It seems like this year has been a pretty big one for new adaptations of the fairy tale
Pinocchio, for whatever reason.
We had a CG animated film featuring the voice of Pauly Shore and a live-action remake of
the Disney classic, but it looks like the best one has been saved for last!
Making its way to Netflix just in time for the holidays is another version of Pinocchio,
this time helmed by legendary director Guillermo Del Toro.
This retelling of the classic story is done entirely in stop-motion, and is set in France
during the rise of fascism.
Although it differs greatly from the source material, this film still has all the joy
and wonder of the 1800s fairytale.
However, in this radical reimagining of the timeless story, one question remains: Which
characters have a real human heart, and which ones are as cold as a woodcarver’s tools?
I’m ____ with WickedBinge, and this is Pinocchio: Good to Evil
As usual, we’ll kick this list off with the most good-hearted characters, and then
work our way down to the evil characters!
These characters are good.
Earning the Gold Medal of Good is none other than the boy made out of wood, Pinocchio!
While a lot is different about this iteration of the Pinocchio story, its main character
is virtually identical to most versions of the story.
He’s still the same fun and adventurous puppet we all know and love.
Pinocchio is full of wonder and is very naive, practically to a fault.
He’s quite trusting of others, which is both a strength and a weakness of his character.
When those characters have good intentions, it strengthens the bond he has with them.
When they do not, however, it can cause others to take advantage of Pinocchio, which is something
of a recurring problem in the film.
Pinocchio is also deeply caring for his friends and family.
He will do anything to make sure they are safe, going as far as to relinquish his immortality
to save them.
What really gives Pinocchio this most celebrated spot on our list, however, is how his character
makes almost everyone around him a better person.
He helps Candelwick stand up to his abusive father, gives Spazzatura a new home, and gives
Geppetto another chance at fatherhood.
His actions make the world around him a better place, and that’s something you cannot say
for anyone else in the film.
This boy might be made out of wood, but don’t let that fool you!
He’s got as big of a heart as anyone else!
Getting the Silver Medal of Good is Pinocchio’s tiny but courageous friend, Sebastian J. Cricket!
An aspiring writer, Jiminy Cricket resides inside Pinocchio’s wooden frame, and is
entrusted by the Wood Sprite to be his guide.
Much like Pinocchio himself, Sebastian isn’t really that different from most other versions
of his character.
As usual, he’s the polite voice of reason that also is the source of a lot of the story’s
comedic moments.
Although he isn’t always at Pinocchio’s side and he does fail him a few times throughout
the story, Sebastian remains very protective of the child.
He teaches many of the major lessons featured in the movie, and he sticks up for him whenever
he needs to.
When Pinocchio leaves to join the circus, Sebastian confronts Geppetto, and tells him
just how much he looks to him as his father.
This act galvanizes Geppetto, leading directly to the two going on their quest to find him.
It would be an incredible understatement to say that Sebastian has a great connection
to Pinocchio.
In a way, you could say he’s as much his father as Geppetto is.
After Pinocchio appears to die during the film’s finale, Sebastian gives up his one
wish given to him by the Wood Sprite to resurrect him.
If that isn’t love, we don’t know what is!
Sebastian is proof that, sometimes, a mentor isn’t a wise old man or a teacher.
Sometimes, it’s can be a little Scottish cricket!
Rounding out this first section of the list, we have to give the Bronze Medal of Good to
Geppetto!
Out of all the major players in this film, Geppetto might just be the one who most greatly
differs from other incarnations.
This version of the character has a lot more sadness and pain within him than most are
probably used to.
Years before Pinocchio’s creation, Geppetto had a son known as Carlo.
The two shared a beautiful bond before he was killed by a bomb.
Geppetto is brokenhearted by the event for years afterward, until the day comes when
he decides to create Pinocchio.
At first, Geppetto isn’t too trusting of the boy.
He looks at him as a burden more than anything else.
He constantly gets both himself and Geppetto in trouble, and he worries the woodcarver
greatly.
However, as the old saying goes, “you don’t know what you have until you lose it”.
After Pinocchio deserts him, Geppetto starts to see how much love Pinocchio had for him,
and how big of a fool he was to ignore it.
He ventures off with Sebastian to save him, and is overjoyed when the two finally reunite.
Although it takes much of the movie, Geppetto’s heart finally mends, and he feels peace in
a way he hasn’t since the death of his beloved Carlo.
Easily the character with the most dramatic arc in the entire movie, Geppetto is a great
father, and an even better fit for the third spot on our list!
That’s a wrap for the heroes!
It’s now time to look at the characters who aren’t evil, but we also wouldn’t
call them good, either.
This is the Grey Area.
First up is the Podesta’s son, Candlewick!
Another character who differs vastly from the source material, Candlewick is billed
as the “model fascist youth” by his father.
He’s a pretty uncaring child when we first meet him, as he encourages the naive Pinocchio
to put his legs into the fireplace, burning them right off.
However, as the story unfolds, we learn that his bullying demeanor is really a facade.
In reality, Candlewick wants nothing more than his father’s acceptance.
His dad, unfortunately, sees him as a coward who he is ashamed of.
After Pinocchio is taken by the Podesta into a training camp, Candlewick starts to genuinely
bond with Pinocchio.
The two learn they are far more alike than their fathers are, and this eventually culminates
in Candlewick standing up to his hateful father and letting Pinocchio escape the camp.
As we mentioned earlier, he’s a great example of a character who becomes their best self
because of Pinocchio’s influence.
Candlewick’s attitude during the first half of the movie does sadly cost him a higher
spot on the list, but his reformation and bond with Pinocchio get him a nice and cozy
spot on the grey area.
