(laughing)
[Kurt:] Are you looking at that stupid picture of a bunny with a pancake on its head again?
[Ryan:] Nooo.
I'm watching viral videos with my brother Ethan.
[Kurt:] Have we met?
[Ethan:] Yeah. I've known you for like, twenty years.
[Kurt:] Um, if you say so.
Now, move.
You need to see this. [Ryan:] What?
[Kurt:] It's the internet. They hate us.
[Ryan:] Let me read. "You guys are the worst."
"I wish you were dead."
"Even my parents who have never listened to the show wish you were dead."
"Dick Jockeys is way better?"
[Kurt:] I know. Dick Jockeys is pretty funny.
But, still, there has to be room for more than one show, right?
[Ethan:] There are literally hundreds of comments all like this. You guys must suck.
[Ryan:] No! No! [Kurt:] No way!
We're just different! [Ryan:] Yeah! Oh Kurt look look, look!
There's a nice one!
From "Jumbo Taint Commando 32."
"Your show is the best!"
You hear that? Our show's the best!
[Ethan:] You have to click "more."
[Ryan:] Your show is the best!..."
"... Evidence that God doesn't exist."
"Would you guys just please die already."
[Kurt:] See?
[Ethan:] Hey, at least "Jumbo Taint" said "please."
[Ryan:] Man.
[Kurt:] We gotta get people to like us.
[Ethan:] Uh. You guys could die?
People really seem to want that.
[Ryan:] I got it, I got it! We could advertise on the moon!
We'll take a rocket ship and some paint.
Yeah, then we can eat lunch on the moon.
It'll be moon food.
Moon food. Ha, that's a funny word. I'm gonna write that down.
Moon... food.
[Ethan:] Or, you guys could just make your own viral video.
[Kurt:] Do you even know how?
[Ryan:] Yeah! All you need to do is record someone doing something really dumb.
Man, I wish there was just ONE thing that I did that was really dumb.
[Kurt:] Oh, I'm sure there's just one thing you've done that was really dumb.
[Ryan:] Uh, name one.
[Ethan:] 'Member when we were kids?
[Kurt:] No. I don't.
[Ryan:] Ah, I totally forgot. Okay, Hamburger Specials.
[Ethan:] Hamburger specials.
This is what me and my brother used to do
every, like, Saturday, over at my Grandpa's house.
My mom would go to a little burger joint called "Tasties."
And my mom would get hamburgers and french fries.
Me and my brother would take the french fries and put them inside the hamburgers,
You've heard of that. Everyone's heard of that.
[Kurt:] I've heard of french fries and I've heard of hamburgers,
and I've heard of putting the two together.
[Ethan:] Once the french fries were inside the hamburgers, that's when the newscast would start.
[Ryan:] Hahaha, yes!
[Kurt:] I was with you guys,
I mean, I knew all about the hamburgers and the french fries inside the hamburgers!
[Ryan:] Yeah hamburger special, duh.
[Kurt:] But what's this about a newscast?
[Ethan:] All right, here we go. Here's the- here's the Hamburger Special Newscast.
[Ethan:] Oh, hi, this is Ethan Hernandez,
comin' here from the back yard, and uh, I've got my hamburger special right now.
I'm gonna send us over to Ryan. Over to you!
[Ryan:] Hi, I'm Ryan, and welcome to the Hamburger Special!
I have french fries in my hamburger, Hamburger Special, back to you, Ethan!
[Ethan:] Oh, thank you, Ryan!
So today's a pretty good day, I'm just hangin' out today, uh,
let's go back to you!
[Ryan:] Oh, this Hamburger Special's really really good. Back to you, Ethan!
[Ethan:] Back to you!
(laughing)
[Ryan:] I'm pretty sure if I remember,
we were sitting side by side, facing the invisible camera!
And the crew!
[Kurt:] What, was your mom sitting on the other side! [Ryan:] No!
My mom's inside the house!
[Kurt:] Wait! Waitwait!
Are you serious?
[Ryan:] I totally forgot about this!
[Kurt:] Your mom wasn't there?
[Ethan:] No, she was inside! [Ryan:] No, it was just the two of us hangin out outside!
Eatin' hamburger specials! [Kurt:] And you're sitting on the same side of a bench?
Doin' this fake news show. [Ryan:] No, I think we were on the floor!
[Ethan:] We were sitting on the concrete floor. [Ryan:] Indian style!
[Ethan:] Indian style!
[Kurt:] The way real people do news. [Ethan:] By the pool.
[Ryan:] So you remember everything I told you.
[Kurt:] I think so.
[Ryan:] Okay, sweet, bro. You recording? You zoomed in too far, zoom out, zoom out.
We gotta get all this viralness.
[Ethan:] Okay, okay, yeah. I got- I got it.
[Ryan:] Alright, action.
Stomp them grapes. Stomp!
[Ethan:] Sweet.
[Ryan:] Baby on dental anesthesia! Cinnamon challenge time!
Scoop and eat!
[Ethan:] Yeah yeah, cinnamon, cinnamon.
[Ryan:] Do it, ya dumb baby!
[Ryan:] Kurt! Keep stomping and sing "Chocolate Rain!"
[Kurt:] I don't know Chocolate Rain!
[Ryan:] It's a song, you know songs!
Sing it! A-one and a-two and -
[Kurt:] Oh when the sweet chocolate rain
comes down on my face
yummy yum
oh I love the sweet chocolate rain
I love the way it tastes. Yoodle-ee-doo!
[Ryan:] Perfect! Grand finale! Pull the string!
[Ryan:] Here, Kurt! Catch!
Back to you, Ethan!