18 Relationship Mistakes to Avoid
No.1, Not taking time for yourself and being too co-dependent.
If you spend every waking moment with your significant other, you will ultimately lose
who you are as an individual.
Things like going to the store on your own will be hard and you will find yourself consulting
that person for every small decision you make.
Take some time to do what you love.
Have your own hobbies, interests and friends.
You will both benefit from this and have a richer life as a result
No.2, Saying “nothing is wrong”.
Some issues or insults can seem so obvious that you can’t imagine your partner not
realizing they did something wrong.
So rather than discussing the problem, you stay silent and sulk about how they don’t
seem to care that you are upset.
When asked, “What’s wrong?”
it’s so much easier and less painful to say “nothing.”
It’s a momentary band-aid, but the problem remains.
You either stay angry and resentful, or you move on and sweep the unresolved issue under
the rug, which only gives it the opportunity to arise days, weeks, or months later with
even greater ugliness.
No.3, Losing the romance in the relationship.
Losing the romance in the relationship is one of the key reasons why relationships fail.
It is easy to become complacent and slack on making an effort for romance.
The truth is, relationships are work.
Not that you won’t have any fun along the way, but you need to remember it takes a focused
effort to be romantic with your partner.
No.4, Comparing your partner to an ex.
The human mind naturally looks for patterns.
When we experience a situation that’s even remotely similar to something from our past,
we draw conclusions based on that past experience.
This is how we improve our lives and learn, after all.
But when it comes to relationships, this logic can be detrimental.
For example, let’s say your ex took a long time to return your calls when he or she was
losing interest in the relationship.
Lately, your current partner hasn’t returned your calls quickly.
Conclusion: Your current partner is no longer interested in you.
Wrong!
Fight your brain’s addiction to patterns and remember that every single person and
situation is unique.
This is not to say you shouldn’t learn from your past or set standards for yourself.
Rather, keep an open mind and afford each person a clean slate.
One final note: Never, ever say to your significant other, “My ex did that all the time.”
Comparing someone you care about to someone you don’t is incredibly hurtful.
No.5, Forgetting to appreciate your partner.
Lastly, never forget to tell your significant other, “thank you”, or “I love you.”
At the beginning of the relationship, you surely noticed all of the kind things that
he or she was doing for you, and praised him or her accordingly.
You said you loved each other all of the time.
Sometimes we forget how awesome the other person is, until we think about it.
Tell your significant other right now how you feel about them!
No.6, Holding back.
Give generously to your partner without expecting your kindness to be returned.
Don’t be afraid of loving too much.
Women, especially, often fear that showing too much interest makes them seem needy or
clingy.
If you want to be cautious at the start of a relationship, that’s completely understandable.
But once you’re both in it for the long haul, give as much as you can.
If your significant other shows affection less openly and often, resist the urge to
match their ways.
Instead, communicate with your partner about how you need to receive love.
Expressing love and showing kindness, will never serve you wrong.
No.7, Keeping secrets from your loved one.
This is something that goes along with keeping communication open—do not keep secrets.
Not that you have to tell the other person every minute detail about your life, but you
should not intentionally keep something major from them.
You know it is a secret that needs to be shared, when you feel even slightly guilty for not
telling them.
It will come out eventually, and sooner is always better than later.
No.8, Not talking about money.
Money is always a tricky subject.
You might have come from different backgrounds.
If one person grew up wanting for nothing and the other has always had to pinch pennies,
there may be some disagreements over how money is spent.
If you are in a serious relationship, even if you have separate money, be sure to discuss
these things as money issues are guaranteed to come up eventually.
No.9, Threatening to break up This is a dangerous mistake that places a
dark cloud over relationships long after a heated argument has passed.
The most fundamental part of a mature relationship is remaining committed in the lowest of times.
By threatening to break up, even if you’re saying it out of frustration and don’t really
mean it, you’re abandoning your partner in a cruel and cowardly way.
You’re basically saying, “I’ll love you until” or “I’ll love you only if.”
Threatening to break up is a selfish power play that benefits neither person.
Avoid playing that card at all costs.
When emotions have cooled, you’ll be so glad you did.
No.10, Not taking differences in core values seriously.
Even though you like the same music, and enjoy spending time with one another, you will still
have a hard time getting past major differences.
Core values include things like religion, morality, and the importance of things like
family, friends, careers and money.
Take some time to discuss these things, before you move your relationship forward, or you
might be in for disappointment later.
No.11, Fighting about everything.
On the opposite end of the spectrum, do not make everything an argument.
Think about all of the problems you have with your partner, and really consider whether
these are deal breakers, or if you can build a bridge and get over them.
No.12, Constantly questioning your relationship.
Do you sit around wondering whether you, and your partner will still be together next week,
next month, or next year?
Do you take signs of preoccupation expressed by your partner, as evidence of his or her
disinterest in you?
Questioning your relationship means that you doubt it will last, and therefore may be less
likely to feel comfortable about commitments you make about the future.
If you’re always looking for a “Plan B,” your partner may sense this, and the relationship's
future demise could then become a likely prospect.
No.13, Being too clingy.
It’s understandable to want to spend a lot of time together at the beginning of a relationship,
but if you want things to last, and continue along in a healthy manner, give your partner
their space.
Calling and texting multiple times a day, and trying to make daily plans can seem like
overkill.
Remember that you have a life of your own, and it’s much healthier to give your partner
their space.
No.14, Getting too serious, too fast.
Even if he or she seems like “the one”, and you can picture your future children,
pets and house where you’ll throw backyard barbeques, take a second to step back and
chill out.
Getting too serious, too soon can put a lot of unnecessary pressure on a relationship,
and has the potential to scare off your partner.
No.15, Trying to control.
Many of us either have control issues, or things that the other person does that drive
us crazy.
Both of these scenarios can lead to us wanting to control, or comment on every move the other
person makes.
Think about it though, would you like someone telling you what to do every waking minute?
You are not this person’s parent.
If he or she is a grown adult, treat them like one.
No.16, Getting jealous for no reason.
Jealousy can put an immediate damper on relationship, especially if it’s in no way warranted.
If you find yourself getting jealous every time he or she checks her or his phone, or
feeling the need to question where she or he is, and who she’s or he's with minus
any proof of wrongdoing, you could end up pushing your partner away.
No.17, Expecting perfection.
We are all human.
We all make mistakes.
Do not hold your significant other to some unrealistically high expectation.
This is especially hard for those of us who hold unrealistically high expectations for
ourselves, but that’s another topic altogether.
No.18, Trying to change the other.
Seeing your partner as an improvement project is a recipe for disaster!
No one likes to think they need to be fine-tuned or changed.
Needless to say, it gives the impression that they are not quite good enough.
If that's the case, why are you with that person?
the Solution is to Remind yourself that no one is perfect, including you.
Appreciate your partner’s good qualities, and if somehow you are hurt, or offended by
certain words or behaviors, communicate it kindly and positively.
Seek to inform rather than criticize