- HOW MANY PEOPLE HERE WORK FROM HOME?
[scattered applause]
YEAH.
A LOT OF DIFFERENT NAMES FOR PEOPLE WHO WORK FROM HOME,
TELECOMMUNICATE-- "TELECOMMUTERS,"
"REMOTE WORKERS."
[laughter]
"ON PAROLE."
[laughter]
I KNOW A LOT OF MY VIEWERS WORK FROM HOME,
AND I CAN'T IMAGINE REALLY HOW DISTRACTING THAT WOULD BE.
ACTUALLY, I CAN IMAGINE IT.
- KIDS, KIDS.
MOMMY HAS TO DO HER VIDEO CONFERENCE,
SO NO FIGHTING, NATALIE AND TOOTIE.
[laughter]
I HAVE KIDS IN MY IMAGINATION.
OKAY, TIME TO LOG ON
TO THE OLD WWW.
[dial-up tone blaring]
I ALSO HAVE VERY SLOW INTERNET CONNECTION
IN MY IMAGINATION.
HELLO, EVERYBODY.
EVERYBODY.
NO, MY CAMERA DIDN'T FREEZE.
I WAS JUST HAVING FUN WITH Y'ALL.
HI, HI.
OH, I MISS THE OFFICE SO MUCH. I REALLY DO.
I MISS ALL OF YOU. I WISH I COULD BE THERE.
MY COFFEE DOESN'T EVEN TASTE NEARLY AS--
IT'S JUST NOT THE SAME AS IN THE BREAK ROOM.
IT'S NOTHING LIKE IT.
IT'S SO VERY--
VERY DIFFERENT.
DOESN'T-- MMM.
NOT THE SAME AT ALL. WHAT?
WHAT AM I WEARING?
THIS IS A-- MY TERRY CLOTH BLAZER.
YEAH, YEAH.
THEY'RE VERY "IN" RIGHT NOW. THEY ARE.
I GET IT AT TARJAY.
[laughter]
STOP IT RIGHT NOW! NOT YOU, BARRY.
NO, MY KIDS WERE FIGHTING. WHAT DID YOU SAY?
THE WILSON REPORT.
LET ME TAKE A LOOK AT THAT.
I HAVE NOT--
[laughs]
[sighs]
IT'S A VIDEO OF A CAT
THAT DOES NOT WANT TO TAKE A BATH.
I OPENED THAT BY MISTAKE.
I'M SO--IT-- LET ME A TAKE A LOOK.
I'M SURE THE REPORT IS FUNNY AS WELL
BECAUSE IT IS ABOUT ASBESTOS.
NO, OKAY. NOT AS FUNNY, NO.
OKAY, I'M LOOKING AT THE REPORT RIGHT NOW.
I SEE IN THE FIRST PARAGRAPH.
OH.
NO, YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG.
NOT YOU, BARRY. NO, IT'S THE NICK THE GARDENER.
HE'S OUTSIDE. NICK, NO.
NO, DON'T PRUNE IT BACK TOO FAR.
NOT--NOT GOOD FOR THE ROSES.
TAKE THE TOP OFF.
AND NOW YOU CAN TAKE THE TOPS OFF THE ROSES TOO.
[laughter]
I'M STILL HERE. I'M STILL HERE.
THAT IS THE LAST INTERRUPTION, I PROMISE.
SO AS FAR AS THE REPORT GOES...
[phone ringing]
I'M SORRY. I HAVE TO GRAB THIS.
IT'S 1985. THEY WANT THEIR PHONE BACK.
[laughter]
HELLO.
THE MAN OF THE HOUSE? YOU HAVE THE WRONG NUMBER.
[cheers and applause]
I'M BACK. I AM SORRY ABOUT THAT.
AND I REALLY, REALLY-- I'M READY TO WORK.
IT'S JUST THAT I-- I-I-I--
HEY, TOOTIE! EXCUSE ME ONE SECOND.
TOOTIE, SET THE VCR TO RECORD "SCANDAL" THIS THURSDAY
9:00/8:00 CENTRAL, FEATURING PORTIA DE ROSSI.
SHE'S WONDERFUL IN IT.
OKAY, BACK TO IT, BARRY. I'M SO SORRY.
[cheers and applause]
NO, I KNOW WE HAVE TO TALK ABOUT THE STAFFING ISSUES
IN OUR THIRD QUARTER EARNINGS, BUT I CAN'T DO IT.
I'M GONNA HAVE TO DO IT IN AN HOUR,
BECAUSE ELLEN IS ON, AND SHE'S ABOUT TO DANCE.