[Music]
house in Los Angeles broken I'm Andy
Richter tonight Adam Sandler now hey
Conan O'Brien here and yes that was the
least professional opening I've ever
done for a TV show I just came in and
sat down on a stool and here's the
unbelievable part I've been practicing
that move for two weeks
pretty good right all right I gotta
start by telling you two things first
I'm coming to you from my home in Los
Angeles and number two please
do not worry about me I'm fine I'm
perfectly healthy this is just the way I
look okay that's out of the way on with
the show a lot to talk about first of
all I know there's a lot of stuff going
on out there so a lot of news 24 hour
news telling you what to do what not to
do what to look out for information you
must know let me assure you something
these shows we're going to do are going
to tell you nothing they will contain no
information none whatsoever
you'll probably be stupider after you
see these shows than you were before I'm
just telling you up front all I can
promise you is this will be a highly
unprofessional endeavor
night after night we'll make mistakes
we'll do the best we can and we'll move
forward now you saw that the top of our
show was a little different we featured
everyone on our staff who's working very
hard from home remotely to make this
show happen that is the silver lining of
this crisis is I'm learning just how
much I depend on everyone around me wife
children family friends staff and my
hats off to all of them but my staff has
done an amazing job and helping me do
this remotely from home we have terrific
terrific shows in store for you
I'm just saying that cuz that's muscle
memory I don't know if that's true but
that's what you're supposed to say in
show businesses we've got some terrific
shows coming up what I can tell you is
some really great people have stepped
forward to help us out tonight Adam
Sandler is going to be lending a hand a
good old friend and I'll be talking to
him from his home and throughout the
coming weeks we'll be talking to lots of
people and I think having a lot of fun
will also be trying a lot of really
inane foolish comedy and do with it what
you will and if you don't like it
remember there's always Netflix
[Laughter]
shouldn't have said that
mistake all I can promise you is
silliness good cheer and bad lighting
that you're gonna get in spades now
let's start the show by getting to my
good friend Andy Richter because we're
all looking for continuity normalcy my
days usually start with Andy so I
thought I'd record a little chat with
him I did that earlier today and ladies
and gentlemen here's my pal Andy Richter
and now I'm gonna push this button which
my son taught me to do okay we're here
with Andy Richter Andy's coming to us
from his Burbank there he is yeah I
needed to push something what are you in
your Blair Witch cabin
Zingo as anybody in your household
gotten Eber scare or anything nope I had
one a few nights ago
where I had like a 99 degree temperature
and I was like oh but turned out it was
from my testicle surgery never let a
doctor near your testicles ah
yesterday he worked on for 15 minutes
yeah and it wasn't even a medical
procedure oh good they got George Takei
on MSNBC now there he is
where's he coming from I must be his
house in Hancock Park it'd be great if
he had a little set that looked like the
bridge of the enterprise
if you just did that people oh this this
is my guest room I told you my Simpsons
story that I originally wrote Marge vs.
the monorail with George Takei being in
the episode you wouldn't do it because
he was he said I can't do it I'm on the
board of public transportation so it's
impossible it's making fun of mass
transportation you know there's no
transportation like public
transportation hello out there
I'm mr. Sulu of Star Trek take it from a
man who knows your Milwaukee County
Transit System is really out of this
world and I was like what this is a
chance to be on The Simpsons this was
like year five this is a big deal and
he's like oh you won't trick me into
making fun of mass transportation the
Booker came to me and said hey Conan
Takei fell through but is it okay we got
a note we got a yes from Nimoy and I'm
like what Nimoy
he outranks ya right stick a infrared
reading from verse three that's
incredible and then so Nimoy did it mr.
Leonard Nimoy I'd say this vessel could
do at least warp 5 a lot of people out
there are missing human contact Andy and
I every day used to hug each other it's
something we've been doing for 26 years
I'd love to have one of those hugs right
now wouldn't you Andy
let's do it what do you say do it what's
this all right
ah only one of us likes our daily hugs
we've been doing well gets lonely what
does that even mean that beautiful hair
not to pull the lace up Andi let me
adjust your glasses oh please do
yeah there you go thank you oh thank you
that's so much better
yeah I thought you'd like that Thanks
you look fantastic now I'm now using
these instead of regular hands yeah
those are a long time to file my taxes
I'll talk to you later Andy alright guys
bye okay please stick around Adam
Sandler is here when we get back and if
you're looking to give right now to a
good cause tonight we're going with the
CDC Foundation we'll see you in a second
Adam Sandler's here
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you