- [audience cheering]
- NARRATOR: These two went from making me laugh
on your timelines to big movies and TV primetime.
Please welcome your hosts Jess Hilarious
and D.C. Young Fly!
- [cheering continues]
- Boo! What's up, ATL?
- [audience cheering]
- And what's up Baltimore, Washington.
Welcome to "The 2019 BET Social Awards."
Look, we coming to you live from Atlanta, Georgia.
And for the first time ever, we broadcasting live in BET Africa.
- What? Hold up. - [audience cheers]
- So you telling me we live right now in Africa?
- Yeah, them over there can see what we doing over here.
- For real?
Hey, to my cousins! Hey! - [audience laughs]
- Now, anyway, thanks to all of us, okay, Black Twitter,
runs the Internet, y'all.
- Yeah, y'all know that. That's right.
And we want you to know, Black Twitter
ain't only for black people, right?
So for our other brothers and sisters, we wrote you a book.
- Mm-hmm.
Come on, give it up for WatchJazzy, y'all.
- Straight up. - Come, Jaz.
- Love y'all. - Come on, girl.
- I'm gonna fall out of this chair.
- Come on now. - Here she come.
- You better bring that book, girl.
- You better hurry up, girl. This--mm-hmm.
- You got that one ah--that long walkway.
- Could have brought one 'em hymns.
- You know black people can't be on time. Yes.
- [audience cheers]
- Give it up for Jazzy, y'all. - Yes.
- Now, yes, white people, this is The White Guide
to Black Twitter, because you know we got rules, okay?
- And we all know how much they like rules.
- Uh-huh, now Rule 187, "You want smoke?"
Now, this is not an invite to hit my blunt, white people, no.
That is an invite to an ass-whoopin', okay?
Now, listen, white people, if you see a black person
pull on his belt two times like this...
- [audience laughs]
- You might wanna get the hell on.
- [audience laughs]
- I ain't ever seen nobody do that that way.
- Old people fight like this. - Well, you ain't old.
Black Twitter Rule Number 27, "If you start any tweet with
'in R.Kelly's defense'"-- - [audience laughs]
- And some of y'all did it.
I'm reporting you, and I'm blocking your ass.
- Yes, and I'm blocking your ass, too, now.
Listen, y'all probably know this one.
YAKWTFGO--
"You already know what [bleep] going on." Yes!
Now listen, white people, this not no Nigerian word.
And somebody respond to you with that right now,
you should already know another ass-whoopin' is coming.
- [laughs] - Straight up, straight up.
And Black Twitter, we already got the answers.
We just waiting to see what your dumbass gonna do.
- Mm-hmm, now, white guys, if you are on Black Twitter,
here's Rule Number 99, okay?
If you start a tweet with, "I love white people"--
- --it better end with "that knows black women are the best."
- [audience laughs]
- Don't come in here with that mess, y'all, look.
Here's a right--here's a rule--look, shit--
- Uh-huh. - [audience laughs]
- It is what it is, zzzzh.
Here's a rule for the white ladies,
and this gotta be number one. - Go ahead.
- Stop calling the police on black people.
- Come on! - [audience cheering]
- Take 'em to church! Take 'em to church!
- For selling candy. - Talk to 'em.
- For having cookouts. - Amen!
- For doing a photoshoot.
- Come on, talk to 'em.
- Or breathing in this mother -- .
- [audience laughs and cheering]
- Oooh!
- Because Black Twitter has a particular set of skills, okay?
They will find you. - Uh-huh.
- And they will cancel your ass.
- Uh-huh.
- Yeah, just like they did Liam Neeson.
- Sure did. I used to love his movies, too, but guess what?
I hope they keep taking your daughter
in every movie you play in. - [laughs]
- Black Twitter is our FBI, y'all.
Yes, once you are under investigation by Black Twitter,
you will lose your damn job.
- And they got 100% conviction rate, DC.
- Uh-huh, now bring that job here, boy.
- [laugh]
- To sum it all up, just know Black Twitter
is like "106 & Park," alright?
They vote every week on what's hot.
- Right. - They rate the newest music.
- Right. - The latest gossip.
And how much they hate Bowwow.
I didn't write that. - Y'all can't do that.
Y'all gotta put some respect on Bowwow name now.
He did beat Lil Romeo in that beef back in the day.
- He just got beat up-- - Don't say that, girl!
Oh lord, please!