>>> AND NOW IT'S TIME FOR "WHAT STILL WORKS."
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] >> HELLO AND WELCOME TO "WHAT
STILL WORKS," WHERE WE LOOK AT EVERY PART OF AMERICAN SOCIETY
AND WONDER, WHAT STILL WORKS? IT'S A NEW YEAR AND WE HAVE A
NEW PRESIDENT SO SOME THINGS SHOULD WORK, BUT DO THEY?
OUR FIRST TOPIC IS GOVERNMENT, AND ALREADY I HAVE MY DOUBTS.
JOINING US IS A CONGRESSWOMAN FROM GEORGIA WHO'S BEEN
PROMOTING Q-ANON CONSPIRACY THEORIES.
PLEASE WELCOME MARJORIE TAYLOR GREENE.
>> HI. THANKS FOR HAVING ME.
GUN? >> NO, NO.
NO, THANK YOU. I'M GOOD.
>> OKAY. >> CONGRESSWOMAN GREENE, HARD TO
SAY THOSE WORDS TOGETHER, WHAT ARE SOME OF THE THEORIES YOU
BELIEVE IN AND HAVE BEEN PROMOTING?
>> HOW MUCH TIME YOU GOT? OKAY, FIRST OFF, I BELIEVE THE
PARKLAND SHOOTING WAS A HOAX. THE TEACHERS WERE ACTORS AND THE
CHILDREN WERE DOLLS. I BELIEVE 9/11 WAS A HOAX.
DID ANYONE ACTUALLY SEE IT HAPPEN?
I'VE ALSO TOLD MY SUPPORTERS THAT THEY SHOULD PHYSICALLY
MURDER NANCY PELOSI. SHE'S THIS LADY I WORK WITH.
>> YEAH, I'M FAMILIAR. THANK YOU.
>> OH, AND THIS IS A NEW ONE THAT JUST CAME OUT, I THINK THAT
THE CALIFORNIA WILDFIRES WERE CAUSED BY JEWISH SPACE LASERS.
>> SO THERE ARE LASERS IN SPACE THAT CAUSED WILDFIRES AND THE
LASERS IDENTIFY AS JEWISH? >> YES, CORRECT.
>> AND THOSE ARE REAL THINGS YOU BELIEVE AND TELL OTHER PEOPLE
ABOUT? >> UH-HUH.
YES. >> AND YOU'RE A U.S.
REPRESENTATIVE? >> UH-HUH, YES.
>> YOU REPRESENT THE U.S.? >> UH-HUH.
YES. >> PEOPLE CAN GOOGLE YOU AND IT
WILL SAY SHE'S A REAL MEMBER OF THE U.S. GOVERNMENT?
>> THAT MIGHT NOT BE THE FIRST THING THAT COMES UP, BUT YEAH.
>> AND WHEN YOUR COLLEAGUES FOUND ALL ABOUT ALL THESE
HATEFUL AND PSYCHOTIC THINGS YOU SAID, WHAT DID THEY DO?
>> I WAS PROMOTED TO THE EDUCATION COMMITTEE.
>> OKAY. THANKS FOR COMING.
SO GOVERNMENT DOESN'T WORK, AND HONESTLY I REGRET NOT TAKING THE
GUN. NOW LET'S TAKE A LOOK AT THE
STOCK MARKET. THAT USUALLY WORKS, RIGHT?
THAT'S WHERE PEOPLE INVEST ALL THEIR RETIREMENT MONEY, SO IT
SHOULD PROBABLY WORK. HERE TO HELP US ANSWER THAT
QUESTION IS THE NEW MAJORITY SHAREHOLDER OF GAMESTOP
DEREK BONER. ♪♪♪
♪ >> THANK YOU.
>> WHAT UP? THIS IS CRAZY, DUDE!
BY THE WAY, MY NAME'S DEREK EVANS, BUT I MADE YOU SAY
BONER. >> TERRIFIC.
NOW, WOULD YOU SAY THE STOCK MARKET STILL WORKS?
>> FIRST OF ALL, IT'S PRONOUNCED THE STONK MARKET, AND -- YEAH,
HELL YEAH IT WORKS. I TOLD YOU I PUT ALL MY MONEY IN
GAMESTOP, AND I CAN'T LOSE. >> SO, NORMALLY A STOCK PRICE
REFLECTS THE COMPANY'S VALUE, RIGHT?
>> OKAY. >> NOW TWO WEEKS AGO GAMESTOP
WAS VALUED AT $17 A SHARE AND THEN IT WENT TO $413 A SHARE.
WOULD YOU SAY THAT REFLECTS THE KIND OF BUSINESS GAMESTOP HAS
BEEN DOING IN THE PAST TWO WEEKS?
>> WE SELL GAMES? >> RIGHT, BUT ARE YOU GOOD AT
IT? >> NOT REALLY.
PEOPLE DOWNLOAD THEIR GAMES NOW SO WE'RE KIND OF, LIKE, WHAT DO
YOU CALL IT? >> A DYING BUSINESS.
>> YEAH. THAT'S IT.
>> SO YOUR PRICE SHOULD HAVE GONE.
>> DOWN? >> BUT INSTEAD IT WENT --
>> UP THE MOST. >> SO NOW IT SEEMS LIKE --
>> THE ENTIRE SYSTEM IS A JOKE? >> EXACTLY.
>> INTERESTING. YOU WANT TO BUY MY STONKS?
