- Hey, everybody, it's finally Friday
and you know what that means?
That means I'm on Facebook
and earlier this week, I polled many of you on Facebook.
Facebook is great for that.
People respond, I get a lot of information,
it helps me understand more about you
and where you're coming from
and it just helps me interact on a whole other level,
which is kinda fun, too,
but I wanted to thank all of you for sharing
how you found my videos, 'cuz that tells me a lot
about, maybe there's other people I should collaborate with,
or people I should collaborate again with,
or maybe there are certain topics I should touch on more,
and that's why I also ask what your favorites were
and ones you wanted to see more of
'cuz it just helps me better serve our community
and make sure I'm putting out videos that are helpful
and on topics that are very useful to you
and it's really cool how many of you found me
and thank you all very much for answering
because, like I said, it's just really cool for me
to get to know us better as a community,
and I challenge you, since many of you shared
how you stumbled across it
and a lot of you said, oh, friends have forwarded it to you,
or you found it one someone else's page
or it was a collaboration.
I encourage you to share those favorite videos
that you let me know about on your page
because if they're so helpful to you
and there's one that sticks out that you maybe watch
over and over and over,
imagine how many other people in our lives
could potentially benefit from it.
Yeah, and the more we talk about mental health,
the better, right?
Okay, so since it's Friday,
I have three questions as well as a journal topic.
Thanks, Lola, for that.
Let's get crack-a-lacking.
First question.
Why can there be such a difference
in people's intellectual maturity versus emotional maturity?
I have a mood disorder and I'm constantly
frustrated with myself because my mind can work through
problems a lot faster than my mood can get passed it.
I try to focus on not acting on the mood swing,
but that doesn't get rid of it.
Sometimes, I feel like my intelligence makes it harder.
Now, this is gonna be a really ridiculous analogy to make,
but I love Louis C.K.
He's a comedian and I was watching one of the shows.
It was on On Demand.
I don't know, it was one of Louis' comedy shows,
not his TV show,
but he says something about--
and this is not in reference to this person,
but it's just to give you an idea
of what I think they're feeling.
Louis C.K. said that I feel like I'm really stupid,
but I'm just smart enough to recognize I'm stupid,
which makes me feel even worse
and he wished he was either smarter or dumber
so he didn't recognize it.
And, I feel like that's kinda of and example
of what this person is talking about.
Like, they're intellectually so aware of themselves
that the fact that their mood swing can take over
and they last longer and they can't push through it
is really frustrating.
Now, I thought this was really cool,
like, the difference between intellectual maturity
and emotional maturity,
and I would actually say to this person,
I don't think it's emotional maturity,
I think it's a mental illness and it takes a lot more
intellectual and physical effort
to move past that kind of stuff,
than we actually should have to.
It's a little extra and so,
it can feel like we can't push past it
and we have to wait for it to blow over,
but I would encourage you to use that intellectual strength
to come up with some tools to try.
It's trial and error, we're gonna find out what works,
we're gonna find out what doesn't work,
but to help pass the mood.
Now, I'm gonna be putting out some new videos
'cuz many of you have said you want more DBT tools.
I'll be putting out a lot more videos on that
and, for this particular case,
whenever any of us are feeling like our emotions,
our moods are just kind of running over us
and we feel overwhelmed by it
and we feel like we're pinned against the wall
and there's nothing we can do,
that's where DBT is amazing,
that's where it works its magic
and if you haven't checked out my Amazon,
which on my website, I have a couple DBT workbooks
and stuff in there that I utilize,
and I just got a new one in the mail
that I'm gonna look through and if I like it,
I'll put it on there, too,
but yeah, I would encourage you to use
some of the DBT skills to help you with this mood swing
and the feeling like it's taking you over
and it helps you kind of get in the grips
of the mood swing, challenge it,
maybe we distract from it, maybe we accept it,
maybe we work through it.
It gives you some tools so you can do that.
And, to be truthful, a lot of the tools
could potentially be found in my Self-Harm Workbook
as well as my Eating Disorder Workbook.
I know some of it's eating disorder focused,
but if you just input mood swing in for self-harm
or eating disorder, a lot of times,
it can still work for you
and that's another way to kinda get help
until I have the time to put out more workbooks,
which I am planning on doing,
but it's just me all by myself,
so it takes me a little time.
I'm sorry for that.
Okay, I hope that makes sense and is helpful.
If any of you have tip about that,
let us know below, okay?
Question number two.
Hi, so I had a question.
Is loneliness a good enough reason to see a therapist?
I feel lonely all the time.
I've tried making friends, but it never works
and I end up worse.
It's not that I can't make friends,
it's that I don't feel that attachment
one is supposed to feel when friends click and grow closer.
I've tried every opportunity, I E joining hobby class,
talking to classmates, et cetera, et cetera.