He’s a whole lot nicer than the Disney version, that’s for sure!
Up next is not one character, but two!
These are none other than the Spirits!
The creatures are fairies that possess immense power, but only make a few brief appearances
throughout the film itself.
They are the Wood Sprite, who gives Pinocchio life, and her sister Death, who guides Pinocchio
whenever he enters the afterlife.
Both characters are largely absent from the narrative, only appearing when they are absolutely
needed and necessary.
Really, they are the perfect characters to be smack dab in the middle of a list like
this.
Nothing they do is truly good or bad.
Even the Wood Sprite’s act of bringing Pinocchio to life is seen by Death as a careless act.
Her later resurrection of him too is also little more than honoring the wish she was
to give Sebastian.
You could almost see the two of them as something akin to overseers more than they are actual
characters.
Although both play a major role in the story, neither one necessarily has good or bad intentions
with any action they do.
As such, we see them as the perfect fit for this spot on the list!
Finishing up the grey area is Spazzatura!
This little monkey is the assistant to ringmaster Count Volpe, and tags along with him during
his many acts of villainy.
He helps his master ensnare Pinocchio into their plan, and when it appears that Sebastian
may try to pull him away from their grasp, he tries to kill him!
Spazzatura sounds like a pretty rotten egg, but he does in fact possess a conscience that
his master lacks.
Spazzatura sympathizes with Pinocchio’s problems, although he worries about upsetting
Volpe for fear that he will be mercilessly beaten once more by him.
However, as the film draws to a close and Volpe makes an attempt to take Pinocchio’s
life, Spazzatura turns on his master and helps Pinocchio get away safely.
He even aids Pinocchio in saving Geppetto and Sebastian, and decides to live the rest
of his life with them!
It’s clear that Spazzatura has changed for the better by the end of the film, but since
he spends so much of the film at Volpe’s side, we do unfortunately have to refrain
from giving him a higher spot on the list.
Still, in terms of cartoon monkey characters, you could do a whole lot worse than this one!
The grey area comes to a close as we move on to the characters that you had best look
out for.
These characters are evil.
The Silver Medal of Evil goes to the Podesta!
A high-ranking official in Italy’s fascist government, the Podesta is tasked with recruiting
the youth of the country to join the war effort.
While he initially sees Pinocchio as an abomination, the reveal that he is immortal starts to make
the Podesta believe that he is the ideal soldier.
After Pinocchio is killed again during a performance, he takes him to a camp with the goal of training
him to be a great soldier.
He is a very manipulative figure, as he uses the notion that fighting will make both his
father and the country proud to get Pinocchio to trust his judgment.
He’s also abusive towards his own son, Candlewick.
He sees him as a weakling and slowly begins to take more of an interest in Pinocchio than
him, much to Candlewick’s dismay.
After a training exercise ends in the two boys “tying”, the Podesta orders Candlewick
to shoot Pinocchio, and when he refuses, has no problem taking that matter into his own
hands.
Though he is ultimately unsuccessful and perishes shortly afterward, he remains one of the most
dangerous and hateful individuals featured in the movie.
For all of those reasons, he has to walk away as the runner-up on this list.
Finally, we give the Gold Medal of Evil to Count Volpe!
He is the main villain of the movie, after all.
Could it have really gone to anyone else?
Volpe is a ringmaster and puppetmaster, but before all of that, he was an aristocrat.
He possessed enormous wealth, and he seeks to reclaim that sense of fame through his
circus and its newest attraction, Pinocchio.
He manipulates Pinocchio into joining the circus, forcing him into a contract that is
one-sided and entirely in Volpe’s favor.
When Geppetto attempts to get Pinocchio away from the circus, he plays a direct role in
the puppet’s first demise by refusing to let go of him.
As the story goes on, Volpe doesn’t get any nicer.
We later learn that he is horribly abusive toward Spazzatura, whom he perceives to be
a bumbling fool who can’t do anything right.
In a way, their relationship is almost like a morbid parallel of the one Geppetto and
Pinocchio share.
While we saw a relationship between two good-hearted individuals, the relationship Spazzatura and
Volpe have is easily the darkest one shown in the film.
Even after Pinocchio is taken by the Podesta, Volpe refuses to let him go without a fight.
He kidnaps him later and very nearly kills him for what likely would’ve been the last
time, had it not been for the timely intervention of Spazzatura.
Overall, Count Volpe is as cold-hearted as they come, and the direct opposite of Pinocchio’s
wondrous and kind personality.
As such, he’s the obvious recipient of this final spot on our list!
Before we wrap this up, let’s hand out a few medals to the characters who deserve them
the most!
First, we’re going to give the Darwin Medal to Spazzatura!
The goofiest character to appear in the film, he is a sensible choice for an award like
this.
Next, we’ll give Candlewick the Envy Medal, as he grapples with that feeling when he sees
the attention Pinocchio begins to receive from his father.
Third up is the Wrath Medal, which we have to give to the Podesta.
A man obsessed with war and battle, there’s nobody else who fits this award more than
him!
The Pride Medal goes to Pinocchio himself!
Let’s be honest, is there anyone who has as much pride in themself as this fellow?
Lastly, the Greed Medal without a doubt has to go to Count Volpe.
He’s utterly devoted to winning back his fame and fortune, which makes him the obvious
candidate for this one.
But let us know in the comment section if you agree with our ranking.
And tell us what we should cover next.
Remember to hit that notification bell and binge our Good to Evil playlist, where we
break down the morality of the characters in your favorite cartoons, shows, and movies.
But most importantly, stay wicked.