How do you get her back
when she's pulling away
or when she's already left?
Stay tuned
we're going to go through the seven principles
or seven steps to get your ex back.
(Music)
So, the king of kings
as far as getting exes back is coach Corey Wayne
and he's got a great video,
which is actually called the seven principles
to get your ex back or something similar to that
and I'm going to actually go through some of
his suggestions.
Now, I do agree with most of what
Coach Corey teaches
but there are a few exceptions.
So, you can take what you will
and decide what you think will work for you
and leave the rest behind.
So, let's just go through
some of the tips that he suggests
and I will kind of give you my take on that
as well as give you my own tips that I think
will work or could work
if they're a little bit different than the coach,
than the coach Corey.
So, the first tip that coach Corey suggests is that
you should not accept the friend zone
under no circumstances
or any circumstances that's my good or English.
Anyways, so here's actually the first thing that
I disagree with in a way.
The contingency for me in my recommendation
is that if you can't be friends with your ex
or the person who's pulling away.
Then absolutely you
should not be friends with them until
you can actually see them with someone else
and be okay with it
like truly and you got to have guts.
Because if you can't do that
then you're not really being a friend
you're there for an ulterior motive,
you want to get her back.
Now, obviously you do want to get her back
or you wouldn't be watching this video
but if you're there trying
to pretend to be her friend
she's definitely going to feel that.
And she's going to know that you want more
and it's going to be not creepy
but she will sense your inauthenticity
about the relationship.
So, the only way you can actually
continue to be her friend
is if you can actually be her friend
knowing that she might be banging other guys
oh, my God.
If you can't do that you can't be friends
because you won't act like a true friend
and the thing is that
there are benefits to the friend zone.
Have done another video on
benefits of the friend zone
and every guy should actually have
several female friends
particularly single female friends
and there's a lot of reasons for that,
but if you can't genuinely
see this person as a friend
and not just want to desperately
get them back in your life
then you can't go to the friend zone.
So, that's the key there.
The reason why coach Cory
suggests absolute no friend zone for anybody
is because most of the people
who are watching this video
or who watch his videos
are not capable of going to the friend zone
and being totally cool with it.
And by being totally cool with that
means also that you're dating other people
because you know if your best friend is like Kyle
you don't give a *** who's he's ***
you're going to be out there
like looking for
chicks for yourself, right?
And you should be.
So, you have to be able to treat your girlfriend
or your past girlfriend
or the girl that's walking away
as though she was Kyle.
All right, Kyle, go for it good for you
bang, bang, bang I'm going to as well.
Now, if you can't do that you can't be friends
so that's the first principle
and then the second thing is that
you need to be able to tell her
what you want from the relationship.
Like if you want to be in a physical
or *** relationship or an intimate
or exclusive or whatever you tell her
what you want from the relationship
and then you leave it that
you walk away from the deal.
So, whoever is willing to walk away from the deal
has the stronger negotiating position
so if she's walked away already
then you're already in the weaker position
and the only way for you
to get back into a stronger position
an alpha position,
which is what she needs from you
because you've shown weakness.
If she's walking away it's because you've shown weakness.
The only way to do this is to
tell her what you want and then say
if you want to give this to me
or if you're willing to
meet me where I need you to be
then great let's talk,
let's get together and do this,
and if not then you walk away forever.
You don't look back, you don't call again,
you don't text, she's dead to you she doesn't exist.
You don't stalk her,
you don't cyber stalk her,
you don't connect with her,
you don't say happy birthday, nothing.
She no longer exists on the planet and you move on
so that's the next thing.
You don't move on without
asking for what you want though
because then how is she supposed to know
if you're even still interested.
You have to be like
confident about what your needs are
and not needy and insecure and desperate
and clingy and all the rest of it
oh, please never beg
oh my God, never beg.
But just be clear and firm
damn it, I've got a dirty mind.
Okay, so be clear about what you want tell her
and then say you know what,
if that works for you get back to me
if not, I'm going to carry on with my life.
And you need to mean it
and you need to be in that head space
when you say this
not in an antagonistic or aggressive way.
But just in a freaking self respect kind of way
so that she knows
that you finally
have some strength back in the relationship
and some self-respect.
Because if you can't respect yourself
or act accordingly, then she can't respect you
and that's part of the reason she's gone.
Or is leaving is pulling away
and these principles apply
whether she's pulling away
or if she's already exited.
So, just keep that in mind you need to get back
into a position of strength and confidence
and being okay on your own.
Otherwise, she is going to feel that
and all its going to do is turn her off
more and she just going to want to keep going.
So, the next point is
if she does come back
or if she does contact you
now it might be a few days it might be a few weeks
it might be a few months
before she even comes back.
