What's clear is that, at a minimum,
Trump and Putin have a very close relationship.
Which, when you're dealing with a former KGB agent,
can be a dangerous thing in itself.
In fact, Jordan Klepper has more.
KLEPPER:
like flies to borscht.
-...Russia scandal... -...Russia scandal...
The Russians are attacking our country.
I must break you.
To figure out what the hell is going on,
I met with an ex-KGB spy, Jack Barsky.
Born Albrecht Dittrich in East Germany.
Recruited by Russians.
Spied on the U.S. for ten years.
Later defected.
And never forgets an anniversary.
I was meeting him at a location no one would ever suspect.
Jack, you're ex-KGB.
I am. I was.
(speaking Russian)
That was the CIA, the FBI, the NSA and what have you,
all rolled up into one organization.
In other words...
he was a mother-(bleep) Russian spy.
What were your weapons of choice?
-There were no weapons. -Gadgets.
There was really no gadgets involved.
What about that drone?
That's not mine. It's got to be yours.
Is that our drone. DP's nowadays are always looking
for a new-- can we just cut the drone?
-We need to get rid of the drone. -(groans)
Maybe there weren't drones, but Barsky did have
a few spy techniques he was willing to share,
like how to check whether your mail was open.
You open this with steam, and then you close it again.
Marking a wall with chalk to secretly communicate.
Casually go around here, and bingo,
there's the sign.
And how to burn paper with minimal smoke.
They taught you how to burn paper?
-Yes. -I think I know why we won the Cold War.
What the (bleep) kind of spy is this guy?
I was, uh, trained to be sort of the intellectual spy,
the guy who befriends other people,
finds out about who they are
and can they be potentially recruited.
Gets into, uh, places of employment
where they can have access to secrets and so forth.
Part of becoming a spy is just building relationships.
-Talking to people. -Right, right.
I will cultivate you over time.
We'll become friends.
We play golf, we play tennis,
and eventually you'll let your guard down.
KLEPPER:
So how in bed is Trump with Putin?
Like, just the tip or even more, something that we're--
no one's comfortable with?
I think he's been playing into his hands in some way.
The end game is to create destabilization
as much as you can in-in, amongst the western camp,
to make Russia relevant again.
-Make Russia relevant again. -Great again.
Great again. You can put it on a hat.
You wouldn't even have to change the color.
KLEPPER:
You just need to be his BFF
and he's orange putty in your hands.
You become friends, you get to know people.
KLEPPER:
TV REPORTER:
shows then-businessman Donald Trump hanging out
with the man now at the center of the Russian controversy.
KLEPPER:
Emin, I can't believe you're turning 35.
KLEPPER:
What's the difference between spying and dating?
Oh, they have a lot in common.
You just walked into this bar, right, and I'm sitting here.
And says, "Hi, how are you doing?
"Oh, you like vodka? I like vodka too.
What do you think, what do you think of the Russians?"
You strike up a conversation.
KGB was just like Tinder before Tinder.
KLEPPER:
boil down to loose lips and mingling?
Well, our floozy president might give intel for free,
but I'm a safety deposit box full of secrets.
How would you get information out of me?
Uh, let's have a few drinks.
Let's loosen your tongue a little bit.
I'm not that easy, okay?
I can hold my liquor.
Well, then, you're one of those impenetrable sons of bitches
that, uh, that I can't deal with.
I'll drink to that.
Good for you.
KLEPPER:
-To your health. -I could use it for my health.
You got problems?
Yeah, the doctor said I have HPV shingles.
Ugh, Na Zdorovie.
When I was in college, I worked as a waitress
at Chippendales to just try to...
-You said waitress? -What?
Do you drink Negronis?
I (bleep) love Negronis.
Here's a funny thing.
I joined NAMBLA 'cause I thought it was Mensa.
(both laughs)
Do you know what they do at NAMBLA?
Oh. Not good.
And then I just type in my password.
At that point, if it's at an ATM machine,
then that's simply going to be, uh, just my birth date,
which is March 7th, 1984.
I sunk a boat.
Like just some dude's boat.
I sunk it.
I-I think, I think you need to have some more drinks.
KLEPPER:
If Putin is anything like this guy, we're fine.
He's fun.
All right, now I got something on you.
What's that?
NAMBLA.
I see what you're doing.
You're becoming my best friend.
Huh?