- The universe creates us,
and the universe that creates us
will support us in everything that we do.
Whatever you tell your mind, it will believe.
So let me do something with you.
I want you to just put your arms out in front of you,
as if you're holding, like, reins or the handlebars of a bike.
Just put out your hands and close your eyes.
And I want you to imagine, to tell yourself, that
in your left hand you are holding
an enormous red fire bucket.
And it's filled with 60 pounds of sand,
and it's getting heavier and heavier and heavier.
So in your left arm
you're holding a bucket of sand and it is so heavy,
you can feel the weight right up into your shoulder.
You can feel it in your elbow.
You can feel it in your wrist.
Your left arm is getting heavier and heavier and heavier.
And the harder you try to keep your left arm up,
the heavier it's becoming.
And in your right arm
you're holding a huge, helium-filled balloon.
A big, blue balloon.
It's bigger than you. Full of helium, completely weightless.
And now, your right arm is floating
and moving and pulling and lifting and traveling.
And the harder you try to push that right arm down,
the more it feels as
if you are trying to push a balloon underwater.
It just insists on springing up, lifting up, traveling up,
getting lighter and lighter and lighter.
And all the time, your left arm is getting heavier
and heavier.
And the harder you try to lift up your left arm,
the more it feels like it's been encased in concrete.
And the harder you try to push your right arm down,
the more it feels like it's attached
to a pulley that is pulling it out.
And just notice, one arm is weighed down,
one arm is weightless; because of a belief I just gave you.
It's a belief.
So keep your arms where they are.
Open your eyes and look around the room.
See, beliefs are real, beliefs are things.
So let's do another one really quickly.
Thank you.
I want you.
Thank you,
thank you, thank you.
I want you to put your hand up by your mouth, right now.
I want you to imagine you're holding in your mouth
a big, fat, juicy, Costa Rica lemon.
And you can breathe it in,
and nothing smells quite like that
wonderful lemon smell.
And you can feel that waxy lemon. Smell it, feel it.
Open your mouth, cram that lemon in, just
shove that lemon into your mouth.
Start sucking it and chewing it and biting it. Suck up
all the flesh, swirl it around.
And what is happening is, of course,
you are reacting to a thought.
Not a good thought, not a bad thought; a neutral thought.
But you see, we react to thoughts,
and we don't upgrade our thoughts enough.
And time and time again,
I go back to people who come up with beliefs
they made when they'd been on the planet for five years.
They made a belief,
"I'm not good enough.
"There's never going to be enough money.
"I'm not pretty or handsome or smart or strong.
"No one's interested in me."
And we keep those beliefs for no other reason
than they're familiar.
So I sat in a doctor's office when I was in my twenties,
and he said to me, "You will never have a baby.
"You must accept
"you are infertile.
"You can't have children."
But even in my twenties,
I was already very far advanced in hypnosis.
And I said, "I'm going to stop you there,
"because I'm not letting that in.
"So I'm just going to leave.
"And I don't want to hear anything you have to say
"because I know I'll have a baby."
And, actually, I got pregnant really easily.
And then, having been told that having a baby was not available
to me, now I've got new things,
"Well, you're never going to have a normal pregnancy.
"You'll probably lose the baby.
"You know, if you carry it to full-term,
"it will have all kinds of things wrong with it."
Because I was diagnosed
with an illness that it turned out I never even had.
And they said, "Yeah, well, the baby
"is going to have the same illness,"
that I actually never had, ever.
But I seemed to have a great pregnancy.
They told me my baby would be born at under four pounds.
And suddenly, she was seven-and-a-half pounds.
I knew that having a baby was available to me,
having a perfect baby was available,
because I was going to make it available.
And then, I went off for my pre-birth talk, and they said,
"What kind of birth are you having?"
I'm like, "Hypnosis."
They were like, "Are you crazy?
"You're going to have a baby under hypnosis?"
This is a nurse saying to me, "Do you know
"giving birth is like sitting on a stove
"with a gas ring turned on?
"It's agony.
"You can't have a baby under hypnosis."
I'm like, "Well, what do you think people in Africa do?"
They went, "Oh, well, they've got different shaped pelvises,
"that's how they give birth in a field."
I'm like, "Okay, what about people in India?
"They don't seem to have different shaped pelvises,
"the last time I looked."
"Well, you can't have a baby under hypnosis."
I'm like, "Well, I'm actually doing a recording for the BBC,
"so... And they're coming to record me having a baby
"under hypnosis,
"so I pretty much think I am."
Anyway, I had an amazing birth.
