I came here because I wanted to teach.
And I couldn't teach, because I couldn't teach until I'd found this.
And my question is that, besides being a trainee Zen teacher, I was also a meditation teacher.
And my two core meditations that I taught,
out of a number of 8 that I've been trained to teach by a Zen master,
were "Who am I" and Bankei's "Unborn: The Practice of Presence."
[Mooji]: I know very much...
They're the two that clicked with me,
and it's why your teachings just kept coming back all the time,
coming into sight until I was here.
And you say that when we leave here, we don't share this Nothing.
We found Nothing.
How do I approach the situation of teaching?
It's not my sole reliance.
[M]: Okay. Very good.
One thing you say, and it stuck for me, [phone rings] [laughter]
What is this Thing? What is this Thing you say?
You say, "I live here, now, in this invisible temple."
The one who is in the invisible temple is visible or invisible?
[Questioner]: Invisible.
Yes.
This one does not know "I, me, my, mine."
Does not really know it, really.
Words may come to that effect.
"Oh, I need to go now," or "This is mine," so and so.
But it will be superficial now, you see?
How, how, how, how. When, when, How. Will, will...
They don't know this one. How, how they don't know.
They don't know.
Just, life moves this body.
All your life, your rivers flow, has been flow of consciousness.
And, so, whatever is next doesn't belong to you.
It will unfold. And you're seeing this.
Now, to the outside view it may not look like that.
They find you, you know, sort of like, you know, making tea and doing your thing and stuff like this.
But inside, you are empty. No one can understand this.
Inside empty. No intention.
I am not living life. I am life.
But you don't say even that.
So, somehow you must find that there is this sensitivity growing, you see?
An awareness... You are an awareness itself.
Not someone being aware, even.
Just awareness...
So, there's nobody being aware. There is just awareness, you see?
Walking in the form of a human being.
These things... how will you explain these things, you see?
You can't explain. No need to explain. Don't try.
Just be. It's enough.
Just be.
You don't have to explain, no justification, so on.
If it flows through your mouth, then you will see it comes from there.
You will not choose who to speak to and who not to speak to.
Someone, somehow, there is something totally integral in this.
You don't work anything out. You have no self-definitions.
You walk, but you leave no path.
The Christ said what?
How is the nature of the one who is reborn?
Reborn and unborn, same thing actually.
He said, "Feel the wind."
You feel it. You don't know where it's coming from or where it's going.
Such is the nature of the unborn.
Such is the nature of that one who is free.
And the rest of us know Him deep within our being.
Not with the mind, no. But with a sense.
A sense. Because it awakens that within our own self, you see?
You are That. You are That.
The one who dwells in the temple of Nothingness.
How will you bring this to your student?
Don't know how.
This is the beauty. This is the magic.
Don't know anything.
Go. Because your heart places you there.
And when the time comes to speak or not to speak,
it will happen or not happen.
But everything will be right. You will know that.
Myself, it was like that the first time.
I was invited because, for awhile, I did not know. I could not speak.
I was just sitting.
And I was most comfortable just sitting.
People start to come and sit, and they were sitting,
and only looking was somehow taking place.
I cannot even say I was looking, because a part of my nature is quite shy, you see?
So, it's not like I was looking. [laughter]
No, something was looking.
Something was looking and it always went to the eyes who could receive it.
That was noticed here.
And then, someone came and invited me.
"Please, we would like you. We have a meditation group in Dublin. We would like you to come.
Please. People want to ask questions."
Oh, questions? Oh ho ho ho. "Please come."
And then I went. It was not a larger thing to say how we went
on a train: choo choo choo choo choo choo choo choo
went there and then we were staying just next door to the hall where Satsang was to take place.
And then I heard the people coming in,
and more steps, and more steps, and more steps.
And I thought, "How many steps?" [laughter]
Then it was a full room. "Ha," I went inside then something panicked all those years ago.
I said, "Oh, but I don't have anything to say!" [laughter]
"I must say. I cannot be caught like this. How embarrassing!" The mind came, you see?
"I must say something. Ha, let me think what is good to speak about." [laughter]
"Let's speak about attachment and non-attachment. Ah! That's always good." [laughter]
So I sat down and I said, "Okay, today I will talk a little bit about attachment and non-attachment, okay?"
And after about one and a half minutes, I was finished. [laughter]
Then after this, blank. [laughter]
And I felt totally out of sync with the group, because my mind was there.
It's like making a speech ahead of time. Beautiful speech.
