- We're streaming into the void Clara,
into the void of the internet.
(chuckles)
- We're, feeding content.
- Oh wait, is it working now?
- [Clara] We're back.
- Oh, my goodness.
Yes, hello.
We are back.
Everything is working.
Delightful, delightful.
I am delighted and happy to be back with everyone.
I don't know whether this is the same stream
or whether this has started as a new video.
We're not yet clear on that
because we're using a new encoder for the live streaming,
which means that we can have subtitles.
Because if you've watched one of my live streams before,
you know that we didn't have subtitles and now we do,
which is magnificent, excellent, right.
For anyone who missed the start of this little stream,
I'm gonna tell you what's going on.
So, captions of live streaming amazing
to test them and see how good they actually are
today in this lovely, calm, beautiful livestream.
I'm going to be reading to you from the book
on how to be the perfect modern woman,
written in the 1930's so, modern is subjective,
but we will be learning all about wonderful things
like the right corsets to wear to the beach,
why bathing is important and exactly
what you should be doing for your hackler.
Oh hello and Life on the Batteries
has been our first super chat of the day
and says they're doing a project on pots this summer
that it's very fun.
All right, I'm going to get you all to vote
using colored emojis,
to tell me what you would like to hear about first.
Is it the importance of liquids?
Oh does seem important.
Is it the ideal foot or is it the types of people?
So, vote with a red heart
if you would like to know about liquids,
a blue heart, if you'd like to know about the ideal foot
and a yellow heart if you'd like to know
about the types of people.
And now I wait for ages because your chat is delayed for me.
So we'll see.
I'm literally just waiting for colors to pop up.
No, there's nothing yet.
Oh, I've got pink.
People are giving me pink.
Oh, hello.
I've seen three blue hearts.
Oh, this is a mixture.
Oh God, actually.
Wow, that was a lot of yellows certainly, boom.
Okay, I'm going to say that the winner is yellow.
The types of people.
Let's begin.
(clears throat)
Are you a big blonde, a baby blonde,
a steaky brunette or the petite variety?
Please try not to be offended by the way,
by anything in this book.
I'm already offended and I've only just started reading it.
Blondes, the big blonde is the tall,
often highly colored type, needing very careful makeup,
careful clothes, and very often a careful diet
for whisper the words she is inclined to be plump.
How dare you?
How very dare you book?
How very dare you?
She looks magnificent in cloths with sweeping lines,
by reason of her lovely figure,
but it should be aware of ultra-fashions,
which tend to cause some her appearance.
You know what?
Actually, no, whatever the hell you like.
The baby blonde is the eternal little girl.
She can wear fluffy, frilly clothes.
Again, no startling fashions.
Lots of girls' rouge with a hint of tangerine, really?
And in general dressed in China ad.
No, I think you'll find, if you're a blonde
and you'd like to be a golf,
you go ahead and you'd be a don golf, all right.
Don't you listen to this crazy book.
Brunettes, the steaky brunette is really the showgirl
of the family.
Do you have a brunette in your family?
Is she the show girl?
Is that a thing?
She can look positively ill-favored
and yet maintain or represent a reputation for chic
that the other types would give their hairs to possess.
Only brunettes can be chic, ladies and gentlemen and others.
Only brunettes.
Great wonderful, good to know.
She can wear ultra clothes with a most distinguished hair.
She can experiment with her ego filled,
without looking cheap.
Makeup suits her wonderfully or again
she can look equally striking without any at all.
Wow, all right.
Well, it's all over for everyone else.
If you're brunette, you have apparently one life,
the rest of us give up now, give up now.
Lucky brunette, your charm lies
in the fascinating contrast of your dark hair
and creamy skin.
I see where they're going now, right, well.
That's enough about types.
Would we like to now learn about the ideal foot?
Of course, we would.
Be prepared.
I hope you've got your foot uncovered in front of you.
Are you checking it?
You should be.
I'll be looking at mine.
It's there.
I don't know if you can see it because these legs,
but it's there, right.
The ideal foot.
Thank you for that supper chat Sophie.
I didn't notice we have a new man who will be joining us.
Hello Fiona.
Welcome to the Kellgren-Fozard Club, thank you very much.
Right, so we've already learned that brunettes
are the wonders of the world.
Pick human, well done to them.
Now we're going to learn about the best foot.
The ideal foot is narrow and slim.
The heels soft and rounded, rosy in color
and the skin unblemished.
Are our foots fitting these?
Have we probably seen our feet?
The toe should lie flat.
I'm already ruined, all my toes are carved, sorry.
No, I was so close, with a great term
and little apart from its neighbors.
It should be possible to draw a straight line
from the inside of the great toe along the arch of the foot
to the heel.
Oh, straight, narrow, slim feet here people.
That's what we're after.
We would like a large gap between the big toe
and the other toes, very important.
