
That perhaps both of his biological parents are not white.
Uh, thank you, Mairin, for bringing this to my attention.
"This is a rejected Adult Swim smash parody."
"Dunkey can't do fighting games well."
D-
Does he thinks that I make the video games?
in the- in my videos?
I don't make the games!
Wait a minute...
Yes, I do actually.
"videogamedunkey official"
That's how you know it's me
He says: "Enjoy my New Game in Play Store"
"Gamename: Snake nuice"
"rate it with 5 stars rating."
"I love you videogamedunkey"
"I love all your video"
"I just rate your game with 5 stars, as you said."
It's so funny!"
"Ha ha ha!"
"You're so amazing dunkey."
"I love all your game. I just rate your game with 5 stars."
"Thank you for the fun."
"Thank you my lovers. I appreciate your support. Love you." [Laughing]
Uh...
Uh-oh!
"You're not fooling anybody"
"Yes, bro"
[Laughs hard]
"You need to make a video on E3 2018."
"Dude, any criticism at all?"
"All you did was criticize the level design and nothing else."
"Your review is dumb."
"Let me tell you why you couldn't find value in this game"
"It's because", and I quote, "You are bloody old now"
"Who is craving to have his good old days of Banjo-Kazooie"
"Guess what"
"Go to your rest bed now!"
"Your days to play games and appreciate them are over."
I'm sorry, guys...
I'm so- I-
I'll- I'll stop playing...
"Dinkus you casul stop fat rolling"
A lot of people took issue with how I was rolling in Dark Souls
to which I say...
What is this?
Baby O'clock?
Why don't I just turn fucking damage off altogether if I'm just gonna have a hundred frames of invincibility on every roll?
"Tobuscuslover46 love u tobuscus" says: [Laughing]
"Tobuscus really wouldn't struggle like you did"
Alright
Thankfully, my man Ryan had my back
reminding the people that I'm playing this game with a USB steering wheel.
Thank you, Ryan!
"You pretty much criticize any game that isn't Nintendo"
...FUCKING STUPID GAME! (Right at the beginning of his Splatoon 2 video)
"No wonder they didn't send you a copy"
"your reviews are a joke."
Boom!
Miles comes in with the voice of reason
Uh... I- D-
I- I gave the game a 4 out of 5.
I think- I consider it, one of the best games on the PS4.
I don't know what the fuck this dude is upset about, but...
Out of nowhere...
"Yes!"
"That's why he's commenting on this!"
"Aaaaaaaaaaaaagh!"
"People who say the dumbest shit ever make me want to kill myself"
"Wow! This game is such a rip-off of Bookworm Adventures Deluxe"
"I think you-"
Get the fuck outta here!
You guy-
"Gotta say, Bumbler Interactive isn't what it used to be"
Aba...
You're playing a dangerous game by saying that, man!
You-
B- Oh! Boom! And there it is!
Bumbler Interactive...
"No u"
in, in, in one fell swoop.
A man's YouTube comment career is ended!
I'm sorry, Aba. But you should have known better!
Your parents should have known better and now you have to leave.
I'm sorry!
"I never realized dunkey was so verbose and erudite."
[Starts typing]
Oh! Thank you, George!
"Ew! Praising companies on exclusives? A very unhealthy practice."
"Bravo!"
What the fuck?
Yes
Uh...
Developers create exclusives to move hardware
and the more they compete...
the better off we, the consumers, will be.
It would be nice to live in the Utopian society,
where all games were released on every console
and they weren't even created with any financial incentive in mind,
but that's not real life!
So
You're a dumb-dumb!
"Because you are unable to play this game."
"You are too kid to play this legendary game."
"Grow up, kid!"
"May God give you some brain in your dumb ass like head."
"You can't enjoy the game because your nostalgia glasses are on too tight."
Wow, see?
I didn't even realize that by having them on too tight
It actually decreases the quality of a modern game, like Yooka-Laylee.
It should really say that on the box somewhere!
"Ok, Dunkey!"
"But this is kind of bandwagoning and not giving it much of a chance."
"A lot of these bugs were Dunkey's fault, and not the game."
[A clock ticking]
"Now that I think about it, again."
"It was probably the game."
"Why do you sound like a 70-year-old black man?!"
Uh... this is an easy one, guys
It is because I am actually a 90-year-old
BLACK GRANDMA!
"Super Mario Galaxy..."
"You can be a bee"
"Okay, I guess"
"Super Mario Odyssey..."
"You can be a tree!"
"Nintendo really outdid-" [Laughs]
"Sonic Unleashed is good"
...
"I feel like I'm the only person in the world that actually like Sonic Forces more than Mania."
No. That's not true!
There's a guy on YouTube I saw...
[Guy on YouTube] "Sonic Forces is better than Sonic Mania!"
"That is my genuine opinion..."
[Dunk] Ok, guys!
One more comment and then, I'm done!
Beef Stew s...
No. We're not doing that!
Troy24 says:
"This isn't Bookwork Ad-!"
God!
It's not even him!
[OUTRO] ♪ Tekken 4 OST: Kitsch ♪