You go in front, but it's not for these people. [laughter]
It is never true, because it's not spontaneous. It's not now.
It didn't come from here [heart], it came from here [head].
It's all past.
You don't come from past.
You don't come from future.
You don't even come from present.
From presence, it's come. Like that...
And this was a bitter taste for me. A bitter taste.
Then that was the first and last time.
From then, I cannot plan anything at all, because I see it doesn't work. Not for me.
Then you must come and sit, then we see what comes.
We don't know what's going to happen.
You walk into a room all of deaf people. [laughter]
You say, "Satsang with deaf people?" [laughter]
Okay.
If you are there, something must happen, you see?
Something must happen.
No plan. No projection. No strategy.
You are like that now, you see?
That which is born will die. That which is unborn can never die.
You must put it to the test now, you see?
You don't know what the next day will be.
Everything, so many things are uncertainties, but you are not concerned about certainties or uncertainties.
Open, like that.
Then you are in real time with the Universe.
So many people, they're still past.
Still in the past, or in the future, or trying to be present.
But you don't know anything about that thing.
You don't know anything about this.
Even while the question is being put, you don't know if you're going to answer.
Of one of the early times that this happened, I remember, in the early days,
I went out in my town and then I'm just walking aimlessly, somehow.
Just, it was a test. I said, "I don't go anywhere unless somehow I feel it inside my being.
So nothing planned to go anywhere.
I sat in my room on my little bed,
and then a feeling comes to go out.
I put on my jacket, going out, but I don't know where I'm going. [laughter]
So I go out, out the door. Closed the door, started walking, walking.
Feels fine, feels fine. And then somehow I feel stop, stop.
Then people would pass and look at you a little bit.
And I said, "No. This is not going to work somehow." [laughter]
I was waiting. Embarrassment coming. Something like this was there, you see?
So then, next time I said, "Ah, idea." I went out with a little notebook, so when I stopped somehow,
I would kind of be looking and [writing] [laughter]
Just feeling what is this thing, learning, giving space for that.
And not minding you look a bit silly, you're finding your way.
You're trying on your new shoes.
This is how it is, like that, you see?
And by and by, you find your way. By and by, you find your way.
See? Then out of this thing, then you don't have to plan anything anymore.
No planning anymore.
Then, one time at the market, I was in the market and I then found myself in a queue.
[laughter]
And then, first I didn't know what queue it was, I just saw people...
[laughter]
People were in the market and I just found myself in this queue
and then it's going down, I'm going down like this
and then I noted it was the vegetables queue.
And people were... yes this one...I want this... half a pound of tomatoes... yes, one pound of grapes... like this.
And I'm going, "I don't know what I want!" [laughter]
And it's coming down and there's three people in front
and he said, "What do you want madame?" "Can I have 5 leeks?" or something like that. "Yes, one cauliflower please."
"Yes, yes, madame, next again." "Half a pound of tomatoes." "Yes, okay next? Next you want?"
And still nothing's coming. [laughter]
And only when I got there, "Yes sir, what would you like?" You see, "Can I have one tomato please?" [laughter]
Yes. And next? I don't yet know what yet next.
It's not in the moment, you see? Like that.
"One cauliflower." "One cauliflower? What size? This one?" "Yes, that one." [laughter]
Like this, and then I had a bag of things and I said, "Oh, what to do now?" [laughter]
So I walked around with a plastic bag for awhile.
Now, I don't tell many people about this thing. [laughter]
But, but I feel, this is, I can talk to you about this. [laughter]
Yes, yes, yes. And because it doesn't look good if you talk like that. [laughter]
I couldn't share this with my mother or something. [laughter]
"What? What have I brought you up for?" [laughter]
But in this, there is a deep sensitivity, there's something like a deconstructing of tendencies are happening.
And something is behind it, like that.
And somehow you... the life moves and new examples come, new things happen, like that.
So, I don't plan anything at all.
If we make plans, sometimes now, there's an organization of Satsang
and then we have to say okay there's a retreat in this time.
Some things which are appropriate, and then they have to be done.
But they are not rigid.
They're more like sketches.
And these practical pragmatic arrangements, they seem to go quite smoothly.
But anything to do with person, personal movement: "What would you want? Tomorrow we're going to the beach. Would you like to come?"
I don't know such thing.
What is tomorrow? I don't really... I don't see... how can you know?
"What would you like to have for lunch tomorrow?" It seems ridiculous. How will I know that?
And then, they think you look ridiculous for not knowing things like that.
So, different worlds.
Very good.
Thank you, thank you.
.