But under no circumstances
after you've asked for what you want
and then you walk away
and you're in the no contact zone
like you're not reaching out anymore
she must come to you.
So, if she does reach out to you
then your only goal is to get together
like as coach Cory says
what does he say?
Hang out, have fun, and hook up
that's the goal hang out, have fun, and hook up.
There's no attachment, there's no expectation,
you just want to hang out, have fun, and hook up.
And so, if she does contact you
then that's what you're going to suggest.
Hey, look I'm so glad to hear from you
why don't we get together
and you know do dinner at my place,
which is another suggestion coach Cory has,
which I agree with as well
because if you've already been with this girl
and you're intimate with her or you've had ***
then you want to be in a place where she can relax
and be comfortable and you can move to the bedroom.
Or the couch you know, whatever the counter
when you get to that stage.
So, that's the goal is to be in a position
or a place where it's comfortable
and you can naturally move to the next stages
of the seduction phase
so that you can get her back into bed.
And so again, if she contacts you
then you want to get together
and make sure to keep your interaction
with this really short
like two to three back and forth texts
or if you're on the phone
you know a little bit of conversation
two or three minutes of conversation
but you must close the deal.
So, you're going to close the deal
or you're going to be busy
and you're going to exit the conversation
whether it's a text or you know a phone call
or in person if you have to run...
If you happen to run into her
or whatever like if she shows up.
If she shows up invite her in
don't elongate the conversation
because you want to close the deal
and what's the...
The motto is always leave them wanting more
always leave them wanting more.
So, close the deal
and if she says no then that's okay
then you say hey, you know
but no worries carry on
if you change your mind let me know.
And then I'm kind of busy
so I got to go but have a great day
have a great weekend hope to hear from you soon.
That's it end of conversation
don't beg, don't chase,
don't rationalize, don't...
And here's here's a big tip,
don't try to use logic
because logic doesn't work with women.
It's all about emotions
women make decisions based on emotional input
and that's it.
So, she's already determined
her emotional state of leaving
based on your emotional state
when you were together
or if she's starting to pull away.
she's basing it on where
your emotional state is now.
And there's a high likelihood
that your emotional state translates
into clingy, needy, insecure
and you are placing value on her higher
than you're placing your own value.
You must see yourself as more valuable
than she is.
I know this is sometimes hard
because you put women on a pedestal
and you think that they're out of your league
and then intuitively
and subconsciously she starts to think
that as well and she doesn't want to be with a man
that's lower value than she is.
She needs to feel like she's won the dating game
so keep that in mind as well.
And then the next point is
you need her to do a hundred percent of the chasing.
So, even if she does come over
or if she says okay well maybe
then again it's like
okay, great you know
if you decide you want to then let me know
and you leave it at that
you do not contact her again.
You need to let her come to you
it needs to be her idea.
If it's her idea to come back to you
then she will subconsciously reaffirm that decision
within herself.
She will convince herself subconsciously
that it's a good choice
and people like to be congruent with their choices
so you have to let her chase you.
And that doesn't mean that you're unavailable
it means that you just let her come to you
if you let her initiate the conversation
you still keep them short
your goal in every conversation is to get together,
have fun, hook up, and hang out
like that's your only...
That's from now on in
is hang out, have fun, hook up,
and if you have a tendency to become needy
or desperate or clingy or insecure
then that will have to be your motto
for the rest of your life,
always leave them wanting more.
So, you know if she does start initiating
then great like
you don't have to contact her
because she is going to be contacting you
and you can make plans.
And every time you get together
you hang out, have fun and hook up
and then she keeps coming back to you
now if she doesn't just leave her, leave her be.
Do not chase you can't chase women
because guess what happens? They run away.
They see that they are higher value
then you are of higher value.
So, you need to be out in the world
dating other people
and if you're already in a relationship with her
and she hasn't actually left you quite yet
but she's kind of starting to pull away
you need to start reigning in yourself first
to show her that you need her.
Women don't want to be needed
they want to be wanted, right.
So, we say we want to be needed
but that's not really the biological truth
of what we actually respond to
as far as attraction goes.
So, you need to be a high value guy
out in the world where there's the potential
some other woman
who's actually going to see you and want you
and that creates competition in her mind.
And also shows her that you have higher value
that she risks losing you to somebody else
because she's pulling away.
So, you need to let her come to you
and not chase her
so I can't...
How many times have I said this in this video
do not chase her,
do not act needy, do not try to negotiate,
and I mean I think
I've only pointed out five of the tips
I'll put a link below to
coach Corey's article on this
and his then video as well.
So, I'll link that as well
and you can watch the full video.
It's a little bit more geared towards people
who've been in a relationship,
but the principles are the same
if you are in a relationship
whether she's already left you
and you've been in a long term relationship.
