Lizzie: I went back and watched all of Lydia's videos.
I don't know that girl.
It's like my sister is a person I've never met.
And then I thought about it.
And how could I not have seen her when she was standing right in front of me?
Sometimes I feel so clever and rational and appropriately analytical about the world around me.
I'm a grad student! It's what I do, what I'm supposed to be skilled at doing.
Communicating and relating and acknowledging that people do not fit into
neat little boxes all wrapped and tied up in string.
But here we are.
My name is Lizzie Bennet and I'm out of tools for this.
"An Understanding" Written by Rachel Kiley
Jane: Hey.
I brought you some tea.
Lizzie: Not sure I really deserve tea right now.
Jane: Everyone deserves tea.
Lizzie: Is it magic tea that tells me how to fix everything?
Because I'm at a loss.
Jane: It's...chamomile.
Lizzie: I'll give it a shot.
Jane: Good.
Lizzie: Remember back when we did costume theater and
made fun of Mom's convoluted plans and just...laughed?
Jane: That was nice.
Lizzie: You don't have to sit with me.
I'm okay.
I know you probably have stuff to do.
Jane: Are you sure?
Lizzie: Yeah.
I think I'd rather be alone right now.
Jane: Okay.
Lizzie: I mean, you know.
Jane: Yeah.
Alright.
Lizzie: I'm not sure I've ever felt so incredibly useless.
My sister's hurting, and there's nothing I can do about it.
I don't even know if she would want me to.
But it is taking every piece of self-control that I have to stop myself from setting up camp
outside her door and waiting for her to come out and tell me how I can make this better.
Or going to find George Wickham and...
I probably shouldn't finish that.
Plausible deniability.
Just in case.
You saw.
He was manipulating her.
And using her to get back at me.
But Jane's right.
I can't just sit here and wallow in guilt.
I'm no good to Lydia like that.
Lydia (off-screen): Talking about me?
Lizzie: Hey.
Oh, let me--
Lydia: No.
That's why I'm here.
For my quick fix.
That's how things work on your videos, right?
Somebody wanders in and talks about their problems,
and by the end, everything is magically better.
Or on the way to it.
I'd do it myself, but my videos just catalogue a car crash.
Lizzie: I don't wanna film this, Lydia.
I don't want to put this on the internet.
Lydia: Why not?
Everything else will be.
Lizzie: No. We are going to figure this out. No one is ever gonna see that.
Lydia: That doesn't matter.
Lizzie: I don't know how to help, Lydia. What can I do?
Lydia: Nothing.
I shouldn't be here. I'm sorry.
Lizzie: That's not what I meant. I don't want you to leave.
Lydia: Why not?
They do.
Lizzie: No.
Lydia: "Lydia, get over yourself!"
"Lydia, you're being too dramatic!"
"Lydia, you dragged Lizzie away from Darcy and Gigi,
where she could have been happy forever! You're so selfish."
Do you think I don't know what they're saying?
That I'm ruining your life?
And Jane's. And my own, so what else is new?
Lizzie: Hey, no one's life is ruined, okay?
And no one is saying that, and if they are, they're wrong.
There is nowhere else I would be but here with you.
Lydia: Well, you shouldn't have to be.
I mean, none of this would have happened
if I hadn't been acting like a stupid, whorey slut again, right?
Lizzie: Oh, no, Lydia.
No, no, no.
Lydia: I let him film us having sex, Lizzie.
I let him do that.
Lizzie: That doesn't make it okay for him to take advantage of you.
Lydia: Are you not listening? I let him film that.
I said it was okay.
He said...
that I didn't love him as much as he loved me, and I needed to prove it.
So I said okay.
So that he wouldn't leave.
How freaking pathetic is that?
I went after your ex.
I said terrible things about you.
I didn't talk to anyone or listen to anyone.
I trusted someone you all said I shouldn't.
Everyone who watches these knows how I felt.
That he never made me do anything,
so just tell me that I didn't get what I had coming, Lizzie.
Just try to tell me that!
Lizzie: You didn't. Lydia, that's not how life works.
You don't deserve awful things because you trusted someone who was there for you
when no one else was around.
You don't deserve this, Lydia.
Not you.
Never you.
This is on him.
He's...
He's a monster.
Lydia: He's not a monster.
He's, um...
I don't know what he is.
What I could be, someday.
Lizzie: You are nothing like him.
Lydia: Aren't I?
Lizzie: Why would you think that?
Lydia: Because if he's all bad,
then what does that say about me?
Lizzie: That doesn't say anything about you.
Lydia: Really?
The only person who would...
I thought he loved me.
I thought that I was...
for once,
good enough for somebody.
No, no, no. I'm okay. I don't need anyone.
Lizzie: Yes, you do.
Yes, you do, and I'm here.
I'm here.
Lydia: Why didn't he love me, Lizzie?
I love him so much.
Lizzie: I love you.
Lydia: Why didn't he love me?
Lizzie: I love you. Do you hear me? I love you.
You are not alone.
I'm sorry I wasn't there before.
I'm sorry I didn't understand.
But I love you.