>> I'M GOOD, THANK YOU, BUT OUT OF CURIOSITY, WHO ELSE INVESTED
IN GAMESTOP? >> OH, JA RULE.
BEST OF LUCK TO YOU. SO THE STOCK MARKET NO LONGER
WORKS. LET'S TAKE A LOOK AT SOCIAL
MEDIA. SOME MIGHT SAY IT NEVER WORKED,
BUT LET'S ASK TWO EXPERTS, TWITTER CEO JACK DORSEY AND
FACEBOOK FOUNDER MARK ZUCKERBERG.
♪♪♪ >> WE COULD GET YOU A CHAIR,
MARK. >> I PREFER TO STAND.
IT MAKES MY LEGS WORK JUST AS HARD AS MY BRAIN.
DAB! >> HE'S ONE OF OUR BEST AND
BRIGHTEST. SO, GUYS, YOU'VE HAD TO SUSPEND
THE ACCOUNTS OF MANY PROMINENT CONSERVATIVES WHO WERE SPREADING
LIES AND INCITING VIOLENCE. HOW DID THAT GO?
>> NOT WELL. IT SEEMS TO HAVE FORCED THOSE
PEOPLE ON TO DARKER, SCARIER APPS WHERE THEIR DELUSION AND
BLOODLUST CAN RUN WILD. >> AND FUNDAMENTALLY, FACEBOOK
STILL WORKS, NOT ONLY DOES IT HELP FORM
COMMUNITIES ONLINE, IT HAS HELPED PEOPLE MEET AND CONNECT
IN REAL LIFE, FOR EXAMPLE, AT THE CAPITOL.
>> AND WHILE WE'RE GATHERING OPINIONS ON WHAT WORKS, WOULD
YOU SAY THAT MY CHIN BEARD IS WORKING?
>> IT'S WORKING IN TERMS OF KEEPING ME A LESBIAN.
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR JOINING US.
OUR NEXT TOPIC IS THE VACCINE ROLLOUT.
IS THAT WORKING? JOINING US IS SOMEONE WHO JUST
RECEIVED THE VACCINE, O.J. SIMPSON.
♪♪♪ >> HOW'S IT GOING, GANG?
GREAT TO SEE EVERYBODY. I DON'T GET OUT MUCH, SO THIS IS
FUN. >> O.J., YOU GOT THE VACCINE?
>> YEP. >> TEACHERS CAN'T GET VACCINES,
BUT YOU DID? >> THAT'S CORRECT.
>> PEOPLE WITH LONG-TERM LUNG CONDITIONS CAN'T GET THE
VACCINE, BUT YOU DID? >> ABSOLUTELY.
>> SO AMONG THE FIRST 3% OF ALL AMERICANS GIVEN THE VACCINE WAS
O.J. SIMPSON. >> HEY, GUILTY AS CHARGED --
ABOUT THE VACCINE. [ LAUGHTER ]
>> ALL RIGHT. SO THE VACCINE ROLLOUT DOESN'T
WORK. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR COMING.
>> I MEAN HONESTLY, MY SCHEDULE WAS WIDE OPEN.
GOD, THIS THING MAKES ME SO ANGRY I SWEAR I COULD JUST --
HEY, STAY COOL, JUICE. [ LAUGHTER ]
>> COOL, AND OUR LAST TOPIC TONIGHT, TOM BRADY.
IS TOM BRADY WORKING? HERE WITH HIS THOUGHTS IS TOM
BRADY. TOM, THIS IS YOUR TENTH SUPER
BOWL APPEARANCE. >> THAT'S RIGHT.
>> YOU'RE 43 YEARS OLD, BUT YOU LOOK 27.
>> I HAVEN'T EATEN SUGAR IN 15 YEARS.
>> YOU WENT TO HISTORICALLY ONE OF THE WORST FRANCHISEES IN
FOOTBALL AND IN YOUR FIRST YEAR YOU TOOK THEM TO THE
CHAMPIONSHIP GAME. >> THAT'S RIGHT, BUT IT'S REALLY
A TEAM EFFORT. >> NO, DON'T EVEN TRY IT.
NO ONE ELSE BELIEVES THERE IS ANYONE ELSE ON THE TEAM.
MY POINT IS YOU STILL WORK. >> YEAH.
>> YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO WIN FOOTBALL GAMES AND YOU JUST KEEP
WINNING THOSE FOOTBALL GAMES? >> YEAH.
>> YOU MIGHT BE THE ONLY THING IN AMERICA THAT STILL WORKS.
>> YEAH. >> SO I GUESS EVERYONE MUST BE
ROOTING FOR YOU, RIGHT? >> ALMOST NO ONE.
[ LAUGHTER ] >> WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT?
I'LL BE ROOTING FOR YOU, TOM BRADY, BECAUSE YOU'RE THE ONLY
GOD DAMN THING THIS COUNTRY CAN STILL RELY ON, AND IT'S NOT LIKE
YOU'RE A WEIRD TRUMP GUY OR ANYTHING, RIGHT?
>> THANKS FOR HAVING ME. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> AND THANK YOU FOR WATCHING "WHAT STILL WORKS."
I'VE BEEN KATE McKINNON AS MYSELF, SLOWLY LOSING MY MIND,
ALONG WITH ALL OF YOU. STAY STRONG OR WEAK.
WEAK IS A GREAT OPTION, TOO. AND LIVE FROM NEW YORK IT'S
SATURDAY NIGHT! ♪♪♪
♪♪♪