- We need to get under a tree or something, and fast.
- Or what?
I'm in iron armor.
Nothing can hurt me.
(thunder cracks)
(chimes shimmer)
(harp music)
- You're going to get us all killed.
- I'm outta here.
- This party is whack.
- No, Wolfgang Van Halen, don't leave.
Are you with us?
- I got nothing better to do.
- Chick, this is your fault.
You let me go out in this armor.
- Seriously?
(wolf barks)
Hey, I found the pig's scent!
(dogs sniffing)
- Shh, go on, move along!
- Have you seen her friend?
- He's a pig.
Loves carrots.
- That's not very descriptive.
He's pink and he looks like a pig.
- Wow, much better.
- You mean the jerk pig who embarrassed me
in front of all my friends?
- Sounds just like him.
- He went into the jungle after wrestling me
and taking all my carrots.
How am I supposed to feed my family now?
- Well, maybe you should think about that
before losing next time.
Wolf pack move out.
(arrow twangs)
(skeleton laughs) (wolves growling)
- I can help!
- Let the wolves do their job, Stan.
Don't get in the way.
- I'll have you know, my marksmanship
has been called adequate.
(chimes shimmer)
- Three down, three to go.
(wolf sniffing)
- Ew.
I smell llamas.
- That's weird.
Why would llamas be in the jungle?
- Whatever the reason I can't track the pig
with all this nasty llama smell everywhere.
- Dear Stan.
It is I, your arch-nemesis.
All you have stolen your prized pig.
You will never retrieve it in time to save its life.
Maybe think twice about stealing from others.
Love your arch-nemesis.
- I wonder who my arch-nemesis could be.
Yeah, I know, but who could they be?
- You know what?
I guess we'll never know who hates you
for stealing from them and smells like llamas.
- Yeah, I guess it'll just be another of life's mysteries.
(wolf barking)
- I found the Wandering Trader's trail!
- Wow, the Wandering Trader?
I can't believe he still has beef with me.
- Wolfgang van Halen.
You came back!
- I feel like I left on bad terms.
I want to rejoin the band, I mean, gang.
- I hate wolves, but for some reason I can't hate you.
(stalactite cracks)
- All right, Wolfgang gang.
Roll out!
Or into the cave I suppose.
(grass crunching)
- Wandering Trader.
We would like Porkchop back.
Please.
- Dumb llama man!
Give us back our pig.
(wolves growling)
- Well, well, well.
It looks like you found me just in time
to watch your darling little pig take a little swim.
- Unhand me!
- Too bad he made the wrong friends.
Oh no.
(Wandering Traveler yelling)
(fire sizzles)
- Aw man, I loved her.
(spit thudding)
- Wait, you'll hit Ghost.
- No, no I won't.
Dang it!
- Now I will defeat you!
Ah, boo!
- That's what you get for being a jerk.
- Come on boy. We can heal you.
You'll you'll be okay.
- Let me go.
I want to be with the Wolfgang gang.
- I want to frolic the fields of the aether with my friends.
Let me go.
- Then go, my friend, for you were a good boy.
The best boy.
- Harsh. Real harsh.
- Did Ghost say something about the aether?
- Yeah, do either of you know what that is?
- Nope.
- Hmm, weird.
- Don't worry, my angels.
Stan will pay for this, for all of this!
(Wandering Traveler laughing)
- No.
No!
- Magnificent.
- No!
I don't want some weird lady and a baby Porkchop.
I want something imposing!
Too scary.
- What's that horrible noise?
(window squeaking)
- What's your damage, man?
That's single pane window glass.
Do you know how far I had to go to find sand?
- I have come to divvy out your doom.
- Excuse me, divvy?
This isn't some bizarre inheritance scam, is it?
(Wandering Travel whistles)
- I don't like the looks of this.
- Oh, what are you going to do?
Have the llamas spitball me to death?
- Yep.
- Spitballed to death.
- Fire!
(slide whistle descends)
- Ha! You'll never get me in here.
Cut that out.
- Make me.
- Well, this has taken an expectedly immature turn.
Wake me up when they come to a resolution.
- What's it going to take to get you off my property
and out of my life?
- Your demise.
- Okay, but I don't like that answer.
- Couldn't we buy something from you?
- Porkchop, no!
We all know his wares are worthless.
Fine. What do you have to purchase?
- Well, I can't pass up a trade no matter how vile, rude,
disagreeable, idiotic, cruel, inconsiderate, dumb--
- I get it.
You hate me.
- But I'd be willing to sell to you.
If you have the emeralds, I have ferns, a pink tulip,
pink dye, a nautilus shell, glowstone, leaves, cactus--
- Wait, what was that last line?
- Cactus.
- No, the other.
- Leaves? - Glowstone.
You sell glowstone?
- It's a rare item that sells quick.
- I can get a glow stone in the Nether
and really it's not that useful.
(Porkchop grunts)
Besides in potions, of course.
- And to access the aether.
I'm surprised--
- The aether?
That's a myth.
- It's definitely a mod,
but who cares about non-official stuff?
- Oh no, it's real.
I've been there myself.
Saw the flying bunnies and had to run from a Valkyrie.
- Tell me how to get there.
- I don't know, Stanthony.
This sounds pretty dangerous.
Maybe we should gather tools, enchant a diamond sword or,
- (laughs) Normal tools don't work in the aether.
You're better off leaving them and taking a water bucket.
- Ominous.
Very ominous.
I like it.
- How do we get there?
- And aether portal made of glowstone.
- Shut up and take my emeralds.
(Stan yells)
(upbeat music) (llamas cheer)
- My back!
Oh God, my back hurts so bad.
Please tell me I can sue somebody.
- Call off your goons.
- Stand down.
(llamas moan)
- I'll buy all your glowstone,
if you agree to a forever truce.
- A truce, it is.
That'll be 128 emeralds, please.
- How much is just 14 glowstones?
- 28 Emeralds?
- Deal.
All right, now what?
- Pour a bucket of water on an inside corner
and be prepared for a whole new world of adventure.
- Wow, I honestly thought this was gonna be
a Jack and the Beanstalk situation
where I'd have to kill you for lying to me.
- The beans work in the story, though.
- Still, I don't know.
Griefing is fun, wouldn't you agree?
Well bye, I guess.
Kind of rude.
Who's ready for something new?
- Whatever.
- I'm ready.
Bye, Overworld.
We may never return.
- And tada, the aether.
- Or not.
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(upbeat light music)