A broken heart, even though your heart is not physically broken, can feel really painful.
And how it can actually ache in places that you didn’t know you had inside you.
You can actually become physically ill from a broken heart.
So, my first piece of advice I would give to anybody who’s experiencing a heartache
or a broken heart is to take your time.
Get over her.
I think it’s kind of like how they say.
There’s plenty of other fish in the sea.
I think a lot of times we get advice from friends and loved ones that we should get
out there again
and not wallow in our feelings.
But I think that’s the exact opposite of what we need to do.
We really do need
to take the time to really kind of get in there and understand why we might be feeling
the way that we’re feeling.
I love you.
Liar!
Bottling up emotions leads to feelings of resentment, feelings of bitterness, depression,
loneliness,
and can often times lead to serial dating and repeating the same patterns over and over again.
All my romantic stories are a scrambled version of that first one.
If you find that it’s interfering with your day to day interactions then at that point
I would suggest
that you get additional help, maybe the support of a therapist.
And breaking up with a loved one or a partner is a particular kind of loss.
It’s different than other kinds of losses because the person is still there, the relationship
is gone though.
Are you breaking up with me?
I don’t see how it’s gonna work.
If there’s one piece of advice that I would give to anybody, it would be to become anti-social media.
I don’t know how many times I’ve had people come into my office telling me
that they are looking at people’s Instagram feeds, they’re on Facebook,
they’re googling their ex.
Nothing good can come from doing these kinds of searches.
It helps you to have an imagined sense of closeness.
So I would advise you to stay away from social media.
I really encourage anybody to practice any kind of mindful activities, and it could be
body scans.
It can be yoga.
It can be mindfulness meditation.
It can be mindful eating.
But if you can take the time to be present, to be aware of what your thoughts are,
to be curious about what your thoughts are and where they’re coming from
and to understand that your feelings are linked to those thoughts.
I think it’s really important for you to have a clear vision of what moving forward
looks like to you.
And then once you can do that, you can take a few steps backwards and figure out
what it is that’s happening in your life now that’s preventing you from being able
to move forward.
What behaviors are not lending themselves to this new idea, to this new vision that
you have in your life.
It takes a lot of time to really be able to process that life can be different, that life
can still be good,
that there’s still possibilities in your life after that person.
Take the time you need to grieve the loss.
It’s an important part of the process and being able to experience whatever it is that
you’re experiencing
without trying to change or manipulate or avoid the feelings or the thoughts,
is what’s gonna help you be able to come out the other side.