>> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY, WE'RE BACK WITH ELVIS COSTELLO.
YOU HAVE AN AUDIBLE BOOK HERE, AN AUDIO BOOK.
"HOW TO PLAY THE GUITAR AND WHY."
IT'S AVAILABLE ON AUDIBLE RIGHT NOW.
I'LL START WITH WHY.
WHY PLAY THE GUITAR, ELVIS COSTELLO?
>> THE KEY WORD IN THIS TITLE IS "PLAY," IS "PLAY."
BUT NOT PLAY AS IN A SERIOUS THING.
I'M NOT-- YOU MAY HAVE NOTICED I'M NOT A CONCERT PIANIST.
I'M A GUITAR PLAYER THAT KNOWS A HANDFUL OF CHORDS SOME GOT A BIT
MORE COMPLICATED, I'LL ADMIT.
I HAD TO STUMBLE AROUND ON THE GUITAR.
NOW, HERE'S THE THEORY I HAVE: ANYBODY WHO HAS EVER PLAYED THE
GUITAR IN "C," WHICH I KNOW I'VE SEEN YOU DO-- ENCOUNTERS A
MECHANICALLY NEARLY IMPOSSIBLE CHORD, THE CHORD OF "F," THE
NEXT ONE YOU'RE LIKELY TO ENCOUNTER.
AND MANY PEOPLE IN THE HUMAN RACE HOLD THE GUITAR AGAINST THE
WALL, SMASH IT, AND THEN GO ON A MURDEREROUS RAMPAGE THROUGH
LIFE.
WHICH IS WHY WE HAVE DICTATORS AND CERTAIN TYPES OF SADISTIC
KIND OF CHIROPRACTOR, AND, YOU KNOW, MURDERERS.
THEY'RE ALL EXGUITAR PLAYERS THAT ARE FRUSTRATED.
I THOUGHT IF I COULD SHOW PEOPLE HOW FOOLISH YOU HAVE TO FEEL
BEFORE YOU LEARN THE FEW CHORDS THAT CAN UNLOCK A SIMPLE
THREE-CHORD, FOUR-CHORD VONG-- ONCE YOU LEARN 4 CHORDZ YOU CAN
PLAY ABOUT 1,000 SONGS.
ONCE YOU DO THAT, YOU CAN SAY I'LL SHOW OFF IN FRONT OF MY
FRIENDS OR SERENADE MY TRUE LOVE OR WRITE A SYMPHONY, AS YOU OF I
KNOW YOU HAVE DONE.
YOU MIGHT WANT TO LEARN ALL THE CHORDS.
>> Stephen: I NEVER GOT THAT "F" BAR CHORD.
I NEVER GOT THE "F" BAR CHORD.
>> PLAY LIKE A CHILD, ACT LIKE A CHILD.
>> Stephen: SAY THAT AGAIN.
>> PLAY LIKE A CHILD, PLAY AS A CHILD DOES, WITH JOY, AND KEEP
THE INNER IDIOT ALIVE.
>> Stephen: WELL, I'M IN FAVOR OF THAT.
( APPLAUSE )
ONLY TO BE A FOOL WHILE SPRING IS IN THE WORLD.
SPEAKING OF THE CHILD, THE NEW ALBUM IS CALLED "THE BOY NAMED
IF."
WHO IS THE BOY NAMED IF?
>> IT'S LIKE YOUR IMAGINARY FRIEND, WHICH A CHARMING
INVENTION CHILDREN MAKE WHEN THEY'RE SEVEN FOR HAVING BROKEN
A CUP.
"OH, IT WASN'T ME.
IT WAS JIMMY."
SOME IMAGINARY FRIEND.
OR CHARLIE OR HORACE.
AND THEN WHEN YOU GET A LITTLE OLDER, YOU START SAYING, "WELL,
I HAD TO STAY OUT TILL 3:00 A.M.
I HAD TO, YOU KNOW.
I HAD TO SLEEP WITH HER BECAUSE SHE MADE ME.
IT WAS MY OTHER SIDE.
IT'S-- IT'S THE ALIBI YOU MAKE FOR YOUR TRANSGRESSIONS.
