On this episode of China Uncensored,
10 movie remakes you won’t be seeing from Hollywood.
Sponsored by a Hong Kong film
that Hollywood would never allow.
Hi, welcome back to China Uncensored.
I’m Chris Chappell.
Hollywood loves remakes.
They’re seen as less risky investments—
compared to actually coming up with original ideas.
Which explains why there have been
12 different Batman movies and counting.
Or take Karate Kid,
the beloved 1984 classic that taught the virtues
of waxing both on and off.
But a few decades pass,
and it’s time to make more money.
So Sony Pictures decided to do
a Karate Kid remake in 2010
that taught the virtues
of sucking up to the Chinese regime—
because China has the second largest
movie market in the world.
They did this by, for example,
by setting the remake in Beijing instead of Los Angeles.
And...What?
Don’t you know that everyone practices kung fu
on the Great Wall?
It’s only a two-hour drive from Beijing.
Also, can I just say,
as someone who who does
actual Kung Fu every morning,
Kung Fu is not the same as Karate.
But don’t worry,
it was only called the Karate Kid in the US,
in order to suck nostalgia dollars from our wallets.
In China, t
he movie was called The Kung Fu Dream.
But anyway,
Hollywood did what it had to do
to reach the Chinese market,
even if it meant casting Jackie Chan
as the Mr. Miyagi character,
seen here beating up children in the courtyard.
He then goes on to lecture the kids about
why Chinese people shouldn’t have freedom.
Ok, that was a joke.
But since Jackie Chan is now appearing
in Communist Party propaganda videos
that play before every movie that’s shown in China,
it’s not that far off.
But sucking up the Chinese regime
is a relatively new phenomenon in Hollywood.
There was a time when movie studios
didn’t care about the Chinese market.
But these days, well,
some of those movies
will never get Hollywood remakes—
because it would cost studios access to that precious,
precious Chinese market.
So here’s ten movies that will not be getting remakes.
Number 10: The Mask of Fu Manchu ​
There were several films about the evil Fu Manchu,
a character created by British author Sax Rohmer.
But The Mask of Fu Manchu is considered
the worst-slash-best—
depending on how you look at it.
Let’s see, there’s racist slurs.
“You hideous yellow monster!”
There’s the Chinese bad guy played by a white actor.
And the whole terrible depiction of Chinese people in general.
“Then conquer and breed!
Kill the white man, and take his women!”
Even during its original release in 1932,
the Chinese government launched a formal complaint
through its US Embassy.
Not that Hollywood cared at the time.
They were too busy making movies
for the German market.
Number 9: Macao
When this movie was released in 1952,
Macau was still a Portuguese territory.
And it was no stranger to gambling,
prostitution, and all the exciting corruption
that goes along with it.
Just like today under Chinese rule.
But now, of course,
Macau’s dark underbelly is more embarrassing,
since it’s frequented by corrupt Chinese
political and business leaders
laundering their ill-gotten gains.
So this one’s probably not getting remade.
Number 8: The Sand Pebbles
This film takes place on the Yangtze River in China in 1926.
It involves an American crew aboard the fictional USS Pablo.
But during its filming in the early 1960s,
Mao Zedong was busy killing millions of people,
and foreigners weren’t exactly welcomed in China.
So it was filmed mainly in Hong Kong and Taiwan.
It was nominated for eight Oscars,
including best actor for Steve McQueen.
But despite being a great film,
its depiction of American gunboat diplomacy of the era
means this story will never be remade by Hollywood.
Number 7: Year of the Dragon
This film was about a New York City detective
fighting gangsters in Chinatown.
Some loved it; some hated it.
But objectively, it flopped—
losing millions of dollars in theaters.
But that’s not why Year of the Dragon
won’t be remade by Hollywood.
It’s because of complaints from the Chinese community
about racial slurs, and the general depiction
of Chinese people as thugs, criminals, and triads.
Sure, there are triad movies
made by Hong Kong directors,
but Chinese government draws the line
at foreigners airing their dirty laundry.
Literally,
I mean, since they censored a scene
in Mission Impossible III
when Tom Cruise walked past laundry
hanging from balconies in Shanghai.
Number 6: Big Trouble in Little China
The Chinatown-themed movie also flopped
when it was released,
but it has since become a cult classic.
Sure, there was some talk about a remake
a few years ago,
starring the Rock.
But I doubt that’s going to happen.
Is it because of China’s current box office clout a
nd Hollywood’s aversion to offending Beijing?
Nah.
Two words: Chinese wizards.
Although now that I think of it,
if anyone could defeat Chinese wizards
to get the movie made,
it would be the Rock.
