-Hi, and in this video, I'm going to share one important
understanding that's going to help you connect deeper with men.
[music]
-Hi there.
Mat Shaffer, your empowerment, connection, and relationship
coach here with you again.
I am a former attorney who has committed his life to using his
powers for good [chuckles] to help women create more fulfilling,
meaningful relationships and understanding with men.
I'm really looking forward to talking about this distinction today.
It's an understanding of how men perceive the way
you're showing up to them.
If you understand this, it's going to really help you show
up more high value in the eyes of men in your life, which is
going to make them want to be in deeper connection with you.
We're going to dig into this in just a second, but before we do, take a
second, hit that little subscribe button, and don't forget to click
the link in the comments or caption.
I'm always uploading new stuff, and I've created some great content just
for you that you don't want to miss.
The key thing I want to focus on in this video and what I
really want you to get here is the difference between seeking
connection and seeking validation.
See now, what a lot of women do when they go into relationship or
they go into a dating situation is that they are seeking validation,
validation of themselves in some way.
They're either seeking validation of the way they look, or they want
some sort of acknowledgment or recognition for other things in their
life, and they're really seeking that validation from men, and it's
coming fundamentally from insecurity.
When a woman goes into a date or goes into a relationship
and they're constantly seeking and asking for that validation
from a man, he picks up on it.
He picks up on it, and he's going to get the sense that this woman
isn't necessarily super high-value.
If you go into a relationship or you go into a dating situation
and you're constantly craving that recognition and acknowledgement
from him and asking him for it in a needy or insecure way, it
may devalue you in his eyes, and it's actually going to stop him
from wanting to invest more and wanting to connect deeper with you.
Instead of seeking validation, what you want to set a powerful
intention to do in your dating and connections with men is to go
into those dates, go into those situations with men actively seeking
connection, not having an agenda, not wanting or needing anything
from him other than a deep and meaningful connection with him.
What does that look like?
It looks like you showing up relaxed, showing up confident,
showing up complete, and just being present in a situation with a man.
That is very attractive to a guy, and that really shows
that you don't need him.
Nothing will turn a man on more than him really feeling and experiencing
you as not needing him, as not wanting anything from him because,
I say this a lot, but men are truly seeking freedom with the feminine.
The feminine sets us free, and one of the most important
parts of us feeling free is us not feeling like a woman is
trying to get something from us.
That's the key distinction, is that when you're going out into
the world and you're meeting men, is truly if you want to create
relationship with them and you want to draw them closer to you, seek
connection, don't seek validation.
It'll make a huge difference in the way men see you and
the way they value you.
If you're looking for connection and you show up with that empowered
grounded energy, they're going to see you as high-value and
they're going to want to be in a deeper, connected space with you.
If you have a pattern of seeking validation with men and really
feeling you need validation with men, it's important that you look at the
beliefs that may be underneath that.
Where do you not feel like you're enough?
Where have you created some false story about yourself that
you need the validation of men to feel like you're worthy?
I'm here to tell you, you are fundamentally worthy of being
loved, and appreciated, and cherished simply for who you are.
You don't need a man's validation to reinforce your identity
or who you are as a person.
You don't need a relationship to be enough or to be whole.
You are complete and perfect just the way you are.
If you do have a pattern of really seeking and craving validation
from men as a way of making you feel better about yourself or your
life, then it's probably important that you do some inner work before
you go out into the world and start getting into relationship,
because if you go out from that needy validating space, you're
going to have a tendency to attract codependent relationships which are
not going to be healthy or supportive for you or for your partner.
Get out there in a heart-centered and grounded way and seek connection,
be present, and be that freeing force with men, and you're going
to have much better luck in your dating and in your relationships.
I hope you enjoyed this video.
If you did, take a second, hit that little subscribe button,
and don't forget to click that link in the comments or caption.
I've created some awesome training just for you.
Thanks so much for stopping by, and I'll see you next
time on my YouTube channel.
Bye-bye.