AND IT'S A LITTLE LESS ENDEARING.
I THINK IT'S A LITTLE KNOW-- SO, I THOUGHT, WELL, LET'S FOLLOW
THAT STORY.
WHEN YOU HAVE THE GUITAR IN YOUR HAND AND THE "F" CHORD ISN'T
HOLDING YOU BACK, THE SONGS TEND TO COME OUT OF YOU FAST AND ALL
THE WORDS ARE DRAKD OUT.
AND I HAD THESE SONGS ON THE TABLE IN THE SUMMER OF 2020.
, AND I REALIZED THAT ONCE I'D WRITTEN THEM, THEY WERE SORT OF
LITTLE SCENES FROM DIFFERENT TIMES IN LIFE, GETTING ALL THE
WAY TO BEING A WRETCHED OLD SCOUNDREL LOOKING BACK AT YOUR
SINFUL THINGS.
>> Stephen: YOU ALSO HAVE A BOOK OF REALLY, REALLY, SHORT
STORIES.
>> REALLY SHORT.
>> Stephen: ONE, TWO-PAGE STORIES TO GO WITH IT, ALSO
CALLED "A BOY NAMED IF: 13 SONGS AND 13 FABLES."
WHICH CAME FIRST?
DID THE STORY COME FIRST?
>> NO THE SONGS.
THIS RECORD ALBUM IS WHAT I REALLY LOVE.
THAT WOULD BE MY WAY OF LISTENING IF IT WERE MY CHOICE.
IT'S GREAT YOU CAN GET ALL THE MUSIC INSTANTANEOUSLY, CARRY IT
AROUND WITH YOU, ALL THAT STUFF.
YOU GET TO ENJOY ALL OF IT.
YOU COULD GET A SET.
>> Stephen: BUT A DOUBLE ALBUM IS THE BEST.
>> THEY HAVE TO SPLIT IT FOR THE SOUND OVER TWO DISKS WILL.
IT'S A SINGLE RECORD, 13 SONGS.
THEY TOLD ME ORIGINALLY THERE WAS A SHORTAGE OF VINYL AND I
WAS THINKING OF ASKING IF THEY COULD PRESS IS ON SHELLAC.
>> Stephen: LIKE THE OLD ALBUMS.
>> BUT SHELLAC IS MADE OF BEETLES AND WE DON'T WANT TO
KILL THAT MANY BEETLES TO MAKE MY RECORD ALBUM.
>> Stephen: AND HIGHLY FLAMMABLE.
>> HIGHLY FLAMMABLE, THOSE BEETLES, DOUBLY, AND I THOUGHT
WHAT WOULD BE BETTER THAN THAT, MAYBE A STORYBOOK.
THEY ARE SORT OF LIKE CHILDREN'S STORIES FOR GROWN-UPS.
DISOME SCRIBBLING DRAWINGS AND CARTOONS AND DID AN ILLUSTRATED
STORYBOOK IS WHAT IT IS.
IT'S LIKE A CHILDREN'S STORYBOOK FOR ADULTS.
>> Stephen: YOU'RE GOING TO DO A SONG.
WHICH ONE ARE WE HEARD?
>> I THINK WE'RE GOING TO PLAY "MAGNIFICENT HERD," WHICH IS
ABOUT THE ROLLER COASTER OF LOVE, AND YOU CAN SORT OF-- IT
CAN ALMOST HURT YOU WHEN YOU WANT SOMETHING SO BADLY.
YOU MUST HAVE HAD THAT FEELING, HAVEN'T YOU?
I THINK UP THERE IN THE BALCONY.
DEFINITELY.
YOU WANT SOMEBODY SO MUCH IT ACTUALLY IS THAT LITTLE BIT OF A
TWIST OF THE KNIFE.
SO, YOU KNOW, THAT'S WHAT IT IS.
>> Stephen: "THE ALBUM IS "THE BOY NAMED IF."
THERE IS ALSO A BOOK OF THE SAME NAME.
STICK AROUND FOR A PERFORMANCE BY ELVIS COSTELLO AND THE
IMPOSTERS.
ELVIS COSTELLO, EVERYBODY!
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