Nothing works and I feel nothing will.
I don't wanna be lonely for the rest of my life,
but is it wrong to want a therapist as a friend?
I thought this was a great question.
I actually have a couple clients
struggling with this themselves
and there's a couple parts to this.
First, a therapist is not your friend in that way.
A therapist is a helpful liaison
or like your right hand man
to help you get to the point
where you don't feel the loneliness anymore.
Therapist aren't people who fill holes in us that we feel.
Does that make sense?
If I feel like I really just need to be comforted
and I need Sean to tell me he loves me more
and be more comforting, my therapist can't do that for me,
but they can teach me how to fill that void
that I'm feeling in a healthy way.
So, a therapist can't fill this lonely hole,
but they can help you recognize where it's coming from
and give you helpful tools to fill it healthfully
because, often times, when we're lonely,
a lot of times when I talk to my clients
mostly when they talk about loneliness,
I talk about depression because those things
can go hand it hand.
We don't enjoy things like we used to,
we don't really feel the energy or the connection to people,
we're just not very emotional in that way
and it can be really difficult
and so, I would definitely see a therapist,
I would encourage you to find one
that you really click with.
I think that, overall, therapy will help with this feeling
that's so palpable in your life right now, okay?
Question number three.
Hey, Kati, thanks for everything you do.
Oh, you're very welcome.
I'm happy to do it.
I don't know if this is the right place to post FAQs.
Sorry if it isn't.
Oh, it is.
That's the reason I left that in there.
In Facebook, or on Facebook.
In Facebook.
You can send me messages or you can post
below yesterday's video, in the feed.
Those are the two places that I look for questions
for my videos.
Okay.
My question is, my therapist is a clean eater
and a fitness enthusiast.
I fear that her attitude towards food
is actually setting me back.
I'm trying to recover from my eating disorder,
but she agrees with me when I say there are bad foods
and I don't wanna eat sugar slash processed stuff.
I don't wanna blame her,
but what if I'm using her to feed
my eating disorder thoughts?
Now, my initial knee-jerk reaction, I was like,
get a new therapist!
Because, as bad as this sounds,
I don't really believe in, like, clean eating
and being a fitness enthusiast when we're working
on a recovery.
There aren't any bad foods.
Obviously, there's healthier foods,
but sometimes our body wants french fries,
it needs a little extra fat or grease.
Maybe we need extra avocado.
Having someone that's feeding that part,
agreeing with you that there's bad foods,
often times people like that can be very slender
and very aware, and honestly,
they border on orthorexia.
If you wonder what orthorexia is, I have a video on it
from way back in the day,
so you can search orthorexia on my channel,
but I would look into finding someone else.
Not because she's a bad therapist,
but when it comes to eating disorders,
I don't think this is a very good fit.
I honestly am a firm believer in there are no bad,
everything in moderation,
even moderation in moderation.
I believe that working with a therapist
and a dietician who understand
that there's a place for all foods and all snacks
and all treats, it's just finding a right balance
for your body because everyone's body is different
and some people can't tolerate certain foods,
some people really need more of one thing or another,
and so, there shouldn't be any bad foods,
we shouldn't all be eating this clean certain way,
but we should all be more mindful of what our body needs
when it asks for it and giving it what it needs
and then, responding when it's full and stopping,
and that's part of the recovery process,
and having someone who's so rigid,
could be really difficult, okay?
Now, journal topic.
Thanks, Lola, for this.
It says, hey, Kati.
So, I have a journal topic and it's my favorite.
It's bloom where you are planted
and it says, all flowers are beautiful.
They bloom beautifully, irrespective of whether
they are planted in the ugliest swamp
or the most beautiful garden
and thus, contribute to make the place a bit more beautiful,
either by their fragrance or their color.
They all grow and they all blossom.
Like flowers, we too are gifted with some special qualities.
If we too, like flowers, try to bloom where we are,
then we too can contribute to make the garden
of life a bit more beautiful,
and I think, for me, this says that
things happen, we can be in places in our life
when we're like, this is a shit show,
I hate it, why is this happening to me?
Or, we're feeling really stagnant or stuck or something,
but if we choose to thrive where we're planted
to bloom where we are,
we can make our situation better for us
and we can make those around us recognize
our positivity, our radiance,
our excitement for life
because life is life.
The shitty times, the good times,
the everything in between.
That is what makes life
and if I hadn't had bad times in my life,
I wouldn't appreciate all the wonderful times I have
and so, I choose to bloom where I'm planted.
Do you?
Okay, that's it.
Have a wonderful weekend.
I will see you all on Monday.
I hope you like the video
and, on Tuesday, I'll be on Tumblr,
so ask your questions there using the hashtag KatiFAQ.
It's finally Friday.