starfox the elite group of
anthropomorphic starship pilots you
might be familiar with their heroism
defeating Andros and saving corneria
multiple times but you probably have no
idea what happened to the starfox crew
after the space saga came to a close I'm
Jocelyn the intern I do all the research
nobody else wants to straight from the
desk of death battle you might not know
it but the Nintendo DS games starfox
command is the definitive end to the
series as it stands despite its less
than stellar sales and critical response
starfox command is the most in-depth
game in the franchise with a total of
nine count them nine different endings
for fox mccloud and his gang some have
pretty happy outcomes but most of them
who held most are just flat-out
depressing but one thing they all have
in common is that they are batshit crazy
before we get into the darker stuff
let's take a look at one of the happier
endings in the game called goodbye Fox
where for no good reason the team
decides to disband Fox and Krystal
settle down together Fox and Krystal
settle down live a quiet life and never
fly again because reasons Oh who's
Krystal she's that blue fox bimbo from
Star Fox Adventures Fox loves the
out of her and she's a bit of a
that's all you need to know their kid
Marcus joins the cornerian army and is a
total badass pilot go figure
Marcus forms a new starfox team with
slippies cowboy son a bunny wearing
earthworm jim for a suit and old grumpy
falco with a random gold leg and that's
that story over of course this is only
one of the nine endings for this you
have to beat the game with its default
ending first and that one is nowhere
near as happy it starts pretty much like
every ending ever the dust settles the
world is at peace yadda yadda but then
you get your first spoonful of sad when
BAM right in the heart the love of Fox's
life leaves him to join Star Wolf you
know the evil fearsome foursome whose
day job is to kill Fox and she doesn't
just betray the team
oh no no she joins Star Wolf because
she's been cheating on Fox with their
team member Panther I told you she was a
just look at how sad Fox is he's
crying like a little titty baby
it gets worse too this is the lie
that closes Fox's story forever fox
mccloud was forced to wander the world
alone and unloved damn remember each of
these endings are not just different
endings to the game but endings to the
entire series itself in the Star Wolf
Returns ending Star Wolf overtakes Star
Fox as the premiere mercenary group of
the lylat system and everyone everywhere
is enamored with them except Cristal the
galaxy hates Cristal for dumping Fox it
straight-up reads they begin to hiss as
she walks by and name her traitor to her
face she is alone and hated haha look at
that point laughs it's like space high
school and she pooped her pants in gym
class yesterday and if that ugly thing
finds her that pathetic you know things
are rough years later she bumps into Fox
who does not even recognize her take
that BAM in your face
so yeah Star Fox has some pretty crazy
endings there's one where slippy retires
has like an army of frog babies and
grows super old and that's all in
another falco misses the final battle
gets really depressed and lonely and
then a cat named cat calls him up and is
all I okay let's make our own team
called star Falco because why the hell
not
so that happens all of these endings are
strange but they are nothing absolutely
nothing compared to my personal favorite
this one blows the top off the WTF meter
okay so Star Wolf gives Fox and Falco a
tip to enter sector y alone to destroy
the Robo reincarnation of pigma the guy
responsible for the death of Fox's
father after murdering the treacherous
swine see what I did there
you think Fox would be pretty happy
right wrong guess what it was a trick
while Fox was avenging his dead dad Star
Wolf saved the galaxy and earned the
greatest honors and admiration all
thanks to Fox's hard work as a plus they
stole Fox's girlfriend too again when
Fox finds out he has a meltdown of epic
proportions okay so maybe he's not the
most articulate space mammal in the
galaxy disgraced and depressed Fox and
Falco leave everything and everyone
behind to hide on a distant planet quote
Fox lived as one already dead barely
eating or sleeping that's like the
saddest thing ever
bonus
in the Japanese version it says that Fox
started to binge eat which is exactly
what I did when my last boyfriend broke
up with me anyway in an attempt to cheer
up his teary eyed buddy Falco comes up
with an idea they'll retire as pilots
modify their airings into cars and enter
into the g0 Grand Prix I you not
since they're badasses Fox and Falco win
race after race and eventually forget
all about their previous space
adventures because nothing cures
depression like running away from your
problems right so that's it until
Nintendo finally decides to revive
starfox this is how the whole series
ends strange confusing and absurdly
dismal oh and there's one other ending I
just need to mention there's only one
conclusion where the entire starfox team
sticks together and what's their final
mission the last quest in the epic
starfox saga they all try to get slippy
toad laid oh good luck getting that idea
out of your head thanks for watching
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