Hey guys, it's me Veralyn.
So last month I addressed street-hollerors asking when is it flattering and when is it
harassment?
And out of those conversations it seems the guys that are most successful at "hollering"
or picking up women in general are usually the ones that are smooth talkers.
So I wanted to know what made that guy so special.
A smooth talker would be um, a person who seems to know what to say at the right time.
Well I would think it was somebody who probably made women feel good about themselves, and
um, but there's something manipulative about the whole thing.
Swag, I think it has a lot to do with swag.
There's just something that you can't explain.
Somebody that could get somebody else to do something for them, or get something from
them.
By just talking to them.
Smooth talker the definition is myself, cause I'm a smooth talker.
That's how I get the ladies.
What do you do that makes you a smooth talker?
I'm calm, I've got self-esteem.
I don't know about you, but when I think about a smooth talker, I think about Will Smith,
not Carleton.
Jamie Foxx, and not Braxton.
And Stefan Urkel, and not Steve Urkel.
And like these examples, most of the smooth men I've encountered in my real life have
been Black.
So, does race factor into people's expectations of smooth talking?
I don't want to speak for all of white male New York, but I feel like there's less of
a cultural like expectation that we're going to be good at that.
I think there is that stereotype that Black men are smoother talkers.
Um, I don't necessarily agree with that because I am Black and I don't consider myself one.
You've got to be to get some of these girls out here because they all look at us Black
men as being low or not having none.
Right, so you know, me looking the way I'm looking right now, they probably don't know
that I've got a job that makes 100,000 dollars a year.
Because they see me in a white t-shirt hanging with fellas on the corner.
Do you think race plays in ones ability to be a smooth talker or not?
No, I don't think so.
Um, I used to think so.
I used to think so.
How so?
Because junior high school, high school 100% African American so that's all I was used
to.
Uh, just, you know, I only thought that Black guys had swag.
But, I'm absolutely wrong, absolutely wrong.
Totally incorrect.
The more I travel and meet guys from all over, I do see the stereotype for what it is.
But I would say growing up in New York City, 95% of the men I met with the confidence or
swag of Will Smith have been Black and Hispanic.
But then again I grew up in the Bronx which is mostly Black and Hispanic.
So more than race, I would say one's community plays a bigger role on ones views in this.
I think I and any Black dude, any city dude, any I don't know Australian dude, I think
we all want to have sex basically all of the time.
And, how we deal with that, is probably more learned than anything.
That I would guess.
I mean I haven't done any studies, haven't read any studies about this but if I was gonna
say "Yeah I want to have sex just as much as the guy who's macking, but he's figured
out how to deal with it better than I have.
Or, he's figured out how to deal with it in a way that benefits him really well.
As much as I may have like philosophical, social, political concerns with that, and
that sort of behavior, whether I want to do it or not- really the reason I don't do it
is because I'm like shy.
You know?
Like, that's what it comes down to.
And the reason I'm shy is because that's what's modeled to me.
Like that's how my Dad is.
At the end of the day, it's more important to be yourself than to try and be smooth,
because what might look smooth coming from one guy might look completely corny coming
from another guy.
Be he Black, white, or purple.