Here at the Infographics Show we know a young man called James.
There is something we all know about James and that’s the fact he smells bad.
None of us have said anything about it, because we are all too polite and don’t want to
hurt his feelings.
James is a sensitive fella.
Occasionally we’ll bump into him at the water fountain and he’ll start talking about
ideas for new shows.
What he doesn’t know is that while he’s doing this we’ll be holding our breath.
We just nod and smile, but that gets pretty difficult after around 30 seconds.
When you finally do start breathing you are immediately engulfed by his toxic stink.
It seems to seep from his mouth, the pores of his skin, his head, his feet; he’s like
a walking talking decomposition of himself.
How does he not know this?!
Poor James eh, such a lovely guy who just seems totally unaware that people avoid him
because he has a staggering odor problem.
He could slay dragons with that smell.
Do you know, science says the human nose can detect about one trillion scents, but it seems
we are not so good at detecting our own foul odor.
James isn’t the only person with this problem, lots of folks emit odors that can at times
act as people repellents, and sometimes they have no idea why friends keep their distance.
It could be you; you could be another James.
With that in mind, let’s tell you how to test your smell and what you can do about
it if you do actually stink.
First of all, if the trunk of your body smells it will likely mean your clothes smell.
You might not be able to detect something we call BO, which is short for Bromhidrosis,
also known as osmidrosis.
As it is on us, it’s hard to tell how strong it is.
A simple way to check your BO level is to take off your clothes.
Once they are removed you distance yourself from the smell.
The general rule is that if you detect a little smell on you, then others will smell it much
more.
So, take off your shirt.
Perhaps wait until you get out of school or the workplace.
Give that shirt a good going over with your nose, and certainly get to the armpit area.
While people with certain medical conditions or obese people can more easily emit BO, anyone
can have this problem.
If you sweat a lot, there is a good chance you’ll get it from time to time.
Sweat doesn’t really smell in itself by the way, but bacteria multiplies in that sweat
and bacteria is to blame for the stink.
So, first thing, don’t just give yourself a quick sniff – you know that fist in the
air head under the arm movement – actually investigate your clothes.
It should tell you something.
It can be a pretty easy fix if you do smell in this area.
If you’re one of those people that sweats so much they leak like a former Facebook employee
just stepping onto a bus, you might need to wash more often.
At school or work, just take a bathroom break and do a quick armpit wash.
You could use a cloth now and again to keep your armpits dry.
You could also use antibacterial soap seeing as bacteria is to blame.
On top of that, bacteria doesn’t like deodorant and antiperspirant cuts down on sweating.
Lastly, some strong smelling foods can seep through the pores, such as curry or garlic.
You might need to change your diet a bit if you’re a perennial stinker.
But our friend James is what you might call an all-rounder when it comes to stinking.
He’s got every base covered.
His hair smells like he washes it in cat vomit.
Maybe he does, we’ve never asked.
There’s a simple way to check if your hair stinks.
Take a shower, except don’t use shampoo on your hair.
Don’t even wash your body with soap as you don’t want to mask your bad smell.
Get out of the shower and run your finger nails down your scalp.
Really get in there, and then give your fingers a good old sniff.
If there’s any hint of bacteria, yeast, dead skin cells, all the things that are making
your head stink, you’ll smell it on those fingertips.
To prevent rotten hair you might simply need to wash it more, but maybe try changing the
brand of your shampoo.
Try a mild one.
If you have dandruff, use an anti-dandruff shampoo.
If you sweat a lot, again you’ll just have to wash more.
And another thing, stop putting your hands in your hair all the time.
But James’ magnum opus, his veritable atomic stink bomb, is launched from his mouth.
One of our staff members got first-degree burns on her cheeks after mistakenly asking
James the time.
After that she said she thought she had radiation sickness.
Yep, she could have told him about it, but she didn’t.
If no one tells you, you might not ever know that you have the mouth of the living dead.
According to the experts, and we are talking about Colgate, they say go to the mirror and
stick out your tongue.
Do you see white stuff on your tongue?
That could be bacteria and it might be the cause.
If you truly don’t know that your breath might smell bad and you have no great plains
of white stuff, do a sniff test.
You can simply lick your hand and smell that.
You can also get right in there and scrape your tongue with a plastic scraper, not a
knife we should say but the back of a spoon will do the trick.
Now smell the scraper.
Does it stink?
For this you can also use dental floss.
Do the flossing and take a sniff after.
We are talking about chronic bad breath here, and you’ll likely know if it’s bad not
just because you ate a garlic sandwich.
If it’s chronic there might be an underlying problem, such as tooth decay.
Now it’s time to visit the dentist and tell him you think you have bad breath and it’s
really hampering your ability to attract a mate.
That dentist might not want to get too close to you, but he can give you something called
a halimeter test.
These things detect the volatile gases in your noxious mouth so you won’t just know
if you have bad breath, sometimes called halitosis, you’ll know just how bad it is since it
will give you a reading.
We should say, though, that The National Institutes of Health said they are sometimes not reliable.
We think if James tried one he’d melt the device.
So, visit the dentist if you discover something is wrong in your mouth.
Also, be sure to maintain good oral hygiene.
Avoid having a dry mouth, so drink plenty of water.
You might also give your teeth a quick brush after each meal.
It’s not hard, just a very light brush for a few seconds.
As for James, we’ve secretly had to replace the carpet under his desk three times because
he likes to take his shoes off.
After we lost several animators and a cleaner we had to unjustly promote him and give him
his own office, what we refer to as the “containment area”.
Come on, surely he must know his feet stink?
Well, if you don’t smell your shoes you might not know.
Some people are not flexible enough to put their feet up to their nose.
So, pick up a shoe and get your nose right in there.
Does it smell bad?
If the answer if yes it might mean you sweat a lot in those shoes.
The sweat dries, and then you sweat again, and on, and on.
You might try changing shoes now and again or just get rid of them if they are rotting.
After that, wash your feet in antibacterial soap once a day and don’t forget to dry
your feet really well.
Try not to wear the same shoes every day and God forbid you don’t believe in regular
sock changing.
You can also use a pumice stone when you wash to get rid of dead skin.
Before you get dressed, try spraying your feet with deodorant or antiperspirant.
A pharmacist can also give you special foot powders to absorb sweat.
This should work, but if it doesn’t, go see a doctor because something else could
be going on down there.
Don’t let your feet get you quarantined in the back office.
We think that’s all the bases covered, but let’s just say if you’re a young man or
young woman and have just started being intimate for the first time you best make sure you
maintain good hygiene down in your nether regions.
You want to keep your lover, don’t you?
That area can get whiffy after multiple toilet visits and of course after it’s been working
in other ways.
The rule of thumb is after it’s been used it needs taking care of.
We can’t tell you how vicious James’ genital area is since no one’s ever been near that
region.
We think that if James followed this advice today we’d talk to him a lot more, but for
some people their smell problem is so bad they might need more help.
But don’t fear, certain medical procedures can help you.
You can be cured of your melodious malady, so don’t let it get you down.
Have you ever had a smell problem?
How did you deal with it?
Tell us in the comments.
Now go watch “What Happens To Your Body in a Coma?”
Thanks for watching, and as always, don’t forget to like, share and subscribe.