- I will say I know on this website somewhere
there is one with a man in a lizard costume.
- Let's find it.
- You wanna find it?
- Yeah, I wanna find that.
(upbeat rock music)
- Do you want us to put this on yet?
- We are best friends.
- Best friends.
- It's worth saying, I don't watch
hardcore porn basically ever.
- I don't wanna watch people get hurt.
- Her other best friend is a porn star.
- He does straight porn.
And I am a bisexual woman.
- Wait, what?
- I can't with this.
- So what's your go-to website to use,
like youjizz or pornhub?
- What's youjizz?
- You don't know youjizz?
- No.
- I also don't know what youjizz is.
- I don't usually watch porn with men in it.
- Oh really?
- Really.
- Um, why don't, oh, okay.
Chris, why don't you pick what we're gonna watch?
- Do you wanna do youjizz?
- Yeah.
- The thing I like about youjizz--
- Are we in a private browser?
- Oh, going right to it. - Wow, we're into it.
- This guy is saying that everything he thinks
turns into a porn, and he's at the doctor
trying to figure out the situation.
- We've got a man in a leash.
His eyes are closed.
Oh! There it is. It's out.
- Yeah, it's a penis.
- Oh, yeah, you wanna watch that one.
If we don't wanna watch it, that's the one we should watch.
- I don't wanna watch brutalized (censored).
- Boys love to be surprised by a boob.
A girl doesn't wanna be surprised by a penis.
- Oh.
Is that her butt? I can't tell what she's sticking it in.
- She's bouncing, but her boobs are so big.
You'd think that would hurt her.
- Yeah, skip ahead.
- This is more exercise than I've ever done.
- She's in a crazy yoga pose, too,
with her legs over her head.
- I don't wanna watch anymore.
(laughing)
- Now I wanna make you watch a cum shot compilation.
- No, come on Gabby.
- I wish it was set to Yakety Sax.
(laughing)
- He said, "Oh my god, you suck like a vacuum."
- Oh, now we're on the gay part of the website.
- Oh, look at this one, "Lesbian seduces straight girl."
- She's gonna try to brainwash me.
- What is this? This is a CGI porn.
This one has R2D2 in it.
- Yeah, pick R2D2.
- Oh shit, the one girl's like,
"I'm glad you didn't bring your boyfriend along."
- I thought the other one was gonna be gay.
- Oh, okay, um.
- Okay, sex is happening now.
Pretty standard.
- Pretty standard?
- Oh okay, she stopped--
- Tube top is off.
- Yeah, she stopped fighting it.
- Well, we also changed locations.
A lot of stuff has happened.
- She has real tiny boobs, see?
So what?
(laughing)
- Yeah, that's what we wanted.
- [Man in Checkered Shirt] That is hilarious.
- [Keith] That's amazing.
- Do you remember in A New Hope, when R2,
the little thing comes out so he can disable
the tractor beam or whatever?
He just did that with a dick.
- With a dick.
- I mean, that wasn't bad.
- It's just funny.
I also like to make Allison freak out,
so my ability to be like welcome to my world.
Here's weird things that happen.
- You know, I wish they had more
real romantic stuff, you know?
- It's not usually loving.
That's why I wanted to show her the lesbian stuff,
cause that is more loving.
- This is obviously not the optimal porn viewing situation.
- No. Porn is absolutely not a social activity.
This is a man in his dark bedroom
with the door locked.
You like put the volume down.
- I think it appeals you to watch
all different kinds of people having sex.
- Yeah, I like that everybody is weird.
We're all weirdos, and anything you could want to find
on a porn site, you could find it.
And it kinda makes me feel close to humanity.
Where I'm just like, "Yes, we're all weird freaks together."
- So it's like when you're watching porn,
you can't have a dick that's like too out there.
- Oh, you wanna have a dick
that reminds you of your own dick.
- I don't wanna think about the dick during it.
It's too much.
- It sounds like you're thinking a lot about the dick.
Sounds like that's what you're mainly thinking about.
- I've seen that one before.
- Which one?