I've prepared 4 strategies for you today about how to overcome your fear of
public speaking. It's actually one of the most common fears. And near the top of
the list for most people, public speaking in fact on most lists that we've
compiled or looked at or researched, it comes in a head of death in terms of
what people fear. Jerry Seinfeld picked this up and he said, "You know what that
means is the guy giving the eulogy would rather be in the box." That's kind of
funny. But you know what? It's not the fear of public speaking so much as the
fear of not speaking well in public. Think about what I'm saying you're not
really afraid of speaking. You're afraid of speaking poorly. And that will give us
some clues as to what you can do to overcome that fear. I want to give a big
shout out right up here in the front part of this video to Dale Dixon. A
friend of mine in the National Speakers Association who wrote this book called
sweating bullets. It's all about what we're talking about here today. If you
want a little extra boost, go check out Dale's book. And he tells a story in here
kind of a parable that helps you to wrap your head around some of the things that
you can do to get on top of this fear of public speaking. And I promised you 4
strategies. So let's jump in with those. Number one, prepare. This might sound
simple. It's so crucial to overcoming your fear of public speaking that we've
got to put it right up front. Preparation is what will allow you to
avoid the main cause of the fear. And that's the fear of speaking poorly. The
more you prepare the less likely it is that you're going to do a bad job up there
at the mic. So, put in the work beforehand. Think it through.
Compose and structure this presentation in a way that you feel some confidence
going into it. Probably the number one thing that you could do to overcome your
fear of speaking. Get some good preparation. Obviously part of your
preparation has to do with practice. This is strategy
number 2. Put in some practice around this thing. And here's how we're going to
power that up: While you're practicing, record yourself. Just get a little stand
or something for your iPhone or a camera or whatever you have. It doesn't even
really matter. But capture it. Get yourself in a recorded format. This is
not for anyone else besides you. Unless you have a coach that you're
working with and you can share it with your coach. But basically, it's for you to
go back and review. Warning, it's going to be awkward, it's going to be uncomfortable.
People don't like seeing recordings of themselves. Which is interesting to me.
You know, psychologically, when we see a recording of ourselves, we don't look
normal to ourselves. That's because whenever you see yourself, you're used to
seeing yourself in a mirror. Well, the image in a mirror is just backwards from
the way most people are used to seeing you. When you record yourself, you're
going to see yourself the way other people see you. And that's not going to look
normal to you. Don't worry about that. Just notice that, "Oh, this doesn't look
normal to me because it's not what I'm used to see." As you watch the recording,
you're also going to notice little habits or ticks or idiosyncrasies that
you're doing while you're presenting. You want to see this on the recording.
Because that allows you to make the adjustments before you actually do your
presentation. You're also going to be listening for what we call throwaway
words or stutter words. Things like, "Uh".
Okay, you'll catch those little vocalizations more when you're watching
the recording. And that is probably going to annoy you. It's probably going to be
difficult to watch this recording. That's fine.
That's why I'm giving you the heads up to it. So that you won't be afraid of
actually doing it. It's one of the most powerful things that you can do to
prepare. Record yourself practicing and then watch the recording. And listen
carefully to the words you're using. Fear is such an interesting
thing because the psychological and physiological things that you're
experiencing when you described it as fear, are actually the same things that
you feel when your body is preparing you to do something that's a little
challenging. A friend of mine Dr. John Skidmore is a high level performance
coach. And John taught me this idea. He said that if you reframe the fear and
call it instead activation... Ooh, do you like the sound of that? Activation. So,
when you feel the butterflies, the little flutters coming in and you,
usually interpret that as being nervous or or fearful or you call it anxiety.
Let's call it activation. Your body is activating all of the systems that are
necessary for you to have a successful experience at the mic. Activation is
necessary for you to do a good job. In fact, we've got studies that show that
there's an optimal level of activation. If it's too low, you won't step up and do
a very good job. If it's too high, you'll start to get paralyzed by the anxiety. We
want to be activated. Reframing that in your mind allows you to put this into a
context that no longer causes the paralysis or the fear. But you can see it
as your body preparing you for what's next. Consistent with what we've already
talked about here. Find some low risk places and circumstances where you can
practice and get some feedback. So, I've already had you're practicing yourself
and recording that so that you can watch it. You also want to get in front of a
few other people and by low-risk, I mean pick some people who are already
supportive of you. Who really want you to succeed, who are willing to listen and
give you some feedback about how your presentation is coming along. These might
be family members or friends. It could be a roommate it could be someone that you
work with that you're close enough friends to that you could ask them, "Hey,
would you mind listening to this presentation
that I've prepared? I just want to run it by a few people before I actually have
to give it in public." This is a great way for you to not only practice but to
start getting some input from other people. Now, people who love you and they
support you. They're probably going to say, "Oh, that was awesome. That was great. You
did a great job." And you can thank them for that.
"Thank you. What would you suggest I do to improve it a little bit?" Now, you're
asking for the kind of feedback that will help you to actually get to a
higher level of performance. Remember, most people are not afraid of public
speaking. They're afraid of speaking poorly in public. So, the more you refine
those skills, the less reason you're giving your own brain to experience any
fear or apprehension related to the speaking. You can see how much this has
to do with personal psychology. And if you haven't yet got a copy of my book,
Pathological Positivity, I want you to jump on that right now. I'm going to pay for
the book. You just pay for the shipping. I'll get it right out to you as soon as
I can. You get to that through the link down below DrPaulJenkins.com. Spelled
with a D-R. You're going to see a big orange button when you get there. Click
on that and then let's get this book out to you as soon as possible.
I can kind of
look into my eyes