- Would you like a alcohol?
- I certainly would, you sophisticated smooth talker.
- Are you seriously trying to make me jealous
by flirting with what is very obviously just three kids
stacked on top of each other under a trench coat?
(lively music)
- What is the message behind your music?
- Are you kidding?
I'm Sarah freaking Lynn.
I'm gonna be sexy forever!
- Uh, this a bad time?
- It's fine.
I can talk to you and also judge
these women's bodies at the same time.
- I love Sarah Lynn.
I grew up on her music, okay.
And she's like an inspiration,
but now she's old and shriveled and broke
and nobody want her anymore, okay.
They want Sextina Aquafina, baby!
- That slippery, slimy, cold-blooded, bug-eyed--
- What's new, pussycat?
- Gekko.
- In the flesh.
- (laughs) How are you?
- What a morning, huh?
- Ana?
- I won't be working with Jurge anymore.
I let him know this morning.
At first he thought I was just doing a really good prank,
but eventually I think he understood.
- You dropped Jurge, Jurge Clooners?
Sexiest man in America, Jurge Clooners?
- Well, I was talking to Wayne.
- Who's Wayne?
- I'm Wayne.
- Wayne's writing an article about me for BuzzFeed.
- [Sebastian] Diann.
Sebastian St. Clair here,
famed billionaire philanthropist adventurer.
Please hold your applause.
- Okay?
- Well, you can applaud a little.
- Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Hold up.
- If your story can have Princess Diana,
why can't mine have Emperor Fingerface?
- It's not actually Princess Diana, she's just named Diana.
- I been picturing Princess Diana.
- The show came to me when I was in rehab.
I realized I'm only here on this Earth for a bit,
why not dig deeper?
- Hah.
- Don't get me wrong, BoJack,
I'm proud of the seven years I spent on Krill and Grace.
- That show did so much for the way
society views krill people.
- What are you doing here?
- Wanna get a drink?
- It's eight in the morning.
- Well, it's 5:00 p.m. in Los Angeles.
- That's not true. - I actually don't know
what time it is.
- You, that dress is hideous.
Go home, burn it, and come back.
When we know what we know about a monster like that,
and we still put him on TV every week,
we're teaching a generation of young boys and girls
that a man's reputation is more important
than the lives of the women he's ruined.
- As your accountant,
I felt it necessary to do this in person.
- Us too, because we're really accounting on you.
- Oh no. - To get in
on the ground floor of this exciting new-
- Oh no, no, don't do this, please God, no.
- Hello, drug merchant.
Is it lit under here?
- What?
- Are there illegal pharmaceuticals available for purchase?
And please, talk into my lollipop.
- So, you're the famous Yolanda?
- I'm not famous, you might have me confused
with another more famous Yolanda.
- I know, I just meant because Todd talks about you so much,
I feel like you're famous.
- Steve, you still fixing up your truck?
- You're thinking of Emily's old boyfriend,
Firefighter Steve Demarco.
Yeah, I'm Firefighter Steve D'Mazio.
We're very different.
- Computer BoJack had so much charisma and screen presence,
we ended up going back and replacing you in every scene.
- Wait, so I'm not in the movie at all?
- Well, not technically,
but computer you is giving the performance of your career.
(dramatic music) - It is now day three
of the great BoJack jerk-off.
Really?
That's the name we came up with for this?
Who came up with that?
Was it Randy?
Did Randy come up with that?
- Um?
- It's me pickles, from before.
Pretty cool you're dating a celebrity.
- Okay. - I'm also dating a celebrity.
- Wow. - Should we start a club?
I call Vice President.
- So, to be clear, my drought plan
is actually a drought relief plan.
I see now how that's confusing.
Any other questions?
- Are you going to race Mr. Peanut Butter?
- Any questions about the drought plan?
- I talked to 23 women today,
and none of them were my mother.
How did you find me?
- I went to everyone on that list.
- You talked to all those women?
Someone them-
- Really haven't aged well, I know.
- I was gonna say really hate you.
- Okay, what if we got relevant superstar,
David Copperfield, to make the World Trade Center disappear?
- Oh, I hate to be the one to tell you this,
but David Copperfield really isn't a big draw anymore.
- You're a cat.
- And you're a mouse.
I think I know how this ends.
(both laugh)
- Well, let's not waste each other's time,
and cut right to the chase.
It was nice to meet you, uh?
- Ralph Stilton.
It was nice to meet you.
May all your disasters be this easy to avoid.
- Hey girl, just checking up on
that applicable content you were working on.
I'm doing a new fully-immersive 3D spin class.
Oh you know what?
I'm just biking.
- Do you love your character?
I mean-- - Do I love
Internal Affair's director Sassy Malone,
whose primary character traits are that she hates bras
and loves cold rooms?
Not especially, it feels gratuitous and male-gazey.
- Judah!
Can I get your John Wilkes Handcock?
- Oh I never developed a signature.
I find them unnecessarily ostentatious.
But I can print my name legibly.
- Thank you, Rain Man Bun.
That'll do nicely.
- Vincent Adultman, how are things at the old nine to five?
- Good, I went to the stock market today.
I did a business.
- [Princess Carolyn] I keep telling him he works too hard.