Emptiness
Hello there.
One persistent feeling state
that many people struggle with,
is the feeling of emptiness.
Self help gurus will tell you
that if you feel empty before a relationship,
you'll feel empty during a relationship.
But that still leads to the question:
"If we do feel empty inside,
what are we supposed to do about it?
Emptiness is like an inner void.
Often times it is so painful,
that the word emptiness doesn't really cover it.
It feels more like a starvation or an inner vacuum,
or black hole or chasm.
The most important quality though, to recognize,
is the lack.
Emptiness is a state of lack.
And lack tip us off to the fact that we are missing something.
The key is finding out exactly what we are missing.
Exactly what we are lacking.
What is it that you lost?
When we are young our consciousness,
sometimes referred to as our soul,
is fractured.
It's fractured when we encounter traumatic experiences.
When we encounter a traumatic experience,
that particular experience
causes part of us to stay frozen in time.
Because it is unresolved.
when that aspects of us remains frozen in time,
it doesn't come with us into the now.
It becomes a wound that sticks with us,
that continues hurting,
that keeps alerting to the fact
that there is some aspect of us
which isn't completely whole.
I discussed this concept in my video on YouTube titled:
Projection.
Now here is the part that applies to a feeling of emptiness;
When we are young,
if we are traumatized
by our needs not getting met,
that particular aspect of us
that is frozen in time,
has an unresolved, unmet need.
Because of the law of attraction,
we experience that need being unmet
in present time as well.
So often the thing we're lacking or missing
is that need that we have not met
at the time in our past that the trauma occurred.
For example, say we were wounded as a child
because we felt no sense of belonging with our family,
that lack of belonging becomes a traumatic imprint.
We feel the lack of belonging
and that is really what the emptiness in our adult life is about.
When we feel emptiness because it is like an internal starvation,
it is so acutely uncomfortable
that we do anything we can get away
from that particular feeling.
And many self help experts will tell you
that if people feel an inner emptiness or a void,
that they will try to fill that void,
But I'm here to tell you today,
that what people do is exactly the opposite.
In fact the very problem is
they're not trying to fill the void
by finding out what need it is
that they have that is unfulfilled.
Instead, they try to distract themselves
away from the void,
with things like shopping,
things like sex,
things like drugs,
things like food.
I will tip you off to the fact that the majority of people
who struggle with a chronic sense of emptiness,
had parents who are incapable
of intimate relationships with them.
What that means is, that they had parents
that were incapable of emotional connection.
True they may have had parents that took care of them in every way
on a physical level,
but they did not feel seen,
they did not feel heard,
they did not feel understood
and they did not feel validated
by their parental figures.
Not only did this wound them,
and withhold the gift of presence from them,
it also made them subconsciously conclude,
that there in in fact must be nothing there inside them.
Emotional neglect
is the number one cause
of the inner void within people.
For this reason,
self love
is the absolute most important thing
for people who feel
that inner void or that emptiness.
This year actually, in May 2015,
I'm releasing a book that's called:
Shadows Before Dawn (Finding the Light of Self Love in Your Darkest Times)
So for those of you who are curious
about how to love yourself,
take a look at that particular book.
But if you struggle with a sense of emptiness,
try to figure out what it is exactly
that you feel empty of.
Interesting question isn't it?
"If I feel an emptiness,
it must be that I'm lacking something."
"What is it that I'm lacking?"
"Is it a sense of belonging?"
"Is it a sense of meaning?"
"Is it a sense of purpose?"
"Is it interpersonal connection?"
Maybe what you will find,
is that the reason you so empty is because you're really lonely.
Whatever it is that you discover that you're lacking,
you want to try to manifest that.
So apply your manifestation skills
to achieving that thing
which your life is void of.
Now one of the best ways I've found
of manifesting something,
is to begin getting yourself into the vibrational set point
of that thing you want to manifest,
by looking at your life
in terms of how you already have that thing that you want.
So if I'm lacking belonging,
how do I belong in my life right now?
The next thing you want to do,
is to meet your needs.
This step is absolutely imperative,
but of course we've run up against another wall.
Why? Because majority of people
who are in the self help field
and who are in the spiritual field,
have this idea that needs are not OK.
Well that's a problem.
Why? Because absolutely everybody has needs.
Regardless of whether you want to admit it or not,
you have needs.
What makes a need painful is when we think
we can't get what we need.
And often the reasons we think we can't get our need met,
is because we think we have to meet the need ourselves,
by ourselves,
as if it's possible to be able to be an island unto ourselves.
The river doesn't drink itself my friends.
Many times the empowering thing
is not just to meet a need ourselves,
it is to instead take action,
to get up and go find someone
to meet the need,
or to open up so someone else can meet the need.
For example, if your need is for company,
you don't need to spend your time trying to figure out
how to be your own company,
just go find company.
Also, anytime we feel that internal void
or that emptiness within us,
it's important that we gift that void
our unconditional presence.
I developed a process for this,
which I unveiled
in my video that is titled:
How to Heal The Emotional Body.
So when you feel that inner void,
I want you to do that process,
and instead of trying to avoid
that emotional emptiness,
trying to get out of it,
or trying to distract yourself with something,
what I want you to do is the exact opposite,
I want you to sink down into the void,
to give it unconditional presence
and focused attention.
I want you to give it company.
Also this process will allow you
to bring those fractured aspects of yourself,
which are in fact,
the causation of this inner void,
back with you into the present moment,
so that you can integrate that aspect of yourself
and become whole again,
so that void literally no longer exists.
We often think
that that inner void or that emptiness
that is chronic within us,
is one of the most difficult problems to solve.
When in fact it's one of the easiest
problems to solve,
because it really is just a matter
of finding that we were wounded
because needs of ours were not met,
and then it is a matter of meeting those unmet needs.
Have a good week
Subtitles by: Tanya Duarte www.tanyaduarte.com