(upbeat music)
(birds chirping)
(skateboard rolling)
- Desiree.
What's for breakfast?
Let me guess, goop?
- Oh my God, I'm so sorry.
I'm so sorry, I just,
(coughs)
I think I caught a disease,
stay away from me.
Bye.
Gotta go.
- That was weird.
- So, since I decided to ditch that with Billy,
I needed to emotionally distance myself
from my new small friends,
to, um,
you know, to make it easier on them.
I'm sorry.
I'm so fine.
Just give me a second.
(crying)
(door opening)
Oh my God, what are you doing, why am I--
- Chill out, it's me.
- I know it's you, what is wrong with you?
- Have you packed your bags?
Please tell me you've packed your bags.
- Oh, well ...
(phone beeping)
- Hold on.
I was gonna cap it at 10, 000, but why would we stop now?
(energetic music)
- Yes, Chris.
- Can we do the Olympics now?
- [Kids] Yeah, yes.
- No, we have to wait on Desiree.
- Is life not a thousand times too short
for us to bore ourselves?
(gasps)
- I love Nietzche.
(sweet music)
- There's nothing like watching two devil worshipers
fall in love.
It's beautiful,
but terrifying.
- Sorry, I think I might have a woodland-borne illness.
- [Little Girl] It's okay, Desiree.
- Oh, you guys, no, no, please, none of the hugging.
Please, please don't hug me, please,
please stay back five feet at all times, please.
and not the Bambi eyes either.
Please.
Look away.
Please no eye contact.
(slurping)
- Aloha.
- Huh?
- Oh, nothing much, I'm just looking at flights to Hawaii
for when we flee the country.
I hope you're ready to hula.
- Billy, Hawaii is a state.
In the United States.
- Yeah, obviously.
- Okay.
- Yeah.
- Anyway, I'm starting to feel really guilty
about leaving these kids behind.
- Desiree, desiree, desiree.
You deserve to be living the life that you deserve.
Virgin Mai Tais on the beach,
swimming with a 250-year-old tortoise named Sydney,
shell fish.
- Yeah, yeah, I see those things for myself too.
Emotions suck.
- Yeah, they do, that's why I don't have any.
Except all the ones that I have for you.
Come on, loosen up.
I want you to go emotionally manipulate these kids' lives
like yours depends on it.
Hey, with the way these tickets are selling,
we'll probably be able to get out of here by tomorrow.
- Really?
- Mm-hmm.
- Oh.
- You're going down,
get ready to eat my dust.
- [Harmony] Hey, don't be mean.
- You're so right, Harmony.
He's not worth it.
(whistle)
- Go!
(energetic music)
Inch, inch, inch, inch, inch, don't, don't, don't.
(whistle)
Disqualified.
Desiree, break it up, break 'em up, I got yolk in my eye.
- You guys, come on, come on.
You know what, I can't deal with your silly
12-year-old relationship right now.
- I think she's really sick.
- No, she's really just having abandonment issues.
(slow music)
(sighs)
- To go with Billy, or to not go with Billy.
To go to a beautiful tropical island,
or stay at this crappy camp with a bunch of 12-year-olds.
To leave?
Or stay?
(popping sound)
What?
Okay, that doesn't help me.
(sighs)
20, 000 tickets, sold out.
That's like a million ish dollars.
It was time to pack.
- [Man Behind Camera] Billy, 20, 000 tickets
times 10 dollars
is 200, 000 dollars.
- Damn.
Well, I was never good at math, but that's not good enough.
I have to keep selling.
- Yo, you okay?
- Hi, Mani.
- The kids are really worried about you.
- Really?
- Yeah.
- Oh, well, I'm fine, I'm just,
I'm just dealing with some personal stuff right now.
- Well, listen, I just came out here to tell you that
the girls really look up to you,
especially Harmony and Brittany.
They look at you as a strong female leader.
