I never eat before one of these videos because
why eat perfectly good food
that you've paid for at home
(laughs)
when you can eat stuff that tastes, that tastes rancid
Yeah...
and makes you want to kill yourself?
Jesus....
Ladies?
Oh wow!
Don't drink it.
Oh man!
It's like there's a free gaff in my mouth
and someone's is after shittin' all over the place!
At first, you really want to murder somebody
and then...
it tastes like read lemonade.
It's just sugary soda.
It doesn't taste that bad.
I'd say, if I burped in about half an hour...
you're gonna get bacon.
I'll use this to wash the rest of my bacon down....
George: Oh dear!
George: For all day, meat scented protection
apply liberally to your underarms or private areas??
I really wanted to use this on the underside of my balls
for who ever is coming in after us
Mmmm...OK. Alright.
For the modern man!
It's manufactured by J&D's foods.
So it's not even a cosmetic's company.
It is a food company.
It makes you far less attractive!
It smells like if you spilled a load of grease on the table
and then you tried to use soap to wash it up very quickly.
The forbidden fruit
ya know, for a vegetarian.
A woman who smells like bacon...
Davey: It's bacon mayonnaise, isn't it?
Laura: Ooooo!
Davey: Is it?
Yeah!
You know? It's good. It's actually quite good.
I just...
don't like eating mayonnaise on it's own.
Bláithín: Yeah, you can't eat it on it's own.
It's ridiculous. But it would be good on a potato or something.
Have you got Triscuits?
Flashback!
This isnt' a good day. Sometimes we come in here and it's fun.
It's not a fun day.
This is work now.
*laughs*
Go!
*inaudible*
Did it again!!
Eat your cracker!!
George: It smells like a bad hotel!
Curly: Where do you go from there?
Like what?
You get your wife this gift.
Like...oh! I got you a bacon pillow.
Thanks.
Bláithín: Why do you hate me so much?
That's so grand, like...thank you.
Laura: Doesn't smell like bacon.
It smells like print.
Better make sure my innards taste like bacon as well!
Ohhhh...you need to stop doing that.
Like, if you want bacon flavored stuff...
just cook up bacon in a pot...
and then pour the grease over your head
...like the useless person that you are!
Isn't there a risk that you'd wake up
and half eaten this?
Davey: Eww! It does smell like food!
Laura: *burps*
Davey: You just....
...you're gonna lose all of the guys who fancy you in the comments now.
Bláithín: Bacon lube!
Now this is something I can....! No, not really.
I think you'd get depressed and stop halfway through
and go, "Great. Now I'm horny and hungry!"
Davey: You've always been a lover of bacon...
now you can be a bacon lover, with bacon lube....
the worlds first ever bacon flavored massage oil and personal lubricant.
Curly: Personal lubricant!
Bláithín: Don't you dare try to use it with anybody else!
Anybody that wants *this* in their life is not...
having a partner...every, like....
OK, alright....here we go.
*indistinguishable noises of disgust*
Oh really??
My tongue is going numb!
Tastes like lube.
No, I definitely don't think it's.... *laughs*
Have you guys tried this?
This is horrendous!
Ahhhh!! *coughs* Ahhhh!
This is actually what George Foreman's penis probably tastes like...
Ohhh! *in disgust*
Yeah, after tasting that. It make me wanna jump out of a plane.
Yeah, makes me wanna jump out of a plane too.
Davey: A new flavor. What's the new, cool flavor?
Laura: *burps* *embarrassed laugh*
Davey: Will you include all of these?