I had the BBC in the delivery room,
I had my mom, my stepdad, my friends,
the baby's dad, it was like a party in there.
And I had my baby really easily.
I just pushed her out,
it was so simple. In fact, I felt like I'd been out
and bought her,
because I went to the hospital, gave birth my little baby
in, like, two hours,
and then went up on the ward. And it was like, "Wow,
"I just feel like I've been to a store
"and got this amazing, gorgeous thing."
Anyway, I woke up the next day... In England,
we have wards,
we don't really have private rooms
in maternity hospitals.
And the nurses were coming around,
giving everyone a box of kleenex.
I'm like, "What's that for?"
She went, "That is for the postnatal depression.
"Everybody gets that on day three.
"On day three, the whole ward is crying
"and weeping. It's okay,
"you know, it's just the hormones.
"When you give birth,
"your body starts to lose all the hormones,
"and then you get postnatal depression."
I went, "Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
"I'm actually having postnatal euphoria.
"I'm having it right now,
"and I'm going to keep having it for weeks to come."
And they looked at me like I was nuts.
I said, "Yeah,
"I actually haven't signed up for postnatal depression,
"but I have signed up for postnatal euphoria.
"And since you told me the ward's going to be a sea
"of weeping and crying," I said, "You know,
"I get that in my office, every day; weeping, wailing, crying.
"I don't really need it on my first day with a baby,
"so I'm just going to go home."
So I got my little baby, got a taxi, went home.
And I didn't realize, because my partner had the house keys,
that I was locked out of the house.
And we were not having a great relationship,
I didn't even know where he was, and I shouldn't care,
I have to say.
I was so in love with my baby,
he wasn't important.
But I couldn't get in my house. But I had my car keys.
So I put my little newborn baby in the car,
and I rang my mom.
I said, "Mom, I'm going to come and stay with you."
She was delighted.
And I drove to Cambridge.
In England, when you have a baby,
you have to have a midwife come every day
for 10 days, to check out you and the baby.
It's kind of the law.
And it's a good thing.
And if you don't have it, they don't like that.
So I had to ring London midwife and go, "Look,
"I'm not in London; I'm in Cambridge,"
so they could send me a Cambridge midwife.
So, now my daughter's two days old,
I've gone to my mom's,
and I'm wheeling her out in a little pushchair.
And I've just come back to the house as the midwife arrived.
And she looks and she goes, "Why are you out?"
I'm like, "Pardon?"
She said, "Why are you out?"
I'm like, "Well, it's a nice day."
She went, "No, but you should be in bed.
"You should be in bed for a week,
"and your baby should be in bed for a week,
"because of all the germs."
And I'm like, "Well, what do people do when
"they've got seven kids?
"Do they go to bed for a week?
"I don't think so.
"And, you know, I spent a lot of time in Africa,
"and I didn't see people going to bed for a week
"with their newborn baby."
And she's like, "No, you really should go to bed for a week."
And then she said to me, "Anyway, how did you get here?"
And I said, "I drove my car." And she went, "Oh,
"do you not know about 'pregnancy brain'?"
I'm like, "Fortunately, I have no idea about 'pregnancy brain.'
"But I know you're going to tell me what it is."
And she said, "Yes,
"when you've given birth, you can't concentrate,
"you can't focus,
"you can't do anything normally."
I was like, "Just as well I didn't know that
"when I took an hour-and-a-half drive down the motorway."
I didn't have pregnancy brain.
I didn't have postnatal depression.
And it really annoyed me
that they told me that was available to me.
So, now I'm raising this great little kid
that I've been told I can't have.
And I'm reading this report about
how girls who were adopted,
if their adoptive mother walked
around the house going, "Oh my God, I've got my period.
"Oh, it's so painful.
"Oh, these cramps are killing me.
"Oh, I need to take to my bed."
They have the same kind of periods.
Normally. Not always,
of course. There was an exception.
And adopted girls whose mothers say, "I've got my period,
"I'm off to play tennis now," have very different periods too.
So my little daughter who's five,
and she's gone to stay with my mom
and she came back,
and she started to walk round the house going, "Oh,
"I've got my tension headache.
"I've got my anxiety."
And I'm like, "Baby,
"five-year-olds don't have tension headaches or anxiety.
"That is Grandmother's stuff.
"It's not yours."
And so, we go to my mom's a lot, and
one day she said to her, my mom, "Grandmother,
"what are all these pills for?" And my mom goes, "Well,
"that one's for my legs and that's for my head.
"And that's for the angina.
"That's for my heart.
"That's my bowels."
My little girl goes, "But Grandma, how do they all know where to go?"
And now I've got to prep my daughter,
because every time she goes to my mom's...
She was going on a school trip
and she came back, and my mother gave her a little parcel
and she gave her antacids for after dinner,
she gave a travel sickness, travel tablets
to go on the coach,
and she gave her altitude tablets,
in case they went somewhere high. And I'm saying, "You know, baby,
"we don't do pills,
"you and me. We're not sick."
And she went, "But Mommy, is Grandma sick?"
I said, "No, darling. Grandma's not sick.
"Grandma's a hypochondriac.
"Those people, they're not sick, but they love taking pills."
Because all my life, my mother, her house is like... She's lovely,
but her house is like a pharmacy.
You want a drug?
She's going to have it in her cupboard.
And when I grew up, I thought, "That is never,
"ever going to be available to me.
"I'm going to be fit and healthy."
And I sometimes think I became a therapist
and cured people
because I looked at this madness of the pills
and the hospital trips, every day.
So I've said to my little girl, "Grandmother's not sick
"but she's a hypochondriac.
"And, you know, when you go to stay with Grandmother,
"when you get in the car, do not let her give you pills.
"After dinner, do not let her give you pills."
So we're at this big family dinner,
and my mother, she's got this synchron-
As she puts out the dessert,
she brings out the antacids simultaneously.
And my little girl looked at my uncle, and she said,
"You know my grandmother's nymphomaniac?
"Mommy said that's why she takes pills.
"But my mommy's not an nymphomaniac and we don't take pills."
And I'm like, "No, baby, no. Hypochondriac."
The correction didn't please my mom.
So I want you all to close your eyes.
And I want you to imagine you're holding in your arms
you. You, the day you've just been born.
You're this beautiful, perfect, brand new baby.
You just came out of a womb where everything was available
24 hours a day.
You got food, you got heat.
It was always 75 degrees in there.
All your needs were met. And you've just been born.
And I want you to think,
that little child who's just been born,
what should be available to that child
is masses and masses of love.
But, you know, that's often not the case.
My mom told me that when she had me, she was really upset,
because I was supposed to be someone else's baby.
My dad's best friend as it happened.
And years later, when I was doing hypnosis,
I felt that, I felt that disappointment.
But it didn't matter because that was just the beginning.
That's not my life.
So I want you to imagine you've got this little baby
in your arms.
And I want you to think,
what do you want to be available to that child?
Do you want love to be available?
Of course. What did you want
the person holding you as a newborn to say?
And I'm going to tell you when. You're going to repeat it
out loud, and I want to hear you.
I want you to say to that little baby, "Wow.
"Look at you."
"Wow, look at you,"
repeat it.
- [Audience] Wow, look at you.
- "You are the most perfect thing in the world."
- [Audience] You are the most perfect thing in the world.
- "You're so beautiful."
- [Audience] You're so beautiful.
- "You're so gorgeous."
- [Audience] You're so gorgeous.
- "You are completely lovable."
- [Audience] You are completely lovable.
- "And when you grow up..."
- [Audience] And when you grow up...
- "You're going to find so much love."
- [Audience] You're going to find so much love.
- "Because love is available to you."
- [Audience] Because love is available to you.
- "And it always will be."
- [Audience] And it always will be.
- "Success is available to you."
- [Audience] Success is available to you.
- "You matter."
- [Audience] You matter.
- "You're significant."
- [Audience] You're significant.
- "You have a gift."
- [Audience] You have a gift.
- "And you're meant to be here."
- [Audience] And you're meant to be here.
- Keep looking at that little baby
and just filling it up with love and praise.
You know, I see a lot of clients' infertility,
and although I have a really high success rate,
I have a few clients who would sell their house to be parents.
And there's no doubt they would be amazing parents,
and it doesn't happen.
They never get to have that baby
that they would be phenomenal at raising.
And I see other people who drag their kids up
and really do not deserve to be parents.
And I've often tried to work that out.
Here's these people who would be amazing parents
and they don't get a baby,
and these people who are dreadful parents who have three.
And the only way I could ever work it out is to believe
that we come through our parents.
We don't come from them.
The universe creates us,
and the universe that creates us will support us
in everything that we do.
Particularly, in believing that we are lovable,
that everything is available.
So you can open your eyes.
And I want you to think about that.
One person would be an awesome parent
and they don't get the baby,
and the other person is a horrendous parent and they do.
And how can you make sense of that?
You can't, except by deciding the universe created you.
You come through your parents, you don't come from them.
You come through them.