Those little toes should all live very flat on the ground.
No carving.
I mean, I'm out, I'm ruined.
My feet are terrible, clearly.
Oh, disgusting.
Oh hello, welcome Steve
Also, a lovely new member
and thank you for that super chat Bookish Dancer.
I hope you guys have got good feet because I don't
so you gonna be making out for me, right.
The next time the feet are wet,
stand firmly upon them on some substance,
which will retain the wet impression,
study the outline and it should show the round Mark
of the heel and the ball of the foot.
Dear Lord, people, the hours that you must put in
to see whether your feet are perfect or not.
Thank you very much for that super chat Paulson,
have I ever been to Denmark?
I actually haven't, but I would love to go to Denmark.
I've heard you have castles
and I am quite partial to a castle.
Let's be honest.
And most of the restaurants are good.
Well, that's exciting too.
And another new member.
Hello, 3000 Smiles.
Is that a lovely name?
You should have 3000 smiles a day.
And hello Thompson.
I'm very much enjoying everyone joining in right now.
Now shoes and stockings for our perfect feet.
Pay attention those of you who do have perfect feet,
you need to know this.
The importance of correctly sized shoes
cannot be overestimated.
Too tight or too large,
they are equally bad for the foot.
Shoes which are too tight cause corns and bunions,
those which are too large bring blisters and calluses
on the heel, and we don't want to ruin our perfect feet,
do we now?
Come on, no, no, no.
They must be very soft, subtle indeed.
Spend as much as can be afforded on good shoes
and stockings.
Actually, I kind of like that is good advice.
I do think that if you look after your feet,
they will look after you
because that's really the one piece of body
that you're going to need to keep going
for a very long time.
Says a girl with terrible feet, so, take my advice.
Don't go down my route.
Now, shall we learn about
how to maintain a youthful complexion,
or how to pat away the lines,
or how to pack your greasy skin.
We're gonna go with,
if you would like to learn about
how to retain your youthful complexion, give me a red heart.
If you'd like to know about how to pat away the lines,
give me a blue heart.
And if you'd like to know how to pack your greasy skin
give me a yellow heart.
Thank you.
Now I wait.
My eye just collapsed.
No, same same friend.
(speaking foreign language)
Whenever I stand up, my feet become flat.
When I take them off the ground,
they incredibly high arched.
I mean, it's just a wonder, isn't it?
It's always fun.
Always something new.
I'm getting a lot of, to be honest guys,
I'm getting a lot of pink hearts,
which you need to handle that.
But I think you're trying to send me red hearts,
but your phones are sending me the wrong ones, all right.
Well, we're gonna go with red
even there is a lot of red and pink.
It's a thing, we're trying.
Okay, this is very apt.
I need to know this apparently.
Round about the 30s, the first-time signals
begins to make their appearance,
so tiny, so faint as to be almost unnoticed,
but so dangerous.
Jesus, I mean, I know I turned 30 this year.
This is me.
I'm dangerous now.
Now is the time to take just that little extra trouble
there'll be repaid a hundred-fold in the years to come.
Stand in a strong north light before a mirror.
Don't do that.
Tiny fine lines around the eyes and nose will be seen.
Great.
The skin becomes more sensitive to wind and rain.
Spring rather is definitely more trying.
The moment is calm for a little extra skin care.
Oh goodness.
Be ready.
Oh, we got another new member.
Hello, welcome Kate.
Nice to have you.
Right, please do not think all day just creeping on
nothing of the sought.
Oh, you just told me that it's dangerous.
You've just told me to be scared,
and now you're telling me I don't have to be scared.
I'm confused.
Let's read on.
Classifying the complexion,
by now we have passed through and overcome these trials
of our early complexion worries.
Spots and pimples, which pains our youth,
are a thing of the past, really?
because I know quite a few people over the age of 20
who still get spots.
I mean, sure.
First, there's the general classification of normal dry
and greasy skins.
The normal skin is that which is smooth
and subtle to the touch.
I bet that's the skin this right things Burnett's have.
They came moist, as the petal of a flower.
Retains powder, does not flush unbecomingly
in a heated atmosphere.
Who doesn't flush in a heated atmosphere?
Actually, sometimes me because
I can't regulate my temperature,
but I don't think that's a great thing
because I get overheated and I faint, sure.
The dry skin usually found in blondes,
is right indefinitely as only against blondes.
Is that which flakes at every provocation.
Sometimes takes unto itself a purple hue,
feels tight after washing
and accumulates wrinkles with astonishing rapidity.
Christ, I mean lay off the blondes.
The greasy skin, often the bugbear of our urban sisters
and in fact, the most common affliction of all
is caused by over secretion of the glands
and gives rise to a sallow relaxed condition.
This book is coming for all of us, all of us,
we're doomed.
Right, among the greases, that's how we call people now.
The greases.
