Do you want to know what the signs are that you've actually beat
the narcissist? The signs might actually surprise you. And by the end of this video,
you're going to know exactly what they are. So stay tuned.
Hi. I'm Rebecca Zung, and I've been actually recognized as one of the top 1%
of attorneys in this country. And I've written two best-selling books, Breaking Free: A Step-by-Step
Divorce Guide and Negotiate Like YOU M.A.T.T.E.R. And I've helped thousands of people, millions of
people go from lives of drama, trauma, chaos, powerlessness, paralysis, and I've guided them
and shown them the way through my resources in how to get to where you want to be, how to break free,
create that new life, that new beginning, that new future. And that's what I do for you right
here on this channel. So make sure that you have subscribed and you've hit that notification bell.
And that way, you'll get notified when I upload new content and go live and do all the cool
things that I do, and help you have real guidance. Yeah. It's really great to know what a narcissist
is like, but to really have guidance, step-by-step, from all of the things that
I've learned, that's what you need. That's exactly how you're going to actually start
shifting that dynamic and feeling like you're in control again. Now let's talk about,
what are the signs that you've actually beat that narcissist? It's not what you think. It's
not them laying on the floor, writhing in pain and whatever. Because yes, you might see that.
Narcissist do sometimes collapse. And if you want to know more about what happens when
a narcissist collapses, definitely check out my video on happens at the collapse of a narcissist.
It's quite a sight to see, not the greatest thing to see. But the thing is that it doesn't
change who they are, and who they are is a person that needs an endless amount of
narcissistic supply. It's like animals out on the terrain, or in the Serengeti in Africa, I mean,
they're just constantly hunting for food and their food is narcissistic supply. So they need that.
That's their oxygen. That's what they live on. They need an endless amount. You're feeding a
black hole. It continues to go into this black hole. You never get anything out of that deposit.
But the supply is anything that feeds their ego. I mean, it can be positive things, it can
be negative things. But mostly, they get supply from devaluing, entitlement, playing the victim,
intimidating you, fear tactics, all of that stuff is a way to get themselves
an endless amount of narcissistic supply. So the signs that you've beat the narcissist are
not going to be that the narcissist is collapsed on the floor and groveling to you. Just they can't
change their spot. So the signs that you have actually beat the narcissist is number one,
acceptance, acceptance of who they are, acceptance of what happened,
being okay with it, starting to see them for who they really are. And how do you do that?
You start learning as much about narcissism as you possibly can, which is why you're here
and why the universe brought you to my videos and to my content and brought
you to me and me to you, so that you could learn about that and start accepting them.
And don't beat yourself up over it. I mean, don't regret the fact that this person came
into your life. People come into your lives for reasons, and a lesson was needed to be learned.
And you know what I say all the time is if you're in that situation, you just say, "Okay. God,
universe, higher power," whatever it is that you believe in, or even if you don't believe
in anything, you just go, "What do I need to learn from this situation, so I can get out of it
and it won't happen to me again?" Because if you don't learn the lesson, then another narcissist is
lurking around the corner, coming back into your life. And you won't have recognized the signs.
So just learn about it, accept it, understand that it's okay that it happened. And I dealt
with a couple of narcissists in my own life. And even though I was already a master level,
skilled negotiator, and I had written books on it and I had spoken about it and I was the keynote
speaker for the ABA, the American Bar Association on negotiation, I really hadn't figured out how
to put the pieces together of what narcissism is and how to negotiate with narcissists in a way
that you can actually get what you want and start making progress on that. If you
don't know how to deal with narcissism in a negotiation setting, even if you have the
greatest lawyer on the planet, you're still going to be hundreds of thousands of dollars and many
years into it and feel like you're nowhere. Because narcissists are not on the same
plane that you are when you're dealing with them in a negotiation setting. They are looking to
continue to get their narcissistic supply by making your life miserable, and you are going,
"Well, how do we resolve our issues in a way that's reasonable? What's the law? And how can we
make this as fair for each of us and have something that we can both live with,
so we can walk away and go our separate ways?" That's not how it goes with narcissists. So
when you can start to accept that, and understand that, and don't get upset,
and don't take the bait when they are who they are, that will be a huge way that you
actually start to beat that narcissist. The second way that you know that you've
beat the narcissist is that when they act the way that they do, you're just observing it. And maybe
you may actually even think it's funny. So if they come back and they start their gaslighting,
their hoovering, they're doing all the things that they're doing and you go,
"Okay. There you are, being your narky self. I get it." I've had clients who've called me
and say, "Can you believe he did this? Can you believe she did that?" And I say to them, "Yes,
I can. What I can't believe is that you can't believe it. You've been telling me
for years now, how they act." So when you start to go, "Oh, I can believe it,"
actually be surprised if they act like a normal person. But that's when you've really beat the
narcissist. When you see they're hoovering, you just start to go, "You know what? There they go."
And maybe you even can laugh at it sometimes. And you can even start using phrases
like, "I understand that that's what you think. I understand that that's how you feel."
And if you want to know more about phrases to disarm a narcissist, make sure to check out my
video on phrases to disarm a narcissist. There's lots more in there about that.
If you are so ready to beat the narcissists, give me beat them in the comments. And the
third way is that you just don't even miss them. Now, at this point, they're out of your lives,
or maybe you're still trying to work them out of your life, but you don't miss them.
You're actually glad that they're out of your life. You're actually starting to picture your
life without them. You're starting to move on. The air is starting to feel cleaner.
The skies are looking bluer. You're starting to feel way better about life in general. I mean,
once you aren't under siege like that all the time and you just feel like you're constantly
under attack, you'll be surprised at how nice your life starts to feel.
And if you're still working on that, definitely check out my video on self-care to cope with
narcissists because I have a whole video on ways that you could actually start to not miss them,
and start to pivot your brain, and start to not have that wiring going on constantly any
more because it can make you lose sleep, it can make you feel sick. You wake up in the middle of
the night, you're thinking about it. You wake up in the morning, you're thinking about it.
So you need to come up with ways so that you get to this point because you really have beat the
narcissist when you do not miss them at all, when nothing they can say or do can affect you, and you
actually even start to forget things about the narcissist. I was talking to somebody yesterday
and she said that she had dealt with a horrible narcissist and got out of the relationship
eight years ago. And she said she was talking to somebody the other day and didn't even remember
his name. And she was like, "Oh, wow. That's really awesome. I didn't even remember his name."
So how cool would that be if you could get to that point where you just don't even miss them at all?
So if you are getting ready to negotiate with a narcissist and you want to beat them,
you want to get to a point where they don't affect you at all, where you can just look at them,
think they're funny and not be emotionally invested in them at all, if you want to get there,
let's start by negotiating your way out of it in a way that you can come to a
resolution that's fair and get where you want to go. And you're going to start doing that
by going to winmynegotiation.com and grabbing my free Crush My Negotiation prep worksheet.
If you liked this video, give it a like, give it a share. Drop me that comment. Give me that beat
them, and make sure to subscribe and hit that notification bell. If you're dealing with a
narcissist, you are not alone. There are so many of us who have had to deal with them.
And we are clustering together and supporting each other in my free private Facebook group. Come join
us. It's Narcissist Negotiators with Rebecca Zung. I can't wait to see you in there. And we'll put
links to all of this stuff below. Thanks so much for stopping by today and watching this video.
Remember, today's a great day to start negotiating your best life. I'll see you in the next video.