Have you ever been in an interaction were you were just so certain that the
other person was sucking up to you. Right? They're brown nosing you, how did that make you feel?
Well most likely it made you feel like the other person was clingy make you feel most likely it made you
feel
but the other person's claim you like the definitely wanted something from you.
they're sucking energy they're not offering value leaching your value
everything that we don't want to communicate, right? But the problem is
sometimes when we are meeting people, say we're in sales,
and mean want them to like us we want to establish our poor
right they know that because it's the buyer seller dynamic
so it's very hard to be polite it amiable
with people when they know all we need their good graces
soul it's very easy to come across as Brown Osier suck up P
even if suck copyright even dare
on you're saying something that was a normal conversation that dynamic was a
previously established would not come across that way at all
so one of the ways we could do this is to
screw around it in a way up a line of questioning
that people with only ask if they weren't brown nosing
and if they were comparable around the other person the last two are shows
discomfort so
for them but say that I just started in this new position and I'm eating CEO's
flying in from %ah Canada
okay so were most people gonna do they're not gonna wanna push the
envelope at all
so they're going to say a midget a tennis match urgency to golf tournament
Tiger Woods playing well again what
as our how's the weather actually that's betty little more than most people do so
you know how was your flight here many g2g caught up with any up
a problem with the weather a big storm you note it's pretty cold
was going to stay warm out there right just a very basic stuff for lower risk
right now we want to take a risk on a meeting someone who's impression on them
is very important
but what I'm gonna suggest you do is get around all that suck up miss you know
it's very it's very supple Katie do not want to take a risk
because what are you doing by not taking a risk you're saying
I can take risk is that this person doesn't like me if I go too far if I
stepped to the wrong direction
it's gonna be hugely impact on me and any situation you never want to come
across that way
that's not the kind of personality attributes the people
assigned competence and charisma and high status to so what you can do you
is ask personal questions suppresses I was being someone
I'm outside an environment where no no one knows why an under someone random
and he was the head of the whole western division in this company soul she said i
remember in one of those talks he was talking about how he spent a couple
years working in Thailand
and so what I want to talk to him what does the first time ever talk to him
we think I said oh hey how are ya barrett it's really nice to meet you I'm
I really enjoyed our talk no no no assumes familiarity
like I talked about in a very personal question and I
once I got a per month I thought he was cool about personal question
idle even more personal and then I work in a compliment because as we all know
comments are only given from someone who feels a bit
equal or higher social status so I said so sydney
I said pillows I was hoping to just talk to you after the talk but that was so
cool
that you lived in Thailand for two years I had no idea I'm boser Spears met a big
change from from California
right so now he's like old personals guys not
shy to talk about me he's not nervous about asking me something personal like
how they feel about a place I lived right to life a better life experience
right
whose is all you know is actually is really cool um
my wife also works for the company and she came out she was pregnant at the
time I got ya to
so I said okay how can I even get more personal
with this and so I said Wow I said your wife must be really adventures that's
very cool most lives from around here when even wanna
trial there for a week with a kid when they're pregnant let alone give birth or
their s
that's really cool right compliment going further
and easy I you know she's she's a real cool guy we both were in it we're both
on board so anyway
so by asking personal
questions did not feel like I was sucking up whatsoever to them know I i
honest interest in something personal so no flaw
know whether dole nope let you think you want to talk about the he's been talking
about that every
ever wanted these we hope that won't take any risk right sonya this guy comes
up
how's your time in time Yury sounds like a real cool girl with a putback
right that line of questioning that's the kinda stuff people remember
that's where the fifty people he met he's gonna member two or three and I'm
gonna be won over me what personal
it was not wimpy came strong it was not suffocating her suck up for brown nosing
to think how many ways you can use this anytime
you feel tempted to suck up to someone strewn around that by asking a semi
personal questions to be more
interesting to them its gonna make you more memorable
and its gonna lie to establish that report in only a way that people can
who share less surface level more indep
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