- If you’re looking for a chic interplanetary getaway,
why not our solar system's
most underrated destination – Venus!
I mean, it's the 22nd century.
You deserve it.
Venus is closer to Earth, bigger,
and less likely to be populated by billionaires than Mars.
Let's be honest, Mars is so 21st century.
Venus boasts surprising hospitality
for interplanetary visitors
itching to get their parties started
with sprawling views from a floating cloud city.
But we'll get to that.
♪ I'm your Venus ♪
♪ I'm your fire ♪
♪ At your desire ♪
Venus is the solar system's most exclusive club.
It is the only planet in our solar system
where the sun rises in the west.
It's almost as if time itself goes backward.
(opera music)
Imagine if we could just go back to 2054 and stop the Earth
from descending into all out war over batteries.
Anyway, here on Venus, once that beautiful sun sets
in the east – bingo! That's 117 Earth days
of nighttime to dance your existential dread away.
If you need the sun for your mental health, don't come here.
This is probably not a good fit.
Now, like every self-respecting party destination,
Venus comes with an upstairs and a downstairs.
The bottom floor really has everything.
The hottest planet surface in the solar system,
methane, fossils, active volcanoes, sulfuric acid,
and so much more.
Unless you really, really want to go down there
in one of our super fun diving bells –
where you'll have to hope they pull you up fast enough
before Venus' pressure crushes you –
you'll be spending your time way up
in a penthouse in the clouds,
marveling at the planet's magnificent moonless sky.
That's right, on Venus you'll be floating around
safely above ground.
Thanks to our bespoke balloon technology,
you'll be staying in one of our selected
Star Wars-style cloud cities.
The whole planet's sky is filled
with these glorious zeppelin-like balloons,
each floating approximately 50 kilometers above the surface.
Unlike Earth's ancient hydrogen blimps
that had that nasty side effect of blowing up all the time,
on lovely Venus all you'll need is a bit
of nitrogen and oxygen to get these balloons floating.
(high pitch) We all float here.
That's right, the secret to human life on Venus
is Earth air!
Suck it, Mars!
So, what should you bring?
Pack light.
It's all balmy temperatures all the time
in the Venusian clouds, and the sun,
which is just as bright as on Earth,
will make you want to shed those claustrophobic space suits
and enjoy your literally high-flying, new perch in life.
Oh, and did I mention the astonishing Snapchat stories
you'll get of Venus' vast, swirling cloud structures?
That's right, Snapchat is the only
intergalactic social media giant left in 2100.
But wait, there's more to this overlooked paradise.
It's literally got the best ionosphere at the right height.
That sweet spot of 50 kilometers above
the planet surface’s hellscape happens to protect you
from solar radiation, too.
Bonus points.
You're closer to the sun and you've got your
SPF factor 30,000 right there in the sky.
All the way up there, Venus' gravity feels just like Earth.
So you can literally show off your moonwalk
on another planet.
And when you just need a break from it all,
step outside and take in the view
and breathe in the extraterrestrial air
through your minimalist respirator.
Smells like home, doesn't it?
But be careful not to party too hard, kids,
because Venus is a doozy.
That's why we ask all our new guests to carefully go
through all the rules and regulations
that allow us to have just the bestest time,
alive, floating around safely together.
Now, even if there is a puncture
in one of the balloons (yikes!),
the atmospheric pressure on the outside
will keep air in for days,
allowing for an orderly evacuation.
And management assures me
there's definitely no possibility at all
that we'll let you fall to your fiery doom
in those vast, beautiful sulfuric clouds below.
Scared?
Don't be, it's not like you really have a choice.
Like, what are you going to do?
Go to Mars?
Good luck in hell.