- Because again in five years, if he decides
I no longer wanna be a cinematographer
but I wanna start painting, please don't, but. (laughs)
♪ Yeah, 'cause I only want you, yeah ♪
- Well, I am Tiffany Laibhen Spence,
I am a lifestyle influencer.
I focus on fashion, family, and just talking to women,
giving them motivational tips on living their best life.
- My name is Kevin Spence
and I'm a photographer cinematographer.
Yeah, so Tiffany and I met in college.
We're both graduates of Delaware State University.
And at that time I was running track and Tiffany was trying
to get her financial affairs in order, as anyone who goes
to HBCUs knows those lines can be long and treacherous,
but she was having a little bit of a rough day that day.
And I walked up on her being super jolly
while she was in a not so great mood,
so I could tell that she was extremely annoyed.
- I was annoyed.
- Very annoyed, but I was pretty persistent,
but I also trying to help, I was helpful.
- To jump in, I got a call from my mom to tell me
that I was about to get kicked out of school
because we owed money and I was in my bed.
So I walked to the finance aid office in sweatpants.
I felt like I looked like a bum
and I wanted no one to look at me.
And this guy was there with a big smile on his face,
trying to be friendly and talk to everybody.
And I just was not having it,
but that was our first meeting.
- [Kevin] Our engagement happened, Tiffany and I had been
at that point dating for- - [Tiffany] Eight years.
- Eight years, and I know for some people
that's a long time, but we were fresh out of school
trying to figure ourselves out.
And I think we both understood
what the commitment of marriage would be.
Especially for me as a young man
who didn't really experience a marital household.
For me, it was, I had these kind of expectations
that I had for myself before putting myself
in a position to be married.
Like I was again, still trying to figure out way,
figure out what my calling was
and I didn't want to be working a minuscule job
that I didn't enjoy and doing all these things
that probably would've hindered my commitment.
- And in those eight years, both of us were finding our way
and really trying to solidify
what we wanted to do in our careers, and not to say
that wasn't the first thing on our mind,
but I think the first thing on our mind
was trying to make sure that we as two individuals-
- [Kevin] Were happy.
- Were good before we really went into that union.
We wanted to go in as happy individually,
two happy individuals, and then go in as healthy
as we could into a marriage.
I have a manager and an agency that I work with.
I have a makeup artist, I have a photographer,
and I have set shoot days every single week.
And then I have like an admin day where I do emails
and responding to signing contracts,
responding to different companies.
So it's a lot.
- Being a cinematographer or DP
where my role is to help establish visual creativity,
look and feel of content.
My work doesn't start when I step on set,
my work starts before I get on set.
And oftentimes my job requires me to travel a lot.
Everything isn't shot where we live here in Philadelphia
Depending on what company I'm working for,
if it's a documentary sometimes a documentary can be
over the course of three months to a year
and it'll require me to travel from different states
and be there for periods of time.
And it can be a long process, I can be away from my family
for a while and it's a role that I absolutely love,
and it's something that I have to now
also consider the jobs that I take now that I have a child.
I can get a text message a couple days before a shoot
and be like, hey, we need to shoot next week on these dates.
And then Tiffany and I have to sit down
and kind of look at the give and take of our careers
and making sometimes some sacrifices
on what we can and can't do.
And that sacrifice really isn't about the job,
but it's about Ever, it's about our child.
So we figure out where things work,
where things don't work and I can make my assessments
as well, based on those opportunities.
It at least allows us to create a conducive schedule
so that we can both pour into our careers,
pour into each other and parenthood equally,
as best as we can.
- I think when we speak to those years
that went into us working on ourselves,
one major thing that we said to each other
was that we were gonna support each other a hundred percent
in getting where we wanna be in our careers
and to express ourselves creatively.
That's a huge part of our foundation.
So like when Kev comes to me and says like,
this project looks like I'm gonna have to be gone
for a week or two weeks or something.
It's not an automatic no at all for us,
it's like, okay, so how do we work this out?
- Like we weren't at that place when-
- Oh, no.
- We got married, we had to make some sacrifices.
We had to put out money we didn't have.
Our wedding was a blessing because-
- [Tiffany] Family stepped and helped.
- [Kevin] And we were able to still have an experience
that could have been disastrous.
- [Tiffany] Right.
- There was turmoil in Mexico.
There was like a strike with the taxi foundation, I guess,
like all the drivers were striking
and doing no driving.
So evidently our officiant was in a part of Mexico
where the strike was happening and he had no ride,
no way to get to Riviera Maya to where our wedding was.
So fortunately- - [Tiffany] My godfather-
- [Kevin] Her godfather was at our wedding.
- He is a minister.
- Licensed minister, yeah.
- Right, and my mom had to go ask him
to get up outta his seat.
They were literally waiting for us to walk down the aisle.
Yes, had to ask him to get up.
He said that something told him
before he left his room to put his wedding book
in the back of his pockets.
- [Kevin] Crazy.
- So he had it where with him, and he got up there
and he performed our wedding.
The biggest piece of advice
that we would give other millennial couples
and any couples whether it be older than us
or younger than us, don't get caught up
in the social media ways of relationships.
I say that because every person,
every couple have their different ways of doing things.
Every person has come from a different background,
everyone's healing through different things.
And so make your own story, make your own rules,
have your own idea of what your relationship looks like.
You know, me and Kev do not have
a traditional relationship at all.
We don't really have traditional roles in our home.
If I need to step up and take the trash out
and walk the dog and do the things because he is busy,
then that's what happens.
If he needs to step up and cook and do whatever,
like we don't have traditional roles in our home.
- I think it was just based on how active,
if I'm gone for four or five days,
we can't have traditional roles,
so like we don't work nine to five
and come home at five o'clock and be a family every day,
so we've had to examine what the reality of our lives
as individuals look like, how they work as a partnership
and how we can continue to find a way
that works with both of us in order
for us to be successful and happy.
And sometimes you just gotta put those egos down.
You gotta put those that pride down.
So, again, having a non-traditional outlook
on our marriage so that we both feel
that there's balance would be my advice to millennials,
especially millennial creatives,
especially if you have a partner
who doesn't work a traditional nine to five as well,
and you're both creatives, you have to find a balance
that's not geared on the societal norm.
- Because again, in five years,
if he decides I no longer wanna be a cinematographer,
but I wanna start painting, like please don't, but. (laughs)
If that's what he decides to do, guess what,
I'm gonna have to step up and I'm gonna have
to figure out how we gonna get him into painting school
because that's just how our relationship works.
Like we have that open mindset
and we leave each other room to grow.
He always knows that he can pivot at any point.
And I got his back and vice versa.