But even the Rock
couldn’t get this movie shown in China.
Chinese villains and making fun of Chinese culture
is a total nonstarter,
regardless of the intentional buffoonery.
I don’t know if you’ve noticed,
but the Chinese Communist Party
doesn’t exactly have a sense of humor.
Number 5: The Last Emperor
This film won all nine Oscars it was nominated for,
and pulled in $109 million at the global box office.
It was based on the life of Puyi,
the boy who became emperor
of the Qing Dynasty at age 3,
and died during the Communist Party’s
Cultural Revolution.
Amazingly, the production got the official blessing
of the Chinese government at the time.
But this was in the mid-80s,
when China seemed to be reforming
and its leaders were craving international recognition.
The Tiananmen Square massacre a couple years later
pretty much erased all those efforts.
A remake of this story
in today’s hyper-sensitive Chinese political environment
would be problematic—
because, despite Puyi’s eventual loyalty
to the Communist Party,
the Party treated him pretty badly,
and no one wants embarrassing things like the truth
to come out.
Number 4: Red Corner
In this film,
an American businessman visits Beijing
and is blackmailed for murder
by corrupt Chinese businessmen
and government officials.
It’s critical of the Chinese government,
plus it reinforces some of the sexist
Western stereotypes about Chinese women.
This is also one of the films
that got Richard Gere banned
from most Hollywood productions—
although his remarks at the 1993 Oscars
supporting human rights and the Dalai Lama
had already put him on many studios’ blacklists.
In Hollywood,
you’re free to criticize the US government all you want,
but criticizing the Chinese Communist Party is a no-go.
That’s why Hollywood studios are hesitant
to cast Richard Gere in any role these days.
They know that it will make it hard for them
to get their films shown in China.
Number 3: Seven Years in Tibet
This film is based on a true story.
It stars Brad Pitt as a heroic, sexy
Nazi?
Well, he was Austrian,
and he was cleared of any crimes.
But anyway,
he was trying to climb a mountain in the Himalayas
when World War II started,
and he spent pretty much the entire war
in a British POW camp in India,
until he escaped to Tibet in 1944.
Anyway, Brad Pitt—
I mean his character—
meets the Dalai Lama
and a lasting friendship ensues.
But the important part here
is that it shows the CCP’s benevolent “liberation” of Tibet
as more of a brutal invasion.
That is way too accurate for Hollywood.
So yeah, this film is not going to get remade anytime soon.
Number 2: Kundun
Another Tibet-related film,
released in the same year.
This one tracks 20-plus years
of the Dalai Lama’s life,
from childhood through when he flees Tibet
after the CCP’s “liberation”—
where he was liberated from his throne
and very nearly liberated from his life.
This one will also forever be banned in China,
and therefore Hollywood.
And Number 1: Spy Game ​
A-listers Robert Redford and Brad Pitt
ensured box office success for this spy thriller,
but when your third act climax
involves a US Navy SEAL team
landing on Chinese soil
to extract two American political prisoners
held by the People’s Liberation Army,
you know you’ll have problems
getting the film into Chinese theaters.
But of course back in 2001,
China’s box office was negligible,
so that wasn’t a major factor for Universal Pictures.
If Spy Game were remade today,
the third act would probably involve North Korea.
Like that terrible,
terrible remake of Red Dawn.
It was terrible.
Now I’m not saying Hollywood is bad.
I’m just saying...
it’s pure evil and feeds on the souls of innocent children.
But no judgement here.
Unfortunately,
Hollywood has so much power,
that it’s hard for smaller movies to get made—
even if they’re potentially really,
really awesome.
Which brings me to an indie film
that both the Chinese Communist Party
and Hollywood will censor:
“The Last Days of Hong Kong.”
The producer and I worked together
to bring you this episode.
“Last Days” is a political thriller
about a maverick private detective
who uncovers a plot that threatens
the lives of all Hong Kongers.
And it takes place on the eve
of Hong Kong’s complete turnover
to Chinese communist rule
in the year 2047.
Not only will this film anger the Communist Party,
but it will also feature actors and artists
who’ve been blacklisted in China.
So it’s really not getting made by Hollywood.
And that’s why it needs your support.
Click the link below
or here in this box
to watch the teaser.
They’ve just launched a kickstarter campaign,
and if you can help them raise 500,000 HK dollars—
which is about 64,000 US dollars—
by November 17,
it’ll actually get made.
Thanks for watching this episode of China Uncensored.
I’m Chris Chappell.
See you next time.
Click the box and help make a movie.