(patient moans)
- Your breath smells like shit.
(light whimsical music)
- I spend all this time and energy working on your teeth
and you won't even smile at me.
- I can tell you flossed this morning
and not a single time before that.
- Now you don't need this many shots of Novocaine but
I'm a little hung over and I might mess up.
- I like asking you questions when you can't respond
'cause I think it's hilarious.
- You know I've always found the
human mouth a disgusting place?
- I could take care of this in 20 minutes right now but
let's spread this out over three appointments.
- To be perfectly honest, I hate going to the dentist too.
- I never go to the dentist.
- Feel those little chunks in your mouth?
That's your shattered teeth.
- How come you never ask me any questions?
I have a life.
- Oops. That wasn't the right tooth.
- Do you want bubblegum or mint flavor,
because you're an adult?
Bubblegum.
- It really doesn't matter what flavor you choose,
they all taste like wiper fluid.
- It's just gonna be a tiny pinch.
- [Patient] Ow.
- Of excruciating pain.
- I hate Finding Nemo.
- Suction.
(suction tool whirs)
(laughs) It's never not funny.
(teeth clack)
- Bite me again and I'll smack you,
I don't care if you're five.
- This guy's got a nicer smile than I do.
You're gonna need braces.
- She does all the work, I'm just here for show.
- Four out of five dentists agree that you're an asshole.
- You think this is scary? Wait till you see the bill.