- How's your mobility, Kev? - ( grunts )
Jason, swing a sword.
- There we go. Working. - That's what I'm saying.
Kevin: Can you swing it?
- You can do this, you can do this. - Yeah.
Yeah.
Oh, you're good.
Kevin: Do knights dance?
I'm ready to do some "What The Fit"!
The amazing thing about our show is everything cannot make the cut,
but I can't lose that footage. We gotta keep it.
So, you guys can watch the deleted scenes.
I'm probably cussing a lot.
They're always cutting my cuss words out.
( bleep ) ( bleep ) ( bleep ) mother ( bleep )!
That's gonna get cut off, watch.
That's gonna be in the deleted scenes.
So, you-- That's what I'm talking about.
( music playing )
- Kevin: Sorry. I know what this is. I got one of these. - Jason: What is this?
This is what I use if a burglar come in the house.
You done broke into the wrong house, ( bleep )!
- And then it's over. Head off. - Jason: Yeah. Yeah.
All right, so what you've got is a small bullet.
- All right. - So you're just gonna take a simple block.
- Okay. - All right.
Oh, ( bleep )!
So, it's that. So, it's really easy.
- So just-- You're up. - Kevin: Go ahead, Jason.
- Okay, all right, well-- - You got it. Let's go, Jason.
- Yeah. - Hey.
- Hold that here? - Protect your-- Protect your head.
- Jason: Yeah. Okay. - Do not move it.
- Hey, Jason! - This is fun.
( laughs )
Guys. Wait, now hold on.
( laughing )
Release your chi on impact now.
( grunts )
You all right?
- I'm-- I'm-- Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Give you a break.
So that's a little taste of what we're gonna be doing.
Right. Nice, yeah?
- Okay, ten percent, ten percent. - ( Kevin screams )
- Yeah. - ( bleep )!
( laughs ) Look at that.
( music playing )
What do you want? You just calling to check on me?
Eniko:
Oh, I'm sorry. Because I'm a ( bleep ) knight.
- Mm-hmm. We don't have phones. - Did knights have phones back then?
- No. - We don't have phones.
- We're in character. -
If I was Kevin, I would've called you.
- Yeah. - I'm not Kevin.
I'm Lord-- I'm Lord Kevin.
There's a big difference.
Lord Kevin and this is Lord Jason.
- Hi. - ( high-pitched voice ) Hi!
Hey, how you doing? Hi.
- Jason, Lord Jason. - Lord Jason, we talked about your voice.
Yeah. Hey, guys.
All right, so, have you guys ridden before?
- Damn right I have. - I have not.
So you're pretty comfortable? You have not ridden before.
I've never sat on a live horse.
- You've never sat on a horse before. - No.
- Yeah, don't-- Don't sit on your balls. - Oh, boy!
- Don't sit on my balls? Yeah, good move. - Yeah, don't sit on your balls.
- That's a bad idea. You don't want to do that. - Thanks. All right.
All right. Oh. I need those steel balls we had earlier.
Your hair looks great, man.
( music playing )
Oh, my God. Damn it!
All right, the good news is your balls will be a little bigger after this.
- I doubt it. - No?
I think they're gone.
I think they've crawled into my stomach.
- Man. - Jason: Oh, Lord.
Nothing's had to work harder than my balls.
( music playing )
You enjoy yourself, kid.
- Possibly, possibly. - Yup.
It's not an accomplishment. Okay?
It's not-- It's not a win.
- You did nothing. - Give me my sword back.
- Get out of here! - You did nothing.
( music playing )
Each knight will compete in raising their lance.
The champion that acquires the most rings shall win.
( cheers and applause )
( booing )
( chanting ) Jason!
The light was in my eyes, my Lord.
Audience: ( chanting ) Jason!
I didn't have my sunglasses, my Lord.
Announcer: Now let us begin our second test.
A spear throwing competition.
Throw and then release.
Yeah.
There it is, hot dog.
Hot dog!
( booing )
That was very close.
- I had it. - Just the tip.
- Boo! - Announcer: Kevin Hart was closer to the target.
He shall be proclaimed victor of this second event.
( chanting ) Kevin!
( sighs )
- So-- - Kevin-- Oh.
- Kevin-- I got it. I got it. - No, no, Jason. There you go.
For more jousting action,
what I want you guys to do is go check out my YouTube channel,
Laugh Out Loud, and subscribe.
Why? Because I said so.
If you don't do it, I'll go Medieval on your ass.