I would like to confess
that I used to clean men's houses wearing lingerie.
Usually about 20 minutes in,
I would then take off the lingerie.
So that would be part of the service
and it would almost be like a journey for them.
So I'd like to confess
that I'm absolutely obsessed with Rihanna
and I DM her every day.
Well, I send her a lot of messages
just asking her how she is.
I have a lot of conversations as if we were friends
'cause in my head I believe, like, we're sisters,
we're friends, you know?
No, but one day...!
I'm keeping the hope alive that she will.
I've got a form of OCD.
That means that I have intrusive and damaging thoughts
about my partner's previous past
and I've spent a lot of the last couple of years
thinking about what she did before me.
So obviously we met on a dating app.
So it first started with who else she met
on that dating app,
whether they met before me,
whether they liked each other more than they liked me.
I heard about a couple of one-night stands
and the details of those one those one-night stands
really stuck in my head.
I knew that one of 'em drove a certain car.
It's a very popular car as well.
Any time I saw this car,
it's like my heart would leap
and I'd have no idea what was going on.
And it wasn't until I saw someone else talking in a podcast
about retroactive jealousy OCD
that I knew that something was actually wrong with me
and I wasn't just losing my mind.
Yes, she's probably the only person
other than you guys now
who knows that I have this condition.
I've sort of briefly mentioned it to one or two people,
but it's not recognised
and people just hear it as past jealousy.
I've been called misogynistic.
I've been told that I need to work on my self-esteem.
I've been told that I've got low confidence.
It is a form of OCD.
And if you don't get help
or you don't seek to improve your way of thinking,
it can be extremely damaging.
Like I said, for a long time,
it was all I could think about.
I can physically feel my...
I feel lighter.
I can actually feel, like, a relief
that I've just said it all out loud,
even if it's behind the screen.
I would like to confess
that I used to clean men's houses wearing lingerie.
Usually about 20 minutes in,
I would then take off the lingerie.
So that would be part of the service
and it would almost be like a journey for them,
something to look forward to, you know,
so I didn't start out like, boom! Naked.
Yeah.
I would like to confess that in my younger days,
I was a bit of a firebug.
Firebug basically means set fire to things
that you probably shouldn't do.
Paper, my quilt.
Basically anything I could get my hands on
that I thought would cause a big fire.
I used to set fire to things I shouldn't have,
which led to my mum removing
flammable things from the house.
Then I started setting fire to toilet roll,
but because that set fire a lot quicker than paper,
I panicked and I threw it at my sister
and set her coat on fire.
We managed to get the coat off
before she suffered with any burns.
So she's fine, but the coat is cremated.
I feel like it was just the easiest way for me
to let go of my aggression at the time.
Hi, so my name's Gary McGrath.
So I would like to confess today
that I regret the first time I ever started using drugs
and it ruined my life pretty much from then on.
I started taking drugs when I was about 14.
We started off just smoking weed
and then I did work experience in a restaurant
and I went full time in the restaurant.
I left home at 15 and went full time in the restaurant
and I was using a lot of speed.
When I was 18, I moved to London
to work in a different restaurant
and the cocaine just kind of came along
and overtook everything.
So yeah, it's cocaine really that started ruining my life
more than anything else.
Ruined a lot of relationships.
Eventually I started becoming unreliable at work
'cause I wasn't sleeping.
I was going to work on drugs.
Me and my fiancée split up
and I thought the best thing I could do
was to get outta London,
'cause I was killing myself with coke.
And I moved to Tenerife for six months.
I met a girl from Ireland
and I moved to Ireland just to be with her for two years.
And that was just pure alcohol
and drinking before work in the morning
and drinking during the day at work.
And that fell apart after two years.
I was estranged from my son for many years.
So I decided to come back to London
and I became homeless.
Today I feel okay, I feel good.
I have my son now most of the time
and he's 17 and I've been very open with him.
He knows everything.
So I've got a little one-bedroom flat in Bromley,
so everything's going well.
Yeah, everything's going well.
So I would like to confess a time when my friend called me
and I didn't answer the call
and he ended up committing suicide.
Initially, when it happened,
I actually thought that it was my fault.
Like, maybe if I would've answered the phone call
I could've convinced him not to go through...
I didn't know he was at such a low point,
but now I just keep on thinking back to it
and just hoping that his family's okay.
In one way, it reminds me of it,
like I'm kind of watching it in my head,
but there's some sort of relief
because I'm expressing myself.
So since I'm expressing myself and I'm letting it out,
for example, it's like smoking,
you're letting the smoke out.
So as you're talking about it,
you're not keeping it bottled up inside.
You're letting it out
so it won't be on your mind a lot,
so you won't dwell on it.
It's a bit of a weird one,
but when I was younger I used to drown snails.
I feel bad about it now
because I knew I shouldn't have been doing that
as a child or as...
well, an adult shouldn't do that either,
but I feel bad for the snails and also bad for myself
because I didn't have many friends.
So I think it was like a thing that I was like,
'Oh, I don't have friends so let's do this instead.'
I'm a vegetarian now
so I think I'm maybe giving back to society
a little bit, maybe.
I would like to confess
that I took someone's virginity when I shouldn't have.
When I was abroad travelling,
I was in a country where I met this guy
where according to his religion and culture,
it was strictly against having sex before marriage,
but we managed to sneak into his family home together
and had sex anyway and I took his virginity.
He felt like he had a really great time,
but he also felt really bad,
like he'd committed a sin against his religion.
I don't regret it because I had a great time,
but I wish I hadn't caused someone else pain.