Hi, I'm Psalm Isadora, and I am your sex coach.
I'm going to talk today about how to have multiple orgasms.
For a lot of women, even an orgasm isn't possible.
The statistic is actually one-third of women have never had an orgasm.
That's, like, shocking to me because every woman is capable of having an orgasm.
Something is just been kind of shamed in them or shut down, and once they learn how to let
go and relax, they can have that orgasm.
One-third of women say that they rarely orgasm and aren't quite sure what helps them to orgasm,
and another third of women have regular orgasms, but a lot of them don't have multiple orgasms.
So today, we're going to talk about how to have multiple orgasms for women.
It's really about learning how to let go and how to allow yourself to experience more and
more pleasure.
Every orgasm is like a massive muscle spasm and release of sexual tension.
If you don't have an orgasm, you're getting all that sexual tension built up, but it isn't
allowed to have that full release.
And when you have the full release, that's when you get all the serotonin and dopamine
released in your brain, the same thing that happens when you have caffeine or even when
people do a line of cocaine, which I'm not advocating.
It's that powerful.
The orgasm goes into the brain, and you have a very strong, ecstatic reaction.
You want to learn how to allow yourself to release all that built-up sexual tension that
comes from the intercourse and also to allow that sort of muscle spasm letting go to happen.
And if you're able to have one orgasm but not multiple, it means right after you have
that release in the muscle spasm...
A lot of women, they just kind of feel tired, and so it's actually learning how to build
up more sexual tension again, have the muscle spasm, and release again.
It's possible, I believe, for every woman to have orgasms and multiple orgasms once
you actually learn how to train your body.
Sometimes, I have 10 or 20.
But if you want to have stronger muscles, you go to the gym.
So here, we're going to take you to the vagina gym.
The first of the tips is pelvic floor exercises.
So these are going to be a lot deeper than Kegels.
A lot of women doing Kegels aren't necessarily having better sex, so you want to learn how
to do a deeper squeeze.
So literally being able to use the vaginal wall muscles like a hand and have that much
control as if you would with your hand and your fingers that you could be milking what?
A penis.
So deeper than the Kegel, you want to learn how to start squeezing from the bottom to
the middle to the top, and then hold that in, and then slowly relax and release from
the top to the middle to the bottom.
I like to actually do this combining the breath control, so you would inhale and squeeze,
squeeze, squeeze to the top, hold that as long as you can, and when you exhale, relax
from the top to the middle to the bottom.
So that's going to help you learn how to have more control of the muscles in the vaginal
wall, which is very important for orgasms and multiple orgasms since it's related to
that muscle spasm.
First, you have to be able to draw in and contract all the sexual tension, and then
be able to relax and let it all go.
If you don't have much energy in your everyday life, you probably aren't going to have the
energy it takes to have great sex or have a great orgasm or multiple orgasms.
So you need to be able to breathe to build up enough arousal, so I teach a breath called
breath of fire, and that increases the amount of energy that you have and sexual energy
you have, specifically.
And you'll know it's working because you'll start to feel your whole body heating up and
tingling.
I actually recommend you do this for one minute every day, and see how that's going to start
to make you feel more aroused in general, have more energy, and start to have better
sex and multiple orgasms in the bedroom.
And you're just going to...
So I'm inhaling and exhaling through my nose only, not breathing through my mouth.
If I breathe through my mouth, I'm going to cool my body down.
If I only breathe through my nose, I'm heating up my body and building up that sexual arousal.
You're going to try and do that for a whole minute.
If you get tired, that kind of tiredness is going to equate to how much energy you have
in the bedroom to have multiple orgasms as well.
And the other kind of breathing that I teach is breathing to relax, and this is what I
call sexy Darth Vader breathing.
You can bring your fingers to right...this part of the collarbone, and constrict the
back of your throat lightly.
And then you're going to inhale and exhale, constricting the back of your throat, and
listen to the sound that it makes, like a hissing in the back of your throat.
So just a few breaths with me.
So right away, that brings a sense of feeling relaxed and that ecstasy or euphoria that's
associated with the sexual response, or orgasm.
The next secret is more foreplay.
You want to learn how to tease yourself to the edge of the orgasm, and then make that
last a little bit longer.
If you're a woman who has a hard time having an orgasm in the first place, your technique
is going to be to really, like, do that breathing and probably more touch and foreplay, a very
light touch until you feel your whole body start to tingle.
Your body actually starts begging to have the pleasure of the orgasm.
Women who have a hard time orgasming...a big problem is they're thinking, "I can't orgasm.
I can't orgasm.What's wrong with me?"
Instead, you want to think, "I'm not trying to orgasm.
I just want to tease and tease myself," especially around the areas of the nipples and the clitoris,
which have the most nerve endings for pleasure response.
Those are your orgasmic triggers.
And for women who orgasm easily but maybe only once, you want to do something called
the razor's edge sexual technique.
So you're going to come close to the edge of having an orgasm, and then do that breathing
I taught you to relax, to cool down, and to wait and feel then the sexual arousal and
tension build up, up, up again, and then you're going to ride it to that edge again.
So every time you get close to having the orgasm, kind of do the deep breathing, pull
back a little bit, tease yourself.
It does work, but you do have to do the work.
Right?
So a lot of women talk about "Oh, I want to have orgasms, better sex, multiple orgasms,"
but when it comes to actually doing the practice before you get into the bedroom, they'll give
up very easily.
So this is really about making a commitment to your own pleasure, and to having the best
sex of your life by putting in these effort to build up the strength of the vaginal wall
muscles with those isolations, and to practice doing some of this breathing so that you build
up your arousal and the sexual tension, and then learning how to let go and release into
the orgasm, and doing that so you can start to have multiple waves of orgasm.
It's not uncommon for women to be able to have four or five orgasms, which, actually,
is pretty intense.
When you have that many orgasms, it does make your brain a little fuzzy, so make sure that
you're able to, you know, function properly the next day.
But those are the secrets to having multiple orgasms for women.
That was useful, right?
Those are some good tips.