We have the slightly greasy, the course greasy
with its crop of black heads
and strangest of all the dry greasy skin.
Good, good, good, good.
Thank you for the super chat there Gracie, I appreciate it
because I have to go through this drama.
The dry greasy complexion is really
the most trying of all.
The poor unfortunate possesses suffer,
the cracking propensities of the fair dry skin
and at the same time the overactive oil glands
cover their face with a film of grease at every opportunity.
I mean I suppose we should all be terrified,
but I think we should chill
because it's not the most important thing in the world.
I think we're good.
Now we're going to learn about how to patch the skin
and pat away those lines,
which we should apparently all be terrified of and also not.
Confusing book.
No one's really sure what's going on with it,
except that brunettes are amazing
and blondes not so much.
Maybe the writer is blonde.
Maybe it's just a lot of self-hate.
It's unfortunate, right.
Patting the lines away.
Not only should the skin be protected
by applications of food,
but as an extra precaution, indulge in a course of patting.
Treat yourself to one of the many patters on the market.
Is it a paddle that you smack yourself in the face with?
Is it working?
Am I beautiful now?
Okay, now I'm giving up on that one.
I don't like it.
These little gadgets are not only quite inexpensive,
but they are worth their weight in gold.
If the penny is really weren't run to this outlay,
well, here you could just use your hand.
A very good patter can be made out of an ordinary shoe tree.
What?
The thing you use to stretch your shoe,
the kind of small wooden toe,
a steel band and a nob at the other end.
Genuinely guys, we're going to have
to smack ourselves in the face.
This is what's happening now.
Cover the toe with a layer of cotton wool
and a piece of fine coarse,
securing the ends with a rubber band
so the fresh surface can be used to each operation.
We genuinely going to have
to smack ourselves in the face, right.
What?
I'm not ready.
Dip the pad into a good skin tonic
or a stringent and prepare to slap yourself lightly,
but firmly on the face.
This isn't going to go well.
Hold the tree by its wooden nob
and start patting under the chin.
All right, okay.
Now pat along the jaw bone,
from one point of the chin to the neck of the ear.
Lovely.
Pat from the corner of the mouth to the top of the ear.
I think we can all now agree
that this side of my face is more beautiful than this side.
Thanks to the smacking.
Don't worry though.
If smacking yourself in the face is a bit much,
you can seek professional aid.
It would be a wise move to visit a beauty salon
once a month, the expert massage and skin treatment
because we all have time for that.
Also pay special attention to the hands and elbows.
A cut lemon rubbed into the point of the elbows
will whiten the skin and tighten the wrinkles.
I mean, I think I may have a cut lemon.
Should we try?
Are we gonna whiten my elbows?
What do we think?
All right.
Give me red hearts if you'd like me to
get rid of the wrinkles on my elbow,
and a blue heart if you think I can live without it.
Oh my goodness, Tracy, thank you very much
for that super chat.
It came up in red.
I don't know whether that was your intent or not,
but it was red and that seems to imply
I should do something about my elbows,
so, getting a lemon, I'll be right back.
All right.
Oh, actually there's a lot of blue hearts here,
(Clara chuckles) there's a mix.
Why the all reds?
Sometimes I'm getting red hearts,
sometimes I'm getting pink, but it's happening.
Fortunately, I made my wife a smoked salmon
and cream cheese sandwich this morning
so, I had packed lunch,
and she likes to have a squeeze of lemon
on her smoked salmon.
So here we go, I'm ready.
I think my elbows are fine,
but I should be doing this once a month, okay.
I mean, it feels a bit weird.
Kinda covered in lemon now.
I mean guys, this not tiresome to get.
(laughter)
What are you saying Clara?
No, is it working?
Are they beautiful?
No.
I'll say that's beautiful, beautiful.
Is my elbow beautiful now?
- [Clara] Gorgeous.
- Clara says that my elbow is gorgeous now, so we're good.
Can you tell the difference?
Anyone?
(Clara chuckles) - I do.
(laughter)
- And you didn't tell me, you actually can.
- [Clara] It's just they have a weird
differently color right now.
- Clara says that yes, yes.
All right, well, let's do on the other elbow.
Someone wrote an affordable juicer alternative.
Yeah, here it is.
This is what we do for beauty of the elbow.
There are bits in that one, all right, lovely.
Your elbows will smell nice at least.
Yes, they will, Emma, yes they will.
Okay, is there a difference?
Thank you.
10 out of 10 elbow games has caged.
Thanks Kate, I agree.
Yes, great, I mean we've done well.
There we go.
- [Clara] That's hilarious.
- If nothing else from this live stream,
we've improved my elbows, excellent.
Now, we're going to talk about packing for a greasy skin.
Mix a sufficient quantity of toilet oatmeal
into a paste with Witch Hazel.
Apply in the usual way and remove with cool water,
to which has been added a little lemon juice.
