SO MANY THINGS HAPPENED OVER THE BREAK.
THERE WAS THE DEAL WITH THE -- WITH THE OTHER THING AND --
(LAUGHTER) RIGHT, RIGHT, RIGHT?
AND THEN THE BLAH BLAH WITH THE --
(LAUGHTER) YEAH, RIGHT, WITH THE
YOU KNOW, [ BLEEP ] THAT [ BLEEP ].
I HAVEN'T FORGOTTEN ABOUT YOU, [ BLEEP ].
(LAUGHTER) I HAVE NOT FORGOTTEN ABOUT YOU.
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) I'VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT YOU THE
WHOLE TIME!
-OF- LET'S GET RIGHT TO IT.
OVER THE WEEKEND, "THE NEW YORK TIMES" GOT AHOLD OF THE FULL
2005 COSBY DEPOSITION FROM A CASE INVOLVING A FEW OF THE AT
LEAST 48 WOMEN WHO HAVE ACCUSED COSBY.
(IMITATING COSBY) AND IT IS FULL OF THINGS ABOUT
THE INAPPROPRIATE, THE BLAH, BLAH, THE BIZZAH BAZZAHS, THE
RAPING AND THE TOUCHING AND THE DRINKING, THE BAAHHH!
(LAUGHTER) >> WHY DIDN'T YOU TAKE THE
QUAALUDES, THE LAWYER ASKED HIM.
HE SAYS I USED THEM.
HE SAID, FOR WHAT?
COSBY SAID, THE SAME AS YOU WOULD, SAY, HAVE A DRINK.
(LAUGHTER) >> Larry: NO, NO NO!
IT'S NOT THE SAME.
"LET'S HAVE A DRINK" ISN'T A FUN WAY TO TELL SOMEONE YOU'RE GOING
TO RUFI THEM.
(LAUGHTER) JUST LIKE "LET'S
HANG OUT" ISN'T A CUTESY WAY OF SAYING YOU'RE ORGANIZING A
LYNCHING.
(LAUGHTER) NOT THE SAME.
(IMITATING COSBY) OKAY, SO WHAT WAS ANOTHER "COSBY
SAYS THE DARNEDEST THINGS" THING?
(LAUGHTER) >> SHE MEETS ME BACKSTAGE.
I GIVE HER QUAALUDES.
WE THEN HAD SEX.
THE LAWYER SAYS SHE SAID SHE BELIEVES SHE WAS NOT IN THE
POSITION TO CONSENT TO INTERCOURSE AFTER YOU GAVE HER
THE DRUG.
DO YOU BELIEVE THAT IS CORRECT?
I DON'T KNOW, COSBY REPLIED.
>> Larry: YES, YOU DO!
(LAUGHTER) YOU GAVE HER A DRUG AND THEN HAD
SEX WITH HER!
YOU KNEW SHE COULDN'T CONSENT!
LOOK, I ONLY KNOW THREE THINGS IN LIFE TO BE TRUE: BABY CORN
SHOULD NOT BE A THING.
(LAUGHTER) ALL RIGHT?
THE WORD "MOIST" SHOULD NEVER BE USED EXCEPT NEXT TO THE WORD
TOWELETTE.
(LAUGHTER) ALL RIGHT?
TRUE?
AND BILL COSBY KNEW WHAT HE WAS DOING.
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) HE KNEW IT.
YOU CAN'T DO THAT AND NOT KNOW.
(APPLAUSE) ALL RIGHT?
(IMITATING COSBY) OKAY, LET'S KEEP THIS GOING!
WHAT ELSE CRAZIEST THING IT I -- DID I SAY?
(LAUGHTER) >> THEN IN REGARD TO ANOTHER
JANE DOE, HE SAYS YOU BEGAN TALKING ABOUT HER CAREER AND
ASKING ABOUT HER FATHER WHO DIED OF CANCER.
DO YOU REMEMBER THAT?
YES, HE SAID, I REMEMBER THAT.
>> Larry: OH, [ BLEEP ]!
NO, NO, NO.
(LAUGHTER) PLEASE DON'T TELL ME YOU'RE
GOING TO USE THIS CANCER THING AS A WAY TO GET HER INTO BED.
>> DID YOU ASK HER THOSE QUESTIONS BECAUSE YOU WANTED TO
HAVE SEX WITH HER?
YES, I DID, BILL COSBY SAID.
[ AUDIENCE OHs ] >> Larry: YOU USED HER DEAD
FATHER TO HAVE SEX WITH HER -- LITERALLY HER GHOST DAD!
(LAUGHTER) I MEAN --
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) OKAY.
WHAT ELSE?
>> HE ALSO ADMITS IN THIS THAT HE NEVER WENT THE ENTIRE WAY
WITH WOMEN.
THAT HE BELIEVES SEXUAL INTERCOURSE WAS CONCERNING
BECAUSE SOMEBODY COULD FALL IN LOVE WITH HIM.
HE DIDN'T WANT THAT.
(LAUGHTER) >> Larry: SO LET ME BREAK THIS
DOWN.
