You know what doesn’t pair well with being half-naked with your feet in stirrups and
about to get a pap smear? Slut-shaming. Or really anything. Even just personal questions can be awkward.
When I asked Stuff Mom Never Told You fans on social media whether they’d ever experienced
slut-shaming at the gyno, I got back more stories than free birth control samples at
a planned parent hood. Meaning I got a lot. Kristen with a ‘K’ wrote, ‘I was slut-shamed
by my first gyno, a man who had posters of young hunks on the ceiling to help quote “lube
up” and a female nurse in college who picked my brain for 45 minutes because she didn’t
understand how lesbian sex worked without using props.’ Amy said, ‘After a decade
of no boyfriends I asked mine for birth control. My gyno was shocked and asked if I was sure
I needed it.’ Diana said, ‘When I was 18 I saw a pediatrician for the last time.
I brought up birth control because I had terrible acne and she said, “Your skin looks fine
to me. And you shouldn’t be having sex.”’Alyssa wrote, ‘I always used to feel compelled
to lie to one of the doctors at my university. He would praise women so excessively for not
being promiscuous I was too afraid to be honest about my sexual activity and face the potential
backlash from him.’ Pearl wrote, ‘Yes I’ve been slut-shamed and it was my first
visit to a gynecologist ever. When she asked me if I’d even had sex and I said yes, she
looked back down your notes and said, “And you’re not married?” and proceeded to
give me the most painful pelvic exam I have ever had.’ Stephanie wrote, ‘A gyno refused
to insert an IUD because I was no longer married. He assumed not being married meant I would
be having unprotected sex and contract an STD which carries higher risk for pelvic inflammatory
disease when you have an IUD. Newsflash: married people tend to have more unprotected sex than
single people and when a partner cheats, can get STDs.’ Aly wrote, ‘I went for my first
appointment at my new gynecologist’s office and she said she was a little concerned about
some cervical swelling. She then said, “It’s probably HPV so either you or your husband
is sleeping around.”’ Kylie wrote, ‘Yes. When I was 13 my doctor assumed I was pregnant
and that was why I wasn’t having a period and didn’t believe I wasn’t sexually active.
Turns out I have polycystic ovarian syndrome. Thanks doctor.’ Sierra said, ‘I wanted
to go on the mini-pill and my then general practitioner said I couldn’t and that quote,
“Why do you need to go on it? Guys don’t sleep with fat girls.”’ Teresa said, ‘My
gyno judged me as irresponsible for using condoms in between visits to renew my birth
control prescription. She was afraid I was having so much sex essentially without her
permission.’ Kara wrote, ‘I had one who laughed and whispered and cracked jokes with
her assistant that she would have to get an extra large speculum.’ Ellie said, ‘My
current doctor asked what my son thought of my tattoos, piercings and lifestyle in general.
I told him that my son doesn’t need all of those details since he hasn’t been involved
with my reproductive system for 15 years.’ Kaylee said, ‘I went in for intermittent
vulva pain I was experiencing and was basically told I probably had herpes they couldn’t
detect because sex will always give you herpes. It was a mild bacterial infection and no big
deal.’ Adrian said, ‘I needed an IUD removed because it was causing problems. When my doctor
talked about supplemental birth control I told her I didn’t need it because I wasn’t
active sexually. Through the paper thin doors I heard her mock me to her nurses asking why
I thought I could lie to her and she will find it funny when I come back knocked up.
I didn’t go back and no I didn’t end up knocked up.’ Amy said, ‘The doctor asked,
“Are you sexually active?” and I responded with a, “Yes”. Then she laughed and told
me I didn’t have to lie.’ Crista said, ‘I’ve been seeing the same general practitioner
since I was born and when she gave me a test to test for endometriosis it came up that
I was a lesbian and engaged to my girlfriend. She immediately told me health advice for
quote, “when I get over that phase and start having real sex.”’ Jesse wrote, ‘I just
saw my family doctor for bad heartburn only to get a lecture about safe-sex and Jesus
talk. That was the last time I saw her.’ Patricia said, ‘I went to the doctor for
an exam after experiencing a trauma. I waited a while to see the doctor but started panicking
a week or so later and made an emergency appointment. She made me feel stupid about the whole thing.
The first therapist I saw was similar and both made me feel ashamed and like I was in
the wrong.’ Katelyn wrote, ‘After I found out my boyfriend cheated on me while we were
together, I did the responsible thing and went to get checked for STDs. The CNA who
walked me to my room was fine until I told him what I was there for and then I got the
old save it for someone special/no one will buy the cow if they can get the milk for free
speech.’ Jessica said, ‘A male gyno told me that he did not agree with prescribing
birth control outside of marriage. Instead he judgmentally advised abstinence.’ So
to any medical students, OBGYNs or nurse practitioners watching I implore you, for the sake of women’s
health stop the slut-shaming at the gyno. I mean really it’s the least you can do
in exchange for us having to put our feet in stirrups, be vaginally probed and then
have someone smush around our boobs looking for cancer. You know?