We've got another use for the lemons, wonderful.
A greasy skin can be greatly helped
by cleansing with oatmeal.
Excellent.
Those of you with greasy skin,
I would like you tonight to make yourself some porridge,
slap it all over your face
and let me know in the morning how that's gone.
Also, try not to touch anything
that's gonna be gross and get everywhere.
Oh, new member.
Hello, hi Lily.
Nice to meet you.
Welcome to the Kellgren-Fozard club.
If you have greasy face,
please pack it with ovil and let me know.
But don't worry.
If you've got dry skin, I'm not leaving you out.
I'll let you know what you should do.
This is me.
I have kind of dry skin.
I guess I was born with eczema,
literally like across my face.
Even on my eyelids,
I was the most hideous baby you've ever seen.
It was just, eczema everywhere.
Now I have a very dry face
and if I touch anything that I'm allergic to
eczema in the face.
Can't sleep on feather pillows and so on so forth.
Yesterday because it was our anniversary so,
I went to dinner at this amazing seafood restaurant
and I had crab because I'm obsessed with eating hot crab.
Is there anything better?
I don't think so.
It was so delicious.
But my stripe problem with crab
is that I'm allergic to it when it touches my skin,
so, I could eat it, but if it touches my hands, they burn.
All the way home I was scratching my hands
as they were burning.
But you know what?
Still worth it.
It's fine, it's fine.
Someone says "Same, my mum bathed me in oil."
Oh my God.
Eyelid eczema sounds great.
Yes, it was great, it was.
Right, packing for dry skin are we ready?
Break one very fresh egg into a bowl
and mix with the juice of one lemon.
Well, the thing that you can do with a lemon, who knew?
Add enough almond meal to form a thin paste,
cleanse and prepare the face and apply the mixture.
It will probably be found easier
to use the fingers for this pack.
Are you ready?
Oh, hello.
Oh my goodness.
We've got a new member.
Hi Freya and as super chat from someone
whose name I can't say, Clara?
- [Clara] "Sinof".
- Sinof? Is that right?
Sinof.
Clara is learning Swedish for her wife who is Swedish.
- [Clara] But I was no (mumbles).
- But that was Norwegian,
but still - Or Danish.
- Or Danish.
It's still the right area.
I'm going to say, I'm so sorry.
Also, I hope that you're doing a little better later
and I'm glad that this livestream is helping.
And cheer to everyone, who's feeling a bit (mumbles)
and this live stream is helping cheer you up.
I am very happy for that, right.
Now, are you ready?
Have you mixed your fresh egg,
your lemon juice?
And your almond meal?
Wonderful.
Cleanse and prepare the face and apply the mixture
easier to use fingers as its consistency is so light,
that much of the quantity
we be lost if you're using a brush.
Allow to dry in this case about five minutes
until it cracks, nice.
And remove with tepid water to which has been added
a few drops of lemon juice.
Lemons.
Follow this, with the beaten white of an egg
painted over the face.
This is the advantage of you taking a few minutes to apply.
Wait for 20 minutes until hard.
Lovely.
This pack might be used when bathing.
Yes, that's what I love to do.
I love to have a nice long bath
and cook an egg on my face.
Wonderful.
We're moving onto a fantastic thing that I'm pretty sure,
we all need certainly.
No, it's cool.
Concealing figure defects.
Wonderful.
Who of us, has not at one time or another
longed to change something?
Apparently, the defects in this by the way,
are not defects in any way
such as the first defect it lists.
One of the most common trials is the two hollow back.
The two hollow back.
I'm sorry, what?
This is a defect in a human I,
What?
The waist seems to curve in with a sweep.
I mean, is that not just a waist?
Confused.
Try the effect of the large flat flower
or (mumbles) bow placed in the center of the hollow.
I mean, I do love a bow and I do love a flower,
but I'm pretty sure that's just a waist.
If the bust is too generous in proportions,
wear frock with a pointed neck line
and place a large matching flower at the opening.
It will help to disguise the cleavage
and so present a flatter line across the borders.
All right, hang on now.
As a lady with a larger chest than some might imagine.
Yes, when I run, I'll think I got, 28DD/E
depending on the bra.
It's a large chest.
If you tell me to wear a frock with a pointed neck line,
and then to place a humongous flower on top of my boobs,
how is that going to do anything
but attract people's view of my ginormous boobs.
I think everyone's looking now.
No, moving on.
If you are diminutive,
it is advised that all of your clothes are tailor made.
Clara, you're a diminutive person,
(chuckles) otherwise known as short.
- [Clara] Sure.
- Do you have all of your claims tailor-made?
- [Clara] Of course my butler brings them in for me.
- She says yes, her butler brings them in.
Of course, because (mumbles) nowadays.
- [Clara] I definitely don't go to primer.
- No, never primer.
