[Please keep these captions clean for those who need them. Funny extras can be added to the English (Canada) subs. Thank you!]
[Sounds of traffic]
MASTER ROSHI: Hey there, Goku. How goes the recovery?
GOKU: Well, the doctor said I should be in here for a couple of months; what with the crushed legs, shattered ribs...
...and the brain damage.
...and the brain damage... and the brain damage.
...and the brain damage... and the brain damage ...and the brain damage.
Oh hey Master Roshi, when did you get here?
DOCTOR FIELDGOOD: Mister... "San Gaa-ku"?
You have another visitor to see you.
GOKU: What? But... all my friends are already here.
MISTER POPO: Not *all* of them.
GOKU: Uh...uh..uh!!
[Flashback]
YOUNG GOKU: Yay! I made it to the top!
Now I can train with Kami! The strongest, most powerful being on the...
Hmm? Who's that?
[Monitor beeping rapidly] [Flashback ends]
GOKU: AAAAAH! AAAAH! GET HIM AWAY FROM ME!
NURSE 1: Hold him down! GOKU: AAAAAAAYAAAH!
NURSE 2: Careful, he’s injured! GOKU: OH GOD!! OH GOD!!
AAH! UNGH!!! AAH! UNGH!!! AAAAAAH!
[♫ "Cha-La Head-Cha-La" ♫]
♫ CHA-LA HEAD-CHA-LA ♫
♫ Egao urutora zetto de ♫ (With a smile that’s Ultra-Z)
♫ Kyô mo ai-yai-yai-yai-yai~ ♫ (Even today is ai-yai-yai-yai-yai~)
♫ Sparking! [fading echo] ♫
DR. FIELDGOOD: Well, we’ve finally been able to sedate him. Took us a while; we had to go through some alternative treatment.
MAS. ROSHI: Oh, really? What did you use?
DR. FIELDGOOD: Something I found under the sink. I think it was... Clorox or something.
GOKU: Aarrggargggg....
DR. FIELDGOOD: Well, page me if you need me.
MR. POPO: Byyye.
MAS. ROSHI: Oh, you’re still here. Who are you anyway?
KORIN: That’s Mr. Popo. He lives up on the lookout with Kami.
MAS. ROSHI: ...Did that cat just talk?
MR. POPO: Alright. Everyone listen up if you want to get those other useless maggots back.
KRILLIN: You mean, you can get our friends back--?
MR. POPO: Shut up, maggot!
KRILLIN: Yes, Sir!
MR. POPO: As I was saying,
the only hope to get your friends back is to use the Dragon Balls on Kami’s home planet:
Namek.
BULMA: Namek? That’s not a planet I’ve ever heard of.
MR. POPO: Oh, look at that. A woman who doesn’t know any better. What are the odds?
KRILLIN: To be fair, Mr. Popo, until recently I’ve never heard of that planet either.
MR. POPO: Oh, look at that. A woman who doesn’t know any better.
KRILLIN: AGA--d'aah! Dammit I walked right into that one.
MR. POPO: Anyway, I’m the only one who knows where Kami’s old ship is, and the only one with the transportation to get you there; and this is a carpet made for two.
BULMA: Well, I think the only way to fairly decide on this is to have a democratic vote.
KRILLIN: Bulma!
MAS. ROSHI: Bulma! KORIN: Bulma.
GOHAN: Bulma.
YAJIROBE: Bulma.
OX KING: Yoooohooo! Bulma.
GOKU: (Gurgle)
BULMA: Okay, um...uh....oh!
HA! We don’t need your help!
I’ve got right here a remote control to one of the crashed Saiyan ships. All I have to do is put in these coordinates and...
{SSSSSS}
TV reporter: YEEEEEEE--!! {BOOM}
[1000 Hz audio tone]
VOICE: CRITICAL FAILURE! [XD]
MR. POPO: Well, well, well. Look who just ran out of options...
MAS. ROSHI: Dammit, Bulma, stop being such a scaredy-cat and get on the carpet with the scary genie.
BULMA: Ugh, I swear to God - if anything happens to me while I’m gone, I’m kicking Krillins’ ass.
MR. POPO: Oh, you and I are gonna get along just fine. BULMA: (Distressed noises)
{BYEOO}
MR. POPO: Alright, here we are - Yunzabit Heights.
BULMA: Wait a sec... how did we make it here so fast? This is the other side of the planet!
MR. POPO: Yep, this carpet gets about ten thousand miles to the soul.
BULMA: What?
MR. POPO: ...The gallon.
BULMA: But... if you can make it to the other side of the planet so fast, why didn’t you help Goku get to the Saiyans when he arrived on Earth?
MR. POPO: I was preoccupied.
[Flashback]
GOKU: Mr. Popo! I need your carpet to get to my friends as quickly as possible!
MR. POPO [off-screen]: Makin' toast!
