People need trigger warnings. Yes, as a non-binary person...
Disgusting example of toxic masculinity. Absolutely.
"You're just young, you need to grow up."
"Metropolitan liberal elite."
It's... What is that? What is that? It's everywhere.
"You live in a bubble."
Er, no, I don't, I live in Stoke Newington.
Buzzwords, it's all it is, buzzwords.
It's like they're saying you can only be a socialist if you're poor.
They're basically implying that we're all rich and middle class
and that we just support the left to look good.
It's not my fault that I run a successful start-up! It's just not!
I don't even like Champagne. They should call me a Prosecco socialist.
SNORTING
Did he just make a noise?
Gary, mate?
Huh? Was there a noise just then?
Didn't pick anything up on here, mate.
No? OK, all right, guys, tight schedule.
Back to it, then, please, folks.
"You're just virtue signalling."
Oh, that's such a stupid phrase.
Oh, look at me. I actually care about people!
I mean, as if that's a bad thing.
Oppression is everywhere. It's structural.
I mean, like, as a member of the vegan queer community...
SOUND MAN GROANS
OK, he definitely just made a noise.
OK, we're quite short on time, guys, so if you run out of things to say,
just move on to the next topic, OK? Thanks.
Yes, if you're anti-immigration, then you are racist,
but I'm not going to disagree with you over the colour of my jumper.
If you disagree, that doesn't make you racist... Yeah, yeah.
I mean, it's like, hello, I think I know what racism is. I'm white.
What?
Cut. Gary?
I was watching this blues band and it was five British white guys
and I was like, this is cultural appropriation because...
blues evolved out of the songs that African slaves would sing,
so I was like, you're white, you're British - you can't be in that band,
because blues is an inherently black art form because of slavery.
Yeah, but we had something to do with that as well... Gary.
You didn't enslave yourselves.
Am I wrong? I mean...
Can we just... Because we're on a tight schedule, guys.
So I'm walking past this Chinese restaurant with my father
and he says,
"There's lots of Chinese people in there, it must be great."
And it's like, "Dad, you can't say that! It's not politically correct!"
Oh, come on!
Cut!
Gary, you've got to stop interrupting.
You're saying it's more politically correct to say,
"I'm not eating in there, it's full of Chinese people."
Yeah, OK, well, I mean, it does sound like bullshit.
Shall we just crack on and move on to the next topic, OK?
I actually think one of the main causes of terrorism
is our own foreign policy.
Oh, no, it's not, mate. Jesus.
Maybe if you stopped bombing Muslim countries,
then Muslim terrorists would stop bombing you out of revenge.
Terrorists bombed Belgium. So?
What was that revenge for? Tintin?
Waffles? Jesus!
I'd actually go as far as to say that
the United States are the world's biggest terrorist organisation.
Oh, for...
I mean, it's not even about who's in charge, right?
Did you know that Obama used more drones than any other US president?
Of course he did! What would you have done,
just flown a massive spliff over the Middle East?
Gary! We're really tight for time here and if you keep interrupting
we're going to have to go again every time, OK?
"Take a shower and stop wiping your arse on the flag, you filthy hippy."
No-one's ever said that to me.
Yeah, OK, obviously wasn't one of the topics, was it, Gaz?
Yes, it's a micro-aggression.
GARY SIGHS
I mean, that's completely what it is. Right. CIS privilege. Right.
Oh, please.
I mean, that's such a heteronormative viewpoint.
I mean, gender is a construct. Oh, is it?
We all need to recognise the need for a safe space.
OK, all right, we have a boom in shot, guys.
We'll just go from the top again. Gibberish.
All right, OK, just take as much time as you need
and move onto the next topic when you're ready. OK?
All right, still rolling, guys.
Triggered by words or something? Jesus.
"You're all just a bunch of whiny cry-babies."
HE SOBS
Fuck!
I mean...
Just let the fucking snowflakes do their bit, all right, mate?
OK, can we just go again, then, mate?