That's not a thing.
Right, well.
Oh, another new member.
Hello Erica?
Lovely to have you and hello Paulsia?
Right, we're now going to learn about,
the art of being popular.
Are we ready People?
Are we ready?
Oh, actually before we do that,
would you like to learn about when to smile?
They'd just be throwing their smiles around.
Oh no.
You have to know when to smile.
There can never be a moment
when it is not worthwhile smiling.
A pleasant expression will carry its own
and through any difficulty and over any trouble.
This does not mean to stay
that the next time you get into a spot of bother
you should smile happily as though
it did not matter in the list.
I agree, actually.
No, wait, I disagree.
I smile all the time.
Just smile, it's fine.
It'll get you through life.
Receive the lecture if there has to be one
with due humility.
And when it is over and all is forgiven
smile gratefully and promise to be a good girl in future.
I'd like to point out this book is not written for girls.
This book is written for women.
Women who apparently get lectured
and then have to smile like a good girl.
I watched the finale of "The Handmaid's Tale" last night
and now I'm getting vibes from this book
and it's just stressing me.
If you're applying for a new job
where your neatest means business might close
and go off to the appointment with a happy expression.
Wow, Thank you.
I had no clue.
I was planning to go to my job interview scowling.
When the great moment arrives,
enter the room with a chuckle smile,
and a branch, good morning.
Sit down if you are asked to,
with neatness and precision and looking alert.
Just a hint of a smile at the corners of your lips.
Are you smiling just with the corners of your lips?
Come on now.
All right, lovely.
Answer the questions you are asked.
Recite your own qualifications concisely.
Produce your own notebook and pencil.
You were asked to take down notes.
Do you (mumbles) to take down notes at a job interview?
Is that normal?
Is that regular?
Have you ever had a job interview?
All right, I've never had a job interview,
but now it definitely, no one's going to ask me
to take down notes.
That seems a bit strange.
Oh wow, every employer likes cheerfulness about him.
Every employer likes cheerfulness about him.
Okay, and though your experience may not be as good
as the next girls', your happy expression and pleasant smile
may tip the scales in your favor
by the impression they have created.
Really?
Above all, try and smile
when there is the hint of quarreling in the air.
Anger and scales leave marks upon the face
far more quickly than anything else.
Oh yeah, that's why they're smiling.
Yes, we're smiling not because we're happy,
not because we want to be friends with people,
not because we are pleasant human beings.
No, we're smiling, so we don't get frowned nines.
That is after all the most important thing.
Wonderful, wonderful.
And lastly, do not keep all of your smiles,
for out of doors.
Bring them into the house and try them
on the members of the family.
Mother would appreciate a smiling, happy daughter
and you will find yourselves suddenly popular,
with your hitherto unresponsive brothers.
Even though you do happen to be a little sister,
who said you were a little sister?
You can prove yourself.
You've spoken Panion and so get taken about to places
where other girls' brothers congregate
because you are a spot.
Want to meet your husband?
Smile at your brothers.
That's the only way.
Oh Christ.
What even as life at this point?
What even is life?
To be fair, if you did start frowning,
you could probably just like rub some lemon on your face.
So moving on to the art of being popular,
what is the secret of popularity?
It's hard to say,
which is the most attractive attribute
of the human character or that which makes a person
welcomed or avoided.
Personally, I think sympathy,
the ability to listen and the willingness to help
are the three most likable qualities any girl can possess.
Oh good.
These are the things that as a young lady you need.
Sympathy, the ability to become a vessel.
Intuition all those troubles, confidences or heartbreaks
can be poured.
You don't have your own feelings girls,
oh no, you just take in other people's.
Lovely, lovely.
Yep, yep, yeah, sure.
Oh my God.
What?
It definitely is bad for the constitution
to bottle all of our worries inside all of us.
Like steam inside a sealed container,
it most and will break out.
And when the upheaval does come,
it brings mental breakdown and hysteria.
Try therefore to cultivate the art of listening.
What about my feelings?
I'm supposed to be listening to everyone else's feelings
so they don't get upset.
But what about my feelings?
I'm waiting for the bit where you're telling me
to talk about my feelings.
No, no, no.
Still waiting.
No, no, no.
Oh, when you are listening to other people's worries,
do not try and tell them of similar instances of your own.
They won't be interested.
They are selfish and they have right to be,
because they are worried.
Wonderful, okay.
When it is all over and she gives a sigh of relief,
just say how sorry you are
and you assure everything will be alright
and any other appropriate expression,
and then go and have a cup of tea.
Well, I mean, if that's not the most British thing
you could possibly do, I don't know what is.
Sure, wonderful.
Good stuff.
Let's move on, shall we?
Oh, what are we going to learn about next?
We can learn about (mumbles).
Oh, okay.
- [Clara] Instead people we're wondering
if there's any bit about how to act
in front of the boy you like?