Or if you're just courting
or just in the beginning stages of dating
essentially it's the same thing.
You need her to be you know,
wanting to come to you
and there's things that you can do
that will appeal to her wanting you
and that's about driving up
your own status or your value
and that comes in with
some things you can do about that is make sure
that you have your own hobbies,
your own interests, your own passions.
That you are pursuing a career or a path
or some kind of purpose in life.
Men need to have purpose.
Women need men to have purpose
so that's super important.
And you need to be out in the world
because even if you're right now
you're in a committed relationship
where you've agreed that there's monogamy.
She needs to know
that there is the potential of someone else
is going to grab you.
I'm not meaning grabbing like literally,
but that somebody else
is going to potentially steal you away from her
if she doesn't smarten up
and get back in the sack with you.
So, hopefully that helped
if you want more specifics on this
then definitely write in the comments below
and if you want me to go into
a little bit more detail
about the friend zone as far as getting your ex back
or as far as
how you can kind of play that out a bit more
then let me know and I might do
another video specifically on that.
Because it is very it's a challenge
like most guys won't be able to do that effectively
because they'll just end up counseling her
and ending and she will
run into the arms of some other dude.
Most guys are not strong enough often enough
confident enough to be able to do that,
but there are some benefits
and if you think you might be able to go there,
the key is
are you okay with her *** somebody else?
That's the key if you can't do that
you can't do the friend zone option.
Like, that's the end of the story on that one.
And then one other principle
and I know I've left a couple out
or I have put them out of order,
but there's one other principle
that coach Corey and I both agree on
and that is if you're the one that dumped her
and you're regretting it you can contact her once.
Basically just to say I'm sorry I was a douche bag
and you know I'd actually like to fix this,
I do want to be with you
if you're still interested let me know,
let's work it out once,
just once that's it no more.
And then you leave it at that
and you still go along with the other principles
of what happens if she does contact you
if she doesn't and what to do after that as well.
Here's one thing
is that if you didn't do the dumping
but you know you were
unattached, needy, desperate
nice guy
that was, that basically drove her away
with your insecure little girl behavior
then my opinion is that
and this is something that
coach Cory again will disagree with.
My opinion is that you can send her one message
or one phone call
if you could actually gather the gumption
to be able to say it the way I am saying it
with no neediness no desperatesy
just one last hurrah,
then you can say something like this.
You know what, I am sorry for being
a needy, insecure, idiot.
I was a complete douche bag
I can't believe you put up with me
for as long as you did.
I'm really sorry about that I realized that,
that was such a major turnoff
if you want to give it another go
then you know I would like to
if not I completely understand, have a good life
and I wish you the best so that's it.
You're coming to the conclusion that
holy *** I've driven her away
from my
needy insecure behavior
and I realized that.
And so if you tell her that
and leave it at that
and then don't go back to her ever again
then she might realize that you realized
that you were acting totally beta, totally weak
and now you get it.
So, if you can do that
in the tone of voice with the self confidence,
the still with the attitude
that you're walking away from the deal
and it doesn't bother you if she comes back or not
then I give you permission
to do that one thing,
but if you can't if your voice cracks
or if you're going to try and convince her
or if you're going to wait to get
into a conversation with her
at that moment don't, don't do it
because it won't work.
You will only further drive her away
if you can say that and end the conversation
not going into the conversation at that moment
just saying think about it
and if you want to come back great
and if not I wish you the best
I'm going to carry on with my life as well.
And if she says well, you know what do you mean
just say I realized I screwed up
and I'm not going to be weak anymore
and if you want to get together let's get together
and if not that's okay too
and leave it at that drop the conversation
and if she doesn't ever come back
same thing don't chase her.
Don't chase her, don't chase her, don't chase her,
don't chase her.
Write in the comments below
I promise not to chase her
and if she comes back
then she will know that you have changed
because she left what she believed was a weak man
and she will only come back
if she believes there's a possibility
that you've actually finally gathered your freaking
masculine strength again.
So, that's my final tip
so there's a couple of areas there
where coach Corey and I may differ slightly
but essentially we're on the same page.
So, yeah.
If you have any other additions
write it in the comments below.
So, you lost her.
(Gasps)
Dude, I know it's really painful
like it's like it's physically painful.
It's actually physiologically painful
there's like pain in the heart
and it's like actually physical.
Even though you already know that
because you just want to die sometimes,
don't die it's not worth it.
What do I have in my pocket
that ring any bell?
Hi guys, totally...
My eye brow is driving me crazy
because then you hopefully won't do it anymore
and you can make new mistakes,
make new mistakes.
There, that's where it's going to be so there.
Whatever anyway, all right.
Yeah, thanks bye.
(Music)