GOKU: Aww, fiiine...!
Nimbus!
{WHOOSH}
{DING}
MR. POPO [o-s]: Butterin' toast!
[Flashback ends]
Here it is - Kami’s ship.
BULMA: It’s old and covered in moss!
MR. POPO: I know. Fits, doesn’t it? Now get in.
BULMA: But, how do we--
MR. POPO: Popo!
{WHRRRRRRR}
BULMA: Oh wow! Your name opens the ship?
MR. POPO: Popo!
{WHIRRR}
BULMA: ...And it closes it too!
MR. POPO: POPO!!
[Ship whooshes] [Bulma screaming]
[Tire skid noise]
No. It just knows better. Welcome to Jupiter.
BULMA: My God! We’re so far into space! In such a short amount of time!
This is wonderful, Mr. Popo! We can finally save our friends! This is terrific! This is--
MR. POPO: POOOOOOPO--
OOOOOOOO!! [Bulma screaming]
BULMA: And we went to Jupiter in just a couple of seconds! We’ll be at Namek in no time! And even better, Popo could be our pilot!
KRILLIN: OH DEAR GOD!
MR. POPO: No.
KRILLIN [o-s]: OH THANK GOD!
BULMA: But, why aren’t you--
MR. POPO: If I was going to do it myself, why would I need you?
See you when you get back!
See you when you get back! Except...
See you when you get back! Except... this season...
See you when you get back! Except... this season... you.
KRILLIN [nervous]: Heh... whaddya think he means by that? Heh.
CHI-CHI: Well, all I know is that my little boy isn’t going anywhere.
GOHAN: Actually, Mom... I’m going to Namek.
CHI-CHI: As.
CHI-CHI: As. I.
CHI-CHI: As. I. Said.
CHI-CHI: As. I. Said. My little boy...
CHI-CHI: As. I. Said. My little boy... isn't...
CHI-CHI: As. I. Said. My little boy... isn't... going...
CHI-CHI: As. I. Said. My little boy... isn't... going... *anywhere*!
GOHAN: But Mom! Piccolo died for me! It’s my responsibility!
CHI-CHI: Gohan, I am your mother! And as your mother, you will listen to me, and you will do as I say!
GOHAN: But that's not--
CHI-CHI: Did you carry around a baby in you for nine months, with a man who literally thought you had Cinna-Buns hidden in your shirt?!
GOHAN: But I--
CHI-CHI: Now you’re going to lay in this hospital bed, recover like a normal boy, and then you’re going right back to your Advanced Trig classes,
AND THAT IS THE LAST WE WILL--!!
GOHAN: SHUT YOUR F**KING FACE!!!!!
[Ambient noise]
...I’ll be going to Namek now.
CHI-CHI: You best.
{SLAM}
BULMA: Uh well, uh... better get started on that ship!
GOHAN: Please hurry...
NARRATOR: With that, Bulma got to work on the ship to prepare it for their travel.
BULMA: Hey Dad, how are things coming along?
DR. BRIEFS: Well, I’m working on your translator, but all I can get it to do is translate the Namekian into another language I don’t understand.
TOILET: Toire de arimasu! (Japanese for “I am a toilet”)
DR. BRIEFS: Damn moon-speak!
NARRATOR: And in ten days, the remaining warriors were recovered and ready to set out to Namek.
KRILLIN: So, you sure this thing’s ready to fly?
BULMA: Yep! I’ve gotten everything worked out. Well, except for one thing:
We couldn’t fix the translator for the toilet...
TOILET: ICH BIN GEFÜLLT MIT PISSWASSER! (German for “I am filled with pee”)
MAS. ROSHI: Hey, I think I see their car.
KRILLIN [o-s]: Hey Gohan, how are yo--
KRILLIN [o-s]: Hey Gohan, how are yo--ooOOOH MY GOD!
What happened to your head? You look like a young Moe Howard!
GOHAN: Well look who’s talking, Curly!
KRILLIN [o-s]: Why, I oughta--!
BULMA: Clam it, chowderheads, we gotta get going!
GOHAN: Bye everybody!
CHI-CHI [o-s]: Now Gohan, don’t make any friends with any questionable strangers!
That includes you, Krillin!
KRILLIN: So Bulma, where do I put my stuff?
BULMA: Sit down, strap in, and shut up!
KRILLIN: Uh, alright...
So Gohan, how much stuff did you bring?
GOHAN [o-s]: Well, Mom packed my bags, so there’s a lot in there.
KRILLIN [o-s]: Well, you know what they say: “Always be prepared”.
BULMA: Popo.
KRILLIN [o-s]: AAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!! GOHAN [o-s]: AAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!
{TCHING}
[♫ Closing theme (DBZ intermission) ♫]
{Captions by PyroAvok}
GOKU: Gggrarrrggagrggagrag...bacon....hcrrrg...