- Oh, okay, romance.
We're looking for romance.
Beauty in her prime.
Beauty for the not so young.
Cheating the scales, (mumbles) beauty.
Yeah, to be fair, I should just read you the chapters.
Is that fun?
Beauty programs, the hair, the face beautiful,
the finger beautiful, makeup,
sun bathing, personality, short beauty talks and hints.
I don't think that is for short people.
I think that was just in brief.
Diet, what we eat.
Diet, when how to eat.
Drink to health.
Cleanliness within.
All right, care of the skin, the daily dozen,
maintaining suppleness.
Don't we all want to be supple?
It is essential to relax and rest.
Clothes for health, importance of nerves and spine,
the breath of life, eye, ear, nose and throat,
foot health, smoking and drugs, healthy mothers,
healthy and happy.
Shockingly, there is no advice
on how I should find a husband.
I know, I'm just as shocked as you.
Well, who knew would we like to know about,
hello, hello (mumbles) the Jester.
Oh, I got that.
Hi Fiona, thank you very much both of you
for your super chats, much appreciated.
What would we like to learn about clothes for health?
Clothes for health.
We're gonna learn about corsets.
Give me a red heart if you'd like to learn about corsets
or blue heart if you'd like to know about,
oh, scanty is in season.
Pretty sure it means underwear, so fun.
Or a yellow heart if you'd like to know
about the strain of modern times.
- [Clara] While we wait, we have around 20 minutes
in case you want to like
talk like a normal person towards the end.
(chuckles) Clara is like,
- [Clara] About normal things they have.
- Like a story, in case you wanna talk like a normal person.
Okay, I will.
This will be our last reading from the book.
I love the Lifelong Batteries was like,
here's some rainbow hearts, perfect.
Okay, oh, I'm seeing lots of blue.
Now I'm seeing some red, a little bit of yellow,
a little bit of yellow.
What are we seeing?
I'm gonna say red.
Corsets and girdles.
Would you agree?
Wonderful.
Right, 327.
Let's find it.
Ooh, it's a lot in this book about being supple.
It's one of their absolute favorite things to talk about.
Be supple everyone.
Next to the skin.
So you look at corsets and girdles.
Right, are we ready?
- [Clara] I've never been more ready.
- Right, so let's all remember,
this book is from the 30's when corsets were not so popular.
Right.
Ideally, the healthy woman is better
without corsets, girdles
or any other devices to support the figure.
Well, there we go.
I'm happy about that.
These devices tend too often in that constricting effort
to displace slightly organs and muscles.
Moreover, they tend to do the supporting work
that should be done by the muscles themselves
and in time, these muscles, particularly in the abdomen,
become flabby from lack of work.
The corsets instead of becoming a help,
therefore lead to flabbiness.
Right, lovely.
Nevertheless, there are times when artificial support
for the abdomen and back has advantages,
which outweigh the drawbacks.
Can't lie, when I was a teenager,
I desperately wanted the corset to help with my scoliosis,
but that didn't happen.
I don't know why.
They wouldn't let me have one.
I asked, they said no.
I asked numerous times, they still said no.
And now I'm considering
whether I should just get one anyway.
Now as an adult, because hey, I'm quite flexible still.
I do.
Young women and girls should not wear corsets
unless they work exceptionally heavy
or they have any severe weakness of the lower spine abdomen.
But daily exercises to turn up abdominal and spinal muscles,
are worth more than expensive corsets,
especially in later years.
I mean, I am fully impressed.
Fully impressed.
I was expecting this to be very much.
No, you strap yourself in young lady
and you make yourself have
the most beautiful figure possible
to the half of the book is just exercises to stay thin.
Because apparently, that's the most important thing.
There's even a section of this book
that talks about the exercises you need
to start getting your child to do,
your child, your little girl.
I don't know why I was about to say excellent there.
It's not excellent.
It's not, it's not.
I've lost it now, but there's also a section in here
where it talks about how you need to treat
your girl children and your boy children differently.
Because your girl children need to learn
about things like doing their finger nails and being tidy.
Apparently, boy children don't need to be tidy.
Well, wonderful.
Now, I think that's a perfect ending for this book.
At the start we thought, what on earth?
What does this vendetta against blondes?
The vendetta against blondes continued.
We now know that brunettes
are apparently the most beautiful people ever.
But anyone who's not a blonde or brunette, doesn't exist.
And also the elbows can actually be made gorgeous,
by some lemon.
Oh, thank you Tracy for that super chat, very kind.
So I think my lemon,
I think my elbows had been bettered by lemons
and that is excellent.
What more could we ask for really?
What more could we ask for?
But now let's move on to modern times.
Me, here right now today,
shall we do a quick Q&A session?
- [Clara] Yeah, (mumbles).
- We have just a short time left.
Hit me.
Now, I have to wait for someone to ask me a question.
- [Clara] It's a big delay.
- Where was that one, Blowman said,
I vote that you drowned the book in a VAT of lemon juice.
(Clara chuckles)
I'm not anti that.
I think that's probably a good idea.
Is a good idea, all right.
And we also learned that toilet oatmeal is a thing.
Very true, it least of lean apt.
That's actually a wonderful name.
That's a wonderful name, right.
Where's the question?
Your elbows has been buttered.
Oh, is that the captions being weird?
- Yes. - My elbows have been lemoned.
So when life gives you lemons, fix your elbows.
Yes, Susan, perfect joke, perfect.
- [Clara] Love these questions.
What show are you watching right now?
Favorite buffy character.
(mumbles) Joe Orton.
- Hang on.
What show am I watching right now?
Well, we just finished "The Handmaid's Tale" last night.
Watched the finale.
I have started with a feeling.
I mean what the hell, mainly?
Like what?
I don't wanna spoil it.
I felt like the season was quite slow
and then it suddenly took off with her big idea
and it was like, yes.
We tend to watch "The Handmaid's Tale"
whenever we're feeling emotionally ready
because it's going to draining show to watch.
Would advise though to everyone,
just know when you're feeling feelings.
We did watch it and kind of be like,
so when's it gonna get less gloomy?
Huh, when's the good stuff going happen?
Waiting for things to get better.
And then surprisingly there was a little optic finally.
So I'm looking forward to seeing
what's going to happen next.
So I think they are having another season.
I don't think that's the end.
That'll be a terrible end actually.
A little bit of a downer, I would say on that.
Ooh, you asked me what my favorite buffy characters?
Obviously Faith.
Obviously, she's the amazing.
Oh, will you be seeing the new "Downton" film
and will you do a review?
Actually, yes, less.
I got invited to go and see the costumes
that have been used in the film,
it was actually last night.
The one night I had plans.
Obviously, much I prefer spending time with my wife
on our anniversary, three years since we got married.
It's very special.
Okay.
Oh, someone asked about my p.o box.
I actually have news and update on my p.o box.
It doesn't cover the area
that we that we've currently moved to.
We're still in Brighton.
So I don't know what the problem is, but fine.
So currently it's being redirected to my house,
which is very secure, securities.
I'm getting tired.
I've lost my words.
Which means that my p.o box will be closing in January,
I believe of next year.
Around January of next year.
So my last kind of big p.o box opening
is going to be in December for Christmas.
So I was going to say like
start getting your Christmas cards in now.
It's September.
It's a bit soon, yeah.
But just make sure that they're in time
before the new year and they will be included
in a big p.o box unboxing, which we part of flag mask.
Which I'm really excited about.
(mumbles) again this year.
Clara's less excited.
- [Clara] No, I am.
It's just a lot of work.
- You love it. - (mumbles).
- You love it, you love it, we love it.
I love Christmas.
It's my favorite thing in the world.
Oh, someone at Christmas 52.
We'd love to support your channel
by becoming a member or sending a super chat.
I have so many medications to people.
I completely understand.
I'd like to ask what else can I do to support your channel?
If in a nonmonetary sense
so you can support my channel
by becoming a member of the Kellgren-Fozard club,
by much sending me like KOFIs,
which at the LinkedIn description, K-O-F-I, very confusing.
But you don't have to do that.
Another way that you can just support my channel
is just by watching my videos and without an ad blocker.
(chuckles) Thanks.
Yeah, because we get paid ad cents,
by the views on our videos and also just sharing my videos
with other people who you think may enjoy them.
If you are part of a group of friends, be like,
Hey friends have you seen Jessica's videos, there you go.
That's how you can support my channel.
But yeah, don't worry.
There's absolutely no responsibility, also the right word.
But don't worry your support
or my child does not have to be monetary.
I am very happy to just have people be here,
watching my videos and being subscribed
because you guys are awesome and I love you guys.
Okay, oh wait, someone said, read the super chat.
This one?
Oh, Rebecca says if you put it in two weeks,
it's only 16 weeks until Christmas.
Is that the one that you asked me about?
I think I saw one pop up actually that was about deafness.
Is that the one you're talking about?
This goes so slowly.
If you're talking about the one
where it's about losing your hearing,
I am intending to make a video about losing your hearing.
It is the least of videos that I have to make
that it keeps getting longer and stuff.
Yeah, life steam soldering me still at the moment
moving house, it has been our thing.
Has it not?
The amount of like life stuff I have to do
along with all life stuff as well has been a lot.
But obviously, it's all very good
and it's all very exciting.
It's just then difficult to manage
with a health condition
as I'm sure many of you guys understand,
especially in summer.
Summer's such a busy period because everyone gets married.
Been to three weddings so far this year
going to our fourth wedding this weekend.
It's a lot, it's a lot.
But I'm looking forward to a day when I can chill
and play the Sims
I just want to sit and play the Sims.
Oh another, but relating to the Sims,
we now have an encoder,
which is how I'm streaming to you right now.
That's what it's called an encoder.
Look at me.
I totally know internet stuff.
It's fine, totally yeah.
Which means that I may possibly be able
to do some live streams where I can play the scenes
and then my little face will be in the corner
and I could just chat to you guys
while I play the scenes which I'm very excited about.
I don't know whether that'll be on YouTube
or on a different platform, but I'll let you know.
I'll keep you updated and also
please give me your own opinions
if you would like to see me just chilling,
paying the Sims, telling you a little story.
I love making stories.
That is like my favorite thing.
When I was a little kid,
we used to go and really long car journeys
to the late district from Bristol.
That's about between six and eight hours in the car,
depending on the traffic.
And I turned my entire time in the back of my car
just creating stories.
The six hour long epic story for my little brother
who's five years younger than me, the entire journey.
It just always been my joy to create stories.
So I guess I can do that with the Sims.
And also one day I write and publish that book
that I'm supposed to be working on.
Derek has asked me,
what is your opinion on the new "Star Wars"?
- [Clara] (mumbles).
- I don't know, if they're all "Star Wars".
I'm sorry, I don't know.
I haven't seen it.
Can you share you own opinions with each other?
Anyone?
Oh, have you gotten the new expansion?
I'm guessing this is the Sims related comment.
Yeah, I really, really, really
want to get the new Sims four, wonderful.
I didn't live in pack.
I've been watching "Plum Bella" a lot
and I am really obsessed with game play
in the new Sims,
and I'm really actually want that.
I really wants it but not rejustify it to myself.
Unless it's on sale because that's how I work.
I'm just weird like that.
So hopefully it'll go on sale soon
because they're releasing a new pack,
which is about magic and I'm less interested in magic,
but I'm quite interested in mermaids.
So I'm gonna get the Island Living pack.
It's gonna be amazing.
Just you wait and see, right, next.
Oh, have my first day of sixth form today.
Angel, well done.
Congratulations.
I hope everything goes well for you.
Oh, okay.
I'm trying to read them.
Other than the scenes, do you play other games?
I actually don't.
Sometimes I just become addicted to games on my phone.
Like I'll just be a game that I have to play
like an hour every day for two weeks
and then I forget about it.
I'm like that flushing a pound.
But, yeah, the Sims love continues.
Always continues.
What's your feeling on the Sony/Disney Spiderman
whole thing?
I mean, why have (mumbles) shot themselves in the foot
is what I'd like to know.
Ridiculous.
I'm sorry, but I think the only true good Spiderman
is a small of a Spiderman.
I'm sorry.
I know like the old ones were good.
The custom danced era.
That was nice.
Did anyone watch the Andrew Garfield ones?
I didn't.
Did you?
No, no.
No one saw those.
But the new stuff, oh so good, so good.
I think it's ridiculous.
I think that like now we've lost.
Anyway, so I was gonna go like a whole Ironman thing
there for a moment
like Oh, Jody's dark.
Anyway, that's not what we're here for.
I think our time is almost up.
Wait, someone says,
I don't know if it was on sale a few weeks ago.
I'm not sure if what?
- [Clara] It was at 25% off.
So I didn't tell you because everything else was 50.
So when Magic comes out,
appreciate Island Living would be on 50%.
- All right, well I'm waiting for that some 50% off then.
Anyway, I was going to say, yeah, Tom Holland, I'm sorry.
I really like to applaud Spiderman, that was my point.
Sorry, sorry everyone.
All right, I hope that you have enjoyed this live stream.
I hope that you've learned a lot about
the wonders of being a modern woman and,
hello, oh, it's really just in the street
and someone wants to see them
and it just came to say hi as well.
- Hello, (mumbles) is very sleepy
because she just had a really big walk today, didn't you?
Oh yes, thank you very much,
everyone who has joined in on the stream.
It's been absolutely wonderful fun
as always chatting with you guys.
I really love doing live streams actually.
I should do them more.
How often would you want to see a live stream then?
I don't know how you can tell me that.
But, yeah, tell me how often you would like to see
live streams and I will try and make it happen.
All right, signing off now guys?
Someone says, what?
- [Clara] Sorry it's a bit delayed.
So now (mumbles). - Clara just did her half lick
that she does never spend and looks at her.
What are you doing?
Does someone asked to see your hair?
Is that's what's happening?
- [Clara] They all say nice things about my hair
in my comments, so I'm like uuh.
- Come here and say goodbye.
All right, wonderful human beings.
We shall see you very soon.
- Yes, thanks for the chat.
- Thank you very much for joining.
Absolutely lovely to chat with you all
and we'll see you again soon.
- Bye. - Bye guys.