ACCORDING TO COSBY, WHEN YOU'RE DRUGGING WOMEN WHO YOU'VE
SEDUCED VIA GHOST DAD CANCER TALK, DON'T HAVE FULL-ON SEX
WITH THEM OR THEY'LL START TO GET A LITTLE CLINGY.
(LAUGHTER) DAMN, BILL COSBY!
WHO ARE YOU GETTING YOUR DATING ADVICE FROM?
BILL COSBY?
(LAUGHTER) SORRY, I COULDN'T THINK OF
ANYONE ELSE.
(LAUGHTER) ALL RIGHT.
SO WHAT ELSE DID THE COZ BRAG ABOUT?
>> COSBY CLAIMED HE AND HIS ACCUSER WERE "PLAYING SEX, WERE
PLAYING, PETTING."
>> Larry: PETTING?!
(LAUGHTER) THAT'S GROSS.
I MEAN, THIS ISN'T A FIELD OF CUTE
LITTLE PUPPIES, BILL.
(LAUGHTER) BY THE WAY, YOU GUYS HAVE SAT
THROUGH A LOT OF DISGUSTING BILE TONIGHT.
I GIVE YOU A LOT OF CREDIT.
YOU KNOW WHAT?
YOU DESERVE A BREAK.
LET'S ACTUALLY SEE SOME PUPPIES RUNNING THROUGH A FIELD.
(LAUGHTER) (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)
THAT'S THE STUFF, MAN.
(LAUGHTER) ALL RIGHT.
BACK TO THE BILE.
IF THIS DEPOSITION PROVED ANYTHING, IT'S THAT COSBY HAS
ABSOLUTELY NO SELF-AWARENESS.
>> I THINK I'M A PRETTY DECENT READER OF PEOPLE AND THEIR
EMOTIONS IN THESE "ROMANTIC SEXUAL THINGS," HE TOLD THE
LAWYER, WHATEVER YOU WANT TO CALL THEM.
>> Larry: WHATEVER I WANT TO CALL THEM IS RAPES!
(LAUGHTER) (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)
THAT'S WHAT I WOULD HAVE CALLED THEM.
HOLD ON!
AND WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU ARE A DECENT READER OF EMOTIONS?
FIRST OF ALL, THERE IS NOTHING DECENT ABOUT YOU.
ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.
ALL RIGHT?
AND SECONDLY, KNOCKED-OUT-AND-SNORING IS NOT
AN EMOTION.
(LAUGHTER) ALL RIGHT.
NOW, THIS DEPOSITION WAS NOT THE FIRST TIME COSBY BOLDLY JUST
EXPLAINED TO US WHAT HE WAS DOING.
CHECK OUT THIS "SPANISH FLY" ROUTINE FROM 1969.
THIS WAS FROM HIS COMEDY ACT.
>> YOU KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT SPANISH FLY?
WELL, THERE'S THIS GIRL -- CRAZY MARY -- YOU PUT SOME IN HER
DRINK, MAN.
SHE'S LIKE AHHH.
(LAUGHTER) GO TO A PARTY, SEE FIVE GIRLS
STANDING ALONE.
BOY, IN I HAD A WHOLE JUG OF SPANISH FLY, I'D LIGHT THAT
CORNER UP OVER THERE.
[ AUDIENCE OHs ] (LAUGHTER)
>> Larry: THIS WAS 15 YEARS BEFORE "THE COSBY SHOW" WAS EVEN
ON THE AIR.
THIS WASN'T A RED FLAG.
THIS WAS A HUGE COSBY SWEATER PATTERN FLAG.
(LAUGHTER) RIGHT?
WAIT, HOLD ON.
(APPLAUSE) AND EVEN ON "THE COSBY SHOW," HE
TALKED ABOUT SPIKING THE BARBECUE SAUCE.
>> HAVEN'T YOU EVER NOTICED AFTER PEOPLE HAVE SOME OF MY
BARBECUE SAUCE, AFTER A WHILE, WHEN IT KICKS IN, THEY GET ALL
HUGGY-BUGGY?
>> I LOVE YOUR NECK, HONEY.
IT'S PERFECT, LIKE A SWAN.
>> OOH, ELVIN.
Larry: JESUS CHRIST, SONDRA CAN'T EVEN KEEP HER EYES OPEN.
(LAUGHTER) WE'VE GOT CLIFF HUXTABLE ON
CAMERA FORCING MESQUITE RUFI SAUCE ON HIS OWN FAMILY.
(LAUGHTER) SO LET ME SEE IF I CAN REALLY BE
CLEAR ABOUT THIS.
OKAY?
THIS IS HOW HORRIBLE OF A HUMAN BEING THAT [ BLEEP ] IS.
THIS IS WHY I CALL HIM A [ BLEEP ] ALL THE TIME, OKAY?
(LAUGHTER) HE BELIEVES THAT DRUGGING AND
-- HE BELIEVES THAT DRUGGING AND RAPING WOMEN DESERVES TO BE
LAUGHED AT.
HE PUT IT IN A COMEDY ACT, AND HE PUT IT ON HIS TV SHOW.
HE FINDS WHAT HE DID TO BE FUNNY.
FIVE WORDS: YOU.
CAN.
GO.
[ BLEEP ].
YOURSELF.
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)