- With all my songs, they're about personal experiences.
They're always usually exactly what happened.
And so every lyric in this song
is an exact representation of something
that I went through with this person
or an experience that happened.
And so the lyrics just honestly came naturally.
I just started explaining the story to my co-writers,
and being like, oh, I went to his house,
we used to travel, we used to do all of these things.
And it just started literally pouring out
how exactly lyrically, what we wanted to say.
I'm like historically known with my team
for like releasing songs,
like songs on TikTok before I'm supposed to.
So I didn't even have the demo track for "Fingers Crossed",
I just had the video clip, obviously put it onto TikTok.
And within like 24 hours, I think it had 5 million views,
and it just started building from there.
And so I knew people wanted it,
and I didn't have the track.
I literally didn't have the demo.
I didn't know if I liked the produced version.
And it started to build us momentum
and I was so happy and so excited for it.
But at the same time, it was super nerve-wracking
because I was like, are they going to like the track?
Or do they even gonna like the rest of the lyrics?
Like they don't know what it's about.
People were saying,
I'm gonna get back together with my toxic ex,
if she doesn't release it in the next week.
I was like, I am at fault,
for teenagers being in bad relationships.
Like I definitely was feeling the pressure,
and wanting to get this song out as soon as possible.
The guy it's specifically about, we never dated.
Kind of you know, there was a lot of mixed signals.
It was a lot of, you know, who knows what.
But I did go to his house,
I did meet his whole family.
Nana, you know, everybody, I met everybody.
And he would go to work at night,
and I would sit in his room,
and watch my favorite shows on his TV.
So when we wrote this, like I envisioned myself
literally in his room,
watching my favorite shows on his TV with his siblings.
As my therapist loves to say, I'm a fixer.
It's my toxic trait, but a great trait.
I love to help people. I'm an empath.
But in this case, it did not work in my favor.
And I just felt like I tried
to make him the person that he wasn't.
But we definitely sat there and, you know,
we said daddy issues.
And I was like, can we put that in.
I don't know if we can put that in.
And we, at the end of the day we just decided,
we're gonna put it in.
(Lauren chuckles)
I'm a big red flag ignorer.
As my best friend would also had say,
he was a walking red flag.
And I would just say,
like sometimes we'd get in fights,
or like I'd be like,
hey, we really need to talk about this.
And he would just like, not respond for two days.
And my friend would be like,
yo girl, that's not healthy.
Like, you should probably end it.
Like, that's not something you do.
And I'd be like, no, he's fine.
Like, he's just dealing with his own stuff, you know.
I definitely, throughout the process learned,
if they wanted to, they would.
If somebody wants to be with you,
if someone wants to buy you flowers,
and treat you like a queen, they will.
And they'll put in the time.
And I chose to blatantly ignore all of that.
Even just for a lot of months,
I blamed myself for everything.
I just felt so bad.
And I am the kind of person who blames myself,
and I'm like, maybe it was my fault,
maybe it was all these reasons.
And when I met my boyfriend, he made me realize like,
yo, that's not your fault.
Like, that's really like, that's not right.
Like, someone shouldn't have said that to you.
And it just made me like flip my position to be like,
I'm not gonna say sorry to you for the 100th time,
and make you feel better, when I'm the one that got hurt.
So I was actually hanging out with
another one of my songwriter friends,
who didn't help me write "Fingers Crossed",
and he, we were just talking about the situation in general.
And he, kind of said something along the lines of like,
you know, when someone says they love you,
I guess they had their fingers crossed,
and they didn't mean it.
And we were both like, oh my goodness,
that was the exact thing that happened.
And we kept talking about it.
And the next morning I had a session and I was like,
I'm going in with this.
Like, this is the best thing you've ever said in your life.
I am like, kind of known for always wanting to be like,
let's switch it up at the end.
And you know, let them listen all the way to the end,
and switch something up.
But I think that was more of a,
I didn't wanna be, you know,
back in love with him and back with him.
But I said, I wish you said you loved me and you meant it,
because maybe I wouldn't have went through
all of this awful stuff,
and had to write this song kind of t hing.
I say to this day,
I am so glad he had his fingers crossed,
because we are thriving and we're so happy now.
And probably was the best thing that's ever happened to me.