(phone chimes)
(phone blips)
(phone boops)
(clock ticking)
(bird coos)
(slurps)
(both moaning)
Hmm? Hey!
(jingle plays on TV)
This morning, we learned that the only lady politician
was hit by a train.
The prime minister learned of the news on live telecast.
Later, when asked to clarify his response,
he told reporters, "I did not chuckle.
I was choking on a pecan."
MALE NARRATOR: Tyrannosaurus rex,
best known for his fearsome jaws
and appearances on the silver screen,
may have had a gentle side too.
The formidable predator may, counter to popular belief,
in fact have been a tender lover,
using his extra-sensitive snout
to kiss his partner
and his seemingly useless little arms
to tickle and caress her
in tender, precopulatory play.
(exhales)
NARRATOR: Archaeologists all around the world
stumble upon skeletons of these terrible lizards,
revealing heated sexual positions
of passionate prehistoric lovemaking.
Looking at some of those fossils may suggest
these extraordinary creatures
knew about the deadly asteroid
that was on a collision course with the Earth
and used their last moments
for some sweet, sweet sexual intercourse.
(ribbits)
For millions of years,
these giants dominated the seas,
swayed the skies, and ruled the lands.
Females were ravenous predators,
fueled by their powerful instincts
to hunt and reproduce.
Those girls got what they wanted.
These astounding beasts came in all shapes and sizes.
They proudly presented their sensual bodies,
covered in scales and feathers like expensive jewelry.
Life on the harsh landscapes of the Mesozoic era was tough,
but guess what.
So were these women.
The fire in their eyes wasn't just a reflection
of the blazing rock that lit up the night sky
before hitting the planet
and wiping out all of them at once.
It was the flaring fire
of their inner powerful sex appeal
that hypnotized all who looked
into their seductive lizard eyes.
(hypnotic music)
♪ ♪
(ominous music)
♪ ♪
(roars)
(panting)
Sharon, will you accept this rose?
Oh, my God, yes. Yes.
Absolutely. (laughs)
(growls)
(phone blips)
(growls)
(roars)
(whimpers)
-(smooches) -Oh.
Hmm.
(roars)
(stomping)
(metallic crash)
(stomping fades)
(tires screeching)
(vehicle crashes, glass shatters)
-(people screaming) -(roaring)
(glass shatters)
(explosion booms)
FROG: These hunters are capable of migrating
hundreds of miles to harvest the right specimen
to fulfill their sexual desires.
Their highly sensitive smell and hearing serves
as some sort of biological compass,
directing them to the perfect mate.
When stalking, females keep below the skyline,
running through silky, warm summer nights,
searching for the heavy scent of testosterone in the air.
Inevitably, there will be a chase,
and pleasure will follow.
(soft music)
(frog ribbits)