I mean, I know I'm cool, but they love you.
- They look at me as a strong female leader?
- Yeah.
You're their Michelle Obama, Kylie Jenner,
Selena Gomez, huh?
- Oh, I like those.
Wait, really?
- Yeah.
- No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Mani,
this is honestly all too much.
I'm supposed to be on a beach drinking Mai Tais, and
- Mai Tais?
- And eating crab legs and taking hula lessons.
I'm not supposed to be a strong female leader
at a summer camp.
- Listen, this comes down to being a good example,
so, you have a choice to make.
So you gotta decide.
(pop music)
(sighs)
- Hey Harmony, if you're my partner,
I'll take us to the finish line.
- If you pick me, we may not win but we'll have fun.
- I've had it with the both of you.
- Be my partner.
- Done.
(dramatic music)
- Looks like you two are partners.
Chip?
(whistle)
- Up, up, no, this one, this one.
- Go, go!
- Okay, this foot.
This one, Brittany, Brittany, not, okay.
(screaming)
- Oo.
- We got this, this foot, this foot, this foot.
(cheering)
(whistle)
- Hey!
- You won!
- Yeah!
- We lost.
- Yeah.
(cheering)
- Well, hello there, future mother of my children.
Actually booking our plane tickets to Hawaii as we speak.
- Wait, Billy, I don't know if I can do this.
The kids are--
- Those little gremlins?
Can't get away from 'em fast enough, am I right?
- Actually, no, I really care about them.
- Wrong answer, Desiree, wrong answer.
You see, if you're not with me,
well that means you're against me,
which means you can't be trusted with my secret,
which also means you're gonna have to stay here
until I leave.
- Oh, wait, no, no, no, no, no, Billy, Billy wait,
you didn't let me finish.
I do really care about the kids,
but I have got to get out of here.
I mean, it's way too emotionally draining for me,
and let's be real, I am not cut out for this lifestyle.
- Me either.
This place.
- I mean, I am not a cast member of Survivor, right?
- No, you're not, not at all.
(laughing nervously)
- Okay, well, I'm just gonna go over here,
get me a popsicle, you just gotta go pack your bags,
and meet me back here.
All right, see ya.
She likes reality television?
Well guess who's auditioned for teen bachelor five times
and has a rose?
This guy.
- [Man Behind Camera] You were rejected five times?
- Who knew it would be too hard for me to screw over
a bunch of annoying kids?
Well, actually, they're not that annoying.
Okay, they're actually kinda cute.
Am I a good person?
(happy music)
Any of these Olympians want some popsicles?
- [Kids] Yes!
- [Mani] Me!
- Whatever color.
Oh, oh, here, Mani.
(giggling)
Ah, and I get the pink one.
Mani, can I talk to you for a sec?
- [Goth Girl] Are you dead?
- I hope so.
- Same.
- I've gotta talk to you.
- What?
- DJ S'Mores?
He's not coming.
- What?
- Yep, Billy sold 20, 000 fake tickets.
- What?
- Yeah, and now he's using all of the money
to flee the country.
Well, he thinks that Hawaii is fleeing the country.
I know, what are we gonna do?
We need a plan, Mani.
(shouting)
You have an idea.
Got it?
You got an idea?
- No, a brain freeze, a brain freeze, oh my God, cold.
- Oh, Mani, get it together.
What's the plan, Mani?
I can't see these kids upset again.
You're the plan man.
Come on!
- I got it, I got it, I got it, I got it.
Follow me, follow me, come on, come on, come on, come on.
- Yes.
(mysterious music)
- It's all happening, my love, it's all happening. .
(mysterious music)
- [Kid] Next up on Mani.
- We're looking for anything regarding DJ S'Mores,
and Billy's ticket scanner.
- [Kids] DJ S'Mores.
- What's that?
- Oh, I can see his office from here.
- Get in there.
- Go!
- Uh, guys, I think I found something.