- I, Tom Brady, am officially retiring from the NFL.
I look forward to staying at home
and spending time with my family.
(kids screaming)
- Hello, Earth to Tom.
It's me, Gisele, your Brazilian super model wife.
- Oh, hey babe.
- Do you recognize the perfect Brazilian accent?
Babe, can you do the dishes?
- Yeah.
- Thank you!
- Say, babe? - Yes?
- Can you remember to call me Tom Brady?
- Oh, yes.
I'm sorry, I forgot.
Tom Brady, can you do the dishes?
- Yep, on it.
- Tom Brady, can you clean up the toy room?
- Yep.
Ugh.
- Tom Brady!
Can you do a load of laundry?
- On it.
- Tom Brady.
Can you be a GOAT and go to the store
and pick up a few things?
- Vanilla.
- Tom Brady, Tom Brady, Tom Brady, can you walk the dog?
- Gronk, don't post up on me like that, let's go.
Come on.
- Hey, I know you.
- Yeah, I'm Tom Brady.
Seven time Superbowl champ?
- No, no, no.
- The GOAT?
- No, I'm not a farmer.
I know what it is, our kids go to swim lessons together.
You were the one that forgot snack last week, weren't you?
All right, Tim, well, see you later. (chuckles)
(melancholic music)
- Oh, Tom Brady.
That a lot of cereal.
- Seven bowls.
- Is this some sort of sad Superbowl reference, Tom Brady?
Okay, now Tom Brady, you are the GOAT of the NFL,
but now it is time that you are the GOAT of this family.
- The GOAT of our family?
Gisele, box this back up.
(upbeat drumbeat)
You're Tom Brady, you're the GOAT.
Babe, I'm taking out the trash.
(grunts)
There we go, Gronk.
Who wants a sandwich?
Yes!
Eight grain, hut!
Seven times Superbowl champ.
Seven times.
- Daddy!
- Whoa.
- Dad, I want a hug.
- I know a sack when I see one.
Deep, deep.
Deeper.
Oh, that's a catch.
(air hissing)
(upbeat drumbeat) (air hissing)
All right, Tom Brady, Jr.
Your mom says only 15 minutes of tablet time,
but I say if you wanna be the best at this game,
you gotta put in the time.
Seven hours minimum.
- Tom Brady, can you please pass the mash potato?
What are you doing?
Tom, what are you doing, Tom?
Oh, Tom Brady!
- Babe, you can't ask me to pass and not expect
a perfect spiral.
- Give it up, Tom Brady.
- I can't do this, I'm Tom Brady, I'm the GOAT!
I'm the greatest of all time!
- You're making me scream in my Brazilian accent!
(Tom screaming)
Oh, Tom Brady.
(kids laughing)
Tom Brady.
- Babe, I've been at home for one month,
and this is too hard.
Tom Brady needs to go back to work.
- You think it'd be easier to get your brain smashed in
by 300 pound linebackers than be at home with us?
- Correct.
- Tom Brady, you have seven Superbowl rings
and only one wedding ring.
What ring is the most important, Tom Brady?
Which is your favorite ring?
- The next one.
(upbeat rock music)
- Oh, Tom Brady.
That's my GOAT.
(goat bleats)
(baby babbling)
- You gotta make that block, you hear me, Gronk?
You hear me, Gronk?
You gotta make that. (laughs)
You hear me, Gronk?
I can do this.
You hear me, Gronk?
You gonna make that block, you hear me?
It went right in my mouth.
- [Man] Giving you kisses.
- You hear me?
You gotta get open.
We need this, you gotta get open, you gotta make that.
- [Man] Right on your gum.
- All right, you ready, you ready?
Let's do this. (laughs)
I can't. (spits)
Sorry, Simon, you're not gross, it's me.