Dear journal...
Where to begin? Schools over and I'm back in Bluffington.
You're home!
Dad, where's Porkchop?
I'm sorry Sport. Porkchop died while you were at college.
Judy! You work at the Honker Burger?
Only for now little brother! For soon, I shall be on Broadway!
It's funny how some things change.
And yet, (bacon sizzling) stay exactly the same.
Like old friends.
It's Assistant Principal Bone's house.
What are you gonna do, throw eggs at it?
Naw Doug.
Beets!
Take that Lamar Boner!
Hey! Hey! Doug: Skeeter!
Those windows are not made to be broken!
Banging on a trash can. Doug?!
Patti Mayonnaise
How about the time, I tried to eat liver and onions and I fainted at your house?
Why did you do that?
Because I wanted you to like me.
I still remember the first time we met.
Oh I have to go.
What?
Patti, Patti, hold on one second. Patti. What's the rush?
Roger?
Hey Funnie!
You find that nematode yet?
Last I heard, you were still looking for it.
Forget about Patti, Doug. You should come with me to Bebe's party.
(Doorbell Rings)
Why are you wearing a belt on your head?
I thought you said this was a costume party?
It's not? Honk, honk.
Awesome costume, dude.
Oh neato, Doug.
Hey Klotz!
Funnie!
Doug!
Douglass, the best things in life are...
Very expensive!
It's time I told you why I'm in this wheelchair, Doug.
Smash Adams would waltz right into her bedroom.
Patti you're the (hiccup) on my french fries. Doug? What are you doing?
Patti you're the mayonaise for me. Woah, woah.