We don't have the time
to cover all the news happening all over the world,
because the biggest news that's got everyone talking
is from the Universe.
NEWSWOMAN: Avengers fans assembling...
and smashing records over the weekend,
bringing in an estimated $1.2 billion
in its global debut.
Any spoilers were highly discouraged.
Don't spoil the Endgame.
B
not getting the memo and tweeting the ending.
Angry fans starting an online petition
to end his contract
and ban him from seeing future Marvel movies.
(laughing): Oh, wow.
Come on, LeSean McCoy,
you tweeted out the ending of Avengers?
Who does that?
How would you like it if I tweeted the ending
of your football season?
"Spoiler alert, the Bills don't make the playoffs."
You see? Not cool. Not cool.
Now it's not gonna be a surprise anymore.
I'll tell you straight. In my opinion,
nobody should even be talking
about a movie after it ends, all right?
If you have to talk about the movie,
just do what black people do
and talk during the movie, all right?
Yeah, that's what I love about going to black cinemas.
Black people do spoilers in real time. They be like,
"Oh, shit, Bruce Willis is a ghost!"
That's what I'm talking about.
We're in the movie together.
(laughter)
Sorry, I know I'm passionate about this.
It's just, I hate spoilers.
I hate spoilers.
More than any-- It's one of the biggest reasons
I've considered becoming Amish, right?
Because if you're Amish, you never have to worry
about spoilers, ever. Yeah. They're just like,
"Jebadiah, have you seen the new Avengers movie?
"Da-da-da-da-da-da-da. I don't know what movies are yet.
Don't spoil it."
For more on what to do about spoilers,
we turn to a man who still has his Netflix DVD plan,
movie expert, Roy Wood, Jr., everybody.
(cheers and applause)
Hello. Hello.
-Roy... -(cheering and applause)
-Yeah. Thank you. -Yo, man.
-With... with Avengers -Mm-hmm.
-and Game of Thrones this weekend, -Yeah.
it feels like very conversation
has turned into a spoiler minefield.
-What can we do? -Yes.
First off, you can stop complaining about spoilers!
I'm sick of you people.
If you don't want spoilers, go see the movie.
That's it. Tired of the excuses.
"Oh, I got a job. I got a child."
So do I!
But I still chose to go see Avengers
at 1:00 in the morning opening night.
Yes, I missed work.
Yes, my kid missed his doctor's appointment
and didn't get vaccinated.
Yes, the whole school got measles,
but the point is either you want it or you don't.
Are you being serious right... ?
-Roy, it's impossible -Mm-mm.
for everyone to see a movie on opening weekend.
You have to be respectful of all the people
who haven't seen it yet.
Well, how am I supposed to know who hasn't seen the movie yet?
I want to talk about the movie.
Look, h-here's an idea. Here's an idea.
When you introduce yourself to somebody,
tell them how far along you are in your favorite shows.
Just-just say your name,
then tack-tack that on after the end of your--
you know, like, right at the end,
like right after your gender pronoun.
H-Here, let's try it. Let's try it.
Hello. I am Roy.
He, him, Game of Thrones, season six.
-(laughter) -Oh. Oh, that's...
-See that? See that? -Yeah, that's actually dope.
-Yeah. Now I know everything about you. -Set a line.
-Yeah. -That's nice.
Um, I can do th-- Okay. Uh, so-so I'd be like, uh,
-Hello, I'm Trevor. -Hello.
He-him, Breaking Bad, season two.
Season two?
Don't get attached, they all die. Everybody dies.
Whoa...
-Just... -Everybody, every character.
No, you just spoiled Breaking Bad for me?
And that's another thing.
If it's been more than five years, we didn't spoil it.
You took too long!
Can't expect me to keep quiet
on some shit you should have known by now.
Matter of fact, let's just go and run through
a couple of the classics.
Darth Vader's Luke's father,
Fredo gets whacked,
and Kevin Spacey was the bad guy all along.
Oh, no. Roy, Roy.
I haven't watched The Usual Suspects.
Oh, no, I'm talking about Kevin Spacey in real life.
Well, I... I can't tell the difference.
You know, 'cause you're spoiling everything.
I don't, like, I don't know-- you know what?
It's actually assholes like you that ruin social media.
I'll tell you that.
Social media was built on assholes like me.
What do you expect from social media, anyway?
It's the Wild West. You got Nazis,
woke people, fake Russians, vegans--
you think they're gonna all come together like,
"Hey, we all have our differences,
but let's not spoil Mrs. Maisel for Trevor."
Instead of complaining about social media,
how 'bout you do this?
Sty off your goddam phone.
Unplug a little.
Take a walk, smell the flowers.
Your child has measles, he needs you.
Peoples' children got measles because of you.
Whatever, man, fine, I'll give you social media,
but, okay, you have to agree, you have to agree on this:
It's not cool that some people go out of their way
to spoil movies for people.
That's fair. I'm with you on that.
If you've seen the movie, don't be a dick about it.
And if you are a dick about it, be ready for the consequences.
When they said don't spoil the Endgame, they meant it.
The cast and crew of the Avengers warned fans
to keep the secrets to themselves,
and those who did not?
(laughs) Oh, they are feeling the wrath.
A moviegoer in Hong Kong actually got beat up
after yelling spoilers to fans
after he walked out of the theater.
(laughter)
Yeah. Yes, Trevor.
Now, that was a situation
where somebody should have gave him the ending to his story.
'Cause if I was there, I'd have pulled the dude to the side
and said, "Hey, man, spoiler alert,
you about to get your ass beat."
Roy Wood, Jr., everybody.