SCP-SPOOKY-J A Veteran of the SkeletonWar - object class spooklid
Item #: SCP-SPOOKY-J
Object Class: Spooklid
Spooky Containment Procedures: SCP-SPOOKY-J cannot be faithfully contained due to the
nature of its being.
In the event that SCP-SPOOKY-J manifests outside of its containment chamber it is to be escorted
back to its chamber and recontained.
SCP-SPOOKY-J's containment chamber is a standard humanoid containment chamber with a single-lock
security door to ensure simple recontainment.
Description: SCP-SPOOKY-J is visually identical to a typical human skeleton standing 1.72
meters in height and weighing 5.44 kilograms.
The skull, face, and jaw structure of SCP-SPOOKY-J is completely flexible and grants it the ability
to make a range of facial expressions despite its lack of muscles or flesh.
As well, SCP-SPOOKY-J is capable of vocalization and sapient thought.
SCP-SPOOKY-J is capable of vanishing and manifesting at will to any location within 66.6 meters
from its original position during the month of any major commercial holiday.
Individuals in the location of SCP-SPOOKY-J's manifestation often report a subtle rattling
noise originating somewhere behind them.
Individuals exposed to SCP-SPOOKY-J and its anomalous effects are to be administered class-A
amnestics prior to recontainment of the entity.
When interacting with living human subjects, SCP-SPOOKY-J will typically display verbally
aggressive behavior often in the form of insults and challenges to physical altercations.
Despite this behavior, SCP-SPOOKY-J has yet to seriously or purposefully injure a living
subject out of observable malice.
SCP-SPOOKY-J displays an anomalous understanding of individual subjects' mothers and sisters
where these relations are applicable.
Entry Incident 10/28/2016
The following incident took place between Dr. Randy M. Filler and SCP-SPOOKY-J prior
to a re-containment incident.
Dr. Filler: WHAT THE FUCK.
AGAIN?
SCP-SPOOKY-J YOU INSUFFERABLE FUCK, STAY THE FUCK IN YOUR CHAMBER BEFORE I BEAT YOUR SORRY
ASS!
SCP-SPOOKY-J: YOU CAN'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO YOU SKIN SACK, DAVY BONES DOES AS HE PLEASES!
Dr. Filler: DO YOU EVEN CARE ANYMORE?
THIS IS WHY NOBODY VISITS YOU ANYMORE JESUS YOU'RE SO FUCKING ANNOYING.
SCP-SPOOKY-J: SHUT YOUR DONG SLOPPER, FUCKBOY!
YOU CAN'T RATTLE THESE BONES, YOU CAN'T RUSTLE THESE JIMMIES!
Dr. Filler: SPOOKY-J IF YOU KEEP THIS SHIT UP I'M GOING TO CALL SECURITY DOWN HERE AND
GET YOU TERMINATED IF YOU DON'T-
SCP-SPOOKY-J: YOU'RE GOING TO WHAT, KILL ME?
I'LL FUCK YOU UP, BITCH!
THEN I'LL FUCK YOUR MOTHER!
I'LL NOSCOPE YOU, I SWEAR TO GOD.
Dr. Filler: WHY DO YOU HAVE TO DO THIS EVERY YEAR, JESUS YOU ABSOLUTE TWAT WAFFLE.
SCP-SPOOKY-J: SUCK MY SKELEBALLS!
SCP-SPOOKY-J and Dr. Filler proceeded to argue for several minutes before Dr. Filler was
removed from the observation room and dismissed from active duty in Site-12, and has been
placed on paid leave.
Entry Incident 11/23/2016
SCP-SPOOKY-J appeared in the cafeteria of Site-12 and began to collect all of the uneaten
holiday food into several trash bags, before disappearing from staff perception.
It then appeared in the quarters of Dr. Randy M. Filler, and smeared cranberry sauce across
the surface of his desk before consuming large amounts of bread stuffing.
SCP-SPOOKY-J: IT'S THANKSGIVING AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
Dr. Filler: You asshole!
You ruined my novel!
SCP-SPOOKY-J continues to consume excessive amounts of stuffing where it exits SCP-SPOOKY-J's
body through its rib cage and is now coating the floor.
Dr. Filler: Why are you doing this?!
You don't even have a stomach you fuckwit!
SCP-SPOOKY-J: I DO IT BECAUSE I LOVE YOU DAD!
SCP-SPOOKY-J throws the rest of the bag at the wall where it bursts open above Dr. Filler's
bed and proceeds to run out of the room before security can arrive.
Dr. Filler has hence requested a transfer to another site.
Request pending.
Entry Incident 12/24-25/2016
19:50 SCP-SPOOKY-J exits its containment chamber undetected.
20:30 The hub caps from all vehicles in Site-12's staff garage go missing and are not found
for several hours.
23:14 Dozens of large gift-wrapped boxes appear in the common area of Site-12 while the room
is vacated.
01:10 SCP-SPOOKY-J reappears in its containment chamber displaying erratic excited behavior.
It is wearing a green Santa hat at this time.
07:50 An announcement is made that staff vehicles have been vandalized, and on-site personnel
display warranted agitation.
10:35 Various personnel enter the common area of Site-12 and discover the gift-wrapped boxes.
On the wall farthest from the doorway the statement "Merry Christmas fuckboys" is painted
in expired gravy.
10:55 All gift-wrapped presents are opened by an EOD team and are all discovered to contain
the stolen hub caps from the staff garage.
A request has been submitted to the administrative board on the topic of the termination and
archival of SCP-SPOOKY-J to prevent future nuisances and possible hazards to Site-12.
Entry Incident 02/14/2017
Dr. Randy M. Filler received an anonymous package containing a human tibia, and a letter,
reading:
"This Valentine's Day, I'd like to be your fuckboy.
From, Yours Spookily."
Contents of the package have been moved to forensic storage.
Dr. Filler has requested an indeterminate leave of absence after